We all know that narcissists just love to mistreat and hurt others. But what happens when a narcissist feels hurt or offended? What happens when self-esteem and ego are hurt? Narcissistic injury refers to the emotional trauma that narcissists experience when they are undervalued, rejected, and criticized.

And this can seriously scare away the narcissist’s pride, self-esteem and self-esteem. In fact, sometimes the damage can be so severe that the narcissist can never recover from it, leading to what is known as a narcissistic scar.

Note: Because narcissism lies on a spectrum, by using the term narcissist we mean to refer to individuals with narcissistic personality traits. However, the severity of these traits may vary from person to person.

What is a narcissistic injury?

Also known as a wounded ego or narcissistic wound, it refers to the psychological trauma and emotional distress experienced by a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) when their sense of self-worth and self-esteem are threatened or challenged.

The term was first introduced by Sigmund Freud, who noted that individuals with narcissistic traits are particularly sensitive to criticism, rejection, or perceived threats to their self-esteem and self-worth.

Because “narcissists” suffer from low self-esteem, they are exceptionally sensitive to criticism, rejection, and defeat. Although they may not openly express their “hurt,” criticism can be a painful experience for them because it can make them feel empty, unworthy, devalued and humiliated. To counter these negative feelings, the narcissist may react with bitterness, anger, and hate.

1. Be honest and open
   The first step is to have an honest and open conversation about your financial situation and the emotions surrounding it. Both partners should be willing to discuss the issue openly and without judgment.
2. Understand the root cause
   It is important to understand why financial fraud occurred in the first place. Was it due to different attitudes toward money, fear of judgment, or mistrust? Understanding the root cause can help you tackle the problem more effectively.
3. Set clear boundaries and expectations
   Both partners need to set clear boundaries and expectations about their finances. This includes agreeing on a budget, putting together financial goals, and creating a money management system. This step is crucial to overcoming financial infidelity.

Related: Love or Money? The Signs And Impact of Financial Infidelity On Your Relationship

4. Rebuild trust
   Rebuilding trust takes time and effort, but it is essential for a relationship to move forward. Both partners need to be honest and transparent about their finances and actions.
5. Forgive and let go
   Forgiveness is crucial in any relationship, especially after an incident of financial cheating. Once you’ve addressed the issue and taken steps to rebuild trust, it’s important to forgive your partner and yourself and move forward together.
6. Seek professional help
   If the financial cheating has caused significant damage to the relationship, seeking professional help from a financial advisor, therapist, or marriage counselor may be helpful.

How does a narcissistic wound manifest?

So how can you understand that a narcissist’s ego has been hurt? Well, narcissists can show some signs that can reveal how much they have been hurt by criticism or rejection. However, this primarily depends on the severity of the injury, the severity of the narcissistic traits, and the personality of the individual.

However, some common signs of narcissism may be noticeable to others, such as:

1. Defensive
   When a person with narcissistic tendencies feels threatened or criticized, they may become defensive and criticize others. They may try to justify their behavior, deny responsibility for their actions, or blame others.
2. Anger and aggression
   Narcissistic individuals can be prone to outbursts of anger when they feel their self-esteem has been threatened. This can be directed at the person who feels they have been hurt or at others around them.
3. Withdrawing
   In some cases, the narcissistic wound may cause the person to withdraw and isolate themselves from others. They may become distant or cold and refuse to engage in social activities or communicate with others.

Related: Breaking Free From The Toxic Web: 9 Steps For Dealing With A Narcissist In Your Life

4. Greatness
   To protect his or her ego, someone with narcissistic tendencies may engage in arrogant behavior or make exaggerated claims about their abilities or accomplishments. This can be a way to try to restore their sense of self-importance.

5. Victim mentality

Narcissistic injury and victim mentality

A narcissistic injury can sometimes lead to an individual adopting a victim mentality. They may feel sorry for themselves and think that others are trying to get them. This can be a way of avoiding responsibility for their actions and blaming others.

These are some of the most common symptoms of a narcissistic injury. Narcissistic injuries can be challenging for those around the person who suffers them, as they can lead to unpredictable and challenging behavior.

It is important to handle these situations with empathy and understanding while setting healthy boundaries to protect yourself from any harmful behavior.

Related: Toxic Vibes Dragging You Down? 10 Signs It’s Time To Break Up With Your Negative Friend

What causes narcissistic injury

Narcissists are vulnerable to narcissism when they feel their sense of self-worth and self-esteem is being undermined, whether that be real or imagined. Some of the common triggers that can lead to a narcissistic wound in a narcissistic person include:

1. Criticism
   Narcissistic individuals often have an inflated sense of self-importance and may react negatively to any criticism or feedback, even if it is constructive. Criticism can make them feel that their sense of self-worth is threatened or challenged.

For example, criticism of their appearance, weight, or physical fitness can lead to feelings of shame, humiliation, anger, and other negative feelings because their appearance is often central to their sense of self-worth. This is one of the most common examples of narcissism.

2. Rejection
   Narcissists crave attention and admiration from others and may feel deeply hurt when they realize they are being rejected or ignored. This can be especially true in romantic relationships or in situations where the narcissist feels they are not receiving the attention or admiration they feel they deserve.

Rejection can be a huge blow to a narcissistic person’s self-esteem causing them to feel undervalued, which can make them defensive or angry.

3. Failure
   Narcissistic individuals are usually highly motivated to succeed and gain recognition. Failing to achieve these goals can be devastating and lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Because they often have an inflated sense of their own abilities, narcissists may have difficulty accepting failures or setbacks. When they fail at something or do not achieve the success they desire, it can damage their self-esteem and lead to feelings of shame or embarrassment.

4. Loss of control
   Narcissists need to be in control and may become agitated or defensive when they feel they are losing control of a situation or others. This can lead to feelings of vulnerability and insecurity, which can lead to a narcissistic wound.

Examples of narcissistic injury
While the above factors are some of the main reasons why narcissists get hurt, there can be many other reasons why a narcissist can feel hurt, such as-

Related: 15 Reasons Narcissists and Sociopaths Lie

5. Treason
   Narcissistic individuals may expect loyalty and admiration from others, and any betrayal can be deeply traumatic.
6. Accusations of dishonesty
   Narcissistic individuals are often highly invested in maintaining their image, and any suggestion that they are dishonest can be a major threat to their sense of self.
7. Lack of interest
   Narcissistic individuals often crave attention and admiration from others. Ignoring or being ignored can be very painful and humiliating for them.

8. A perceived lack of respect
   Narcissistic individuals may feel deserving of a certain level of respect or consideration from others. Any disrespect can be seen as a huge insult to their sense of self.
9. Competitors
   Narcissistic individuals may see others as competitors and feel threatened by their successes or accomplishments. This can lead to envy or a desire to undermine the other person.

The narcissist’s vulnerability to narcissistic abuse is rooted in their deep-seated insecurities and need for validation from others. It is important to recognize and address these issues to prevent further harm to yourself or others.

Why do narcissists react negatively to narcissistic wounding?
Narcissists may react in several ways to a narcissistic wound. These reactions can range from anger and defensiveness to withdrawal and depression. Understanding why people with narcissism react in this way can help us better manage their behaviors and navigate our relationships.

Here’s Why Narcissists Act This Way With Narcissistic Wounds –

1. Fragile self-esteem
   Narcissists often possess an inflated sense of self-importance and rely heavily on external validation to maintain their fragile self-esteem. When their sense of importance or superiority is challenged, they may feel like their self-esteem has been attacked and react defensively to protect it.

2. The need to control
   Narcissistic individuals often need to control their relationships and interactions. When they feel threatened, they may react with anger or aggression in an attempt to regain control.
3. Lack of empathy
   Narcissists often lack empathy, which makes it difficult for them to understand or consider the feelings of others. When their sense of self is challenged, they may be more focused on their emotional response and less able to see the impact of their behavior on others.
4. Black and white thinking
   Narcissistic individuals often have a rigid, black-and-white view of themselves, others, and the world. They may see themselves as perfect or superior and others as flawed or inferior. When their sense of self is challenged, they may find it difficult to reconcile that with their self-image and respond defensively.
5. Fear of abandonment
   Narcissists may have a deep fear of abandonment or rejection due to past traumatic experiences. When their sense of importance is challenged, they may worry that others will no longer see them as valuable and may react defensively to protect their relationships.
6. Shame
   Narcissists may experience shame or humiliation in response to a narcissistic wound. This can be especially difficult for them because they have low self-esteem and need to maintain a certain image or reputation.
7. Lack of insight
   Narcissistic individuals may struggle with self-awareness and may not be aware of the impact their behavior has on others. This can make it difficult for them to understand why others are upset or hurt by their reactions to the narcissistic wound.

What to do if you hurt a narcissist emotionally

Have you hurt a narcissistic person with whom you are in a relationship? It is important to take responsibility for your actions and try to repair the damage done to the person with narcissistic traits and the relationship. Here are some steps you can take to address narcissistic anger and injury:

1. Admit the wound
   Start by acknowledging the harm you caused the other person. Let them know that you understand the impact of your words or actions and that you regret causing them pain.
2. Listen actively
   Give the other person a chance to express their feelings and point of view without interrupting or ignoring them. Try to listen with an open mind and avoid getting defensive. This is probably the best way to deal with a narcissistic injury.
3. Take ownership
   Take ownership of your behavior and avoid making excuses or blaming the other person. Take responsibility for your actions and apologize sincerely if necessary.
4. Provide compensation
   Depending on the situation, you may want to offer the narcissist some type of compensation. This may include making adjustments, providing emotional support, or taking steps to prevent similar incidents in the future.
5. Be patient
   It may take time for the other person to process their feelings and heal from the hurt you caused. Be empathetic and patient and give them the space they need to work through their feelings.
6. Learn from experience
   Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your behavior and the underlying factors that may have contributed to the narcissistic wound. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to address any issues that may have contributed to the situation, to help the narcissist and improve the relationship.

By taking these steps, you can work on repairing the relationship and avoid similar incidents in the future. Dealing with a narcissistic injury can be difficult but it is possible and worth it, especially when you are involved in a close relationship with the narcissist.