You’ve been taken advantage of, you’ve been abused, you’ve been taken advantage of, and no matter how much you strain your mind, there seems to be no end to it. And the worst thing about all of this is that you always tend to attract narcissists. But why are you a narcissistic magnet?
Being in one abusive relationship after another can take its toll on your mental health, and make you wonder what has always been so attractive to the narcissist in you. You also constantly wonder why you are drawn to narcissists? But did you know? It’s not your fault. It’s not that you’re actively looking for narcissists to be with.
Perhaps you are an empath, which is why narcissists flock to you; It is well known that empathy attracts narcissists. Narcissists are always looking for kind and compassionate people because they know they can exploit and manipulate their empathy.
But why do empaths attract narcissists? What traits really attract narcissists?
Related: What is Narcissistic Abuse: 16 Signs To Identify And How To Protect
4 Traits of a Narcissistic Magnet
1) You have a merciful, kind and big heart,
You are a compassionate and confident person and this is one of the biggest reasons why you are attractive to narcissists. You have a big, open heart, and for you, love comes before self-respect. Your love knows no bounds and that’s a good thing. Narcissists always want to be with someone like that, because that is the perfect source of narcissistic supply for them.
However, you must have healthy boundaries. There are times when you need to stand up for yourself. You need to believe in yourself, and you need to love yourself so that others can’t take advantage of you and they can’t bring you down. Narcissists are really bad people, and you don’t deserve to have their negativity in your life.
2) You feel out of place and suffer from a lack of determination.
Abusing a narcissist makes you feel small and worthless and you end up hating yourself. You are broken and you can’t even look within yourself for help. You wander around looking for support and validation and fall prey to narcissists who are waiting to prey on a vulnerable like you because they love it when you constantly question yourself.
They take advantage of your emotions. It could be online, within your family, or part of any circle. Don’t let anyone affect your self-esteem. See a trustworthy, non-judgmental therapist about the emotional abuse you suffered. Give yourself time and let the wounds heal. Know that you can survive on your own.
It may seem difficult and impossible now, but let me tell you, you will get there. Treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness that you would treat others.
Related: The 5 Wants Of A Narcissist
3) You have a lot of pent-up pain and anger inside of you.
Being in an abusive relationship can naturally cause a lot of anger and unresolved trauma for the victim. Because of all the cheating, lying, humiliation, and psychological manipulation, there is a lot of resentment in you. Just as you’re trying your best to work it all out, the narcissist comes up with some new negativity and trauma.
You are the perfect narcissistic magnet for them because you are still healing mentally and emotionally, and for them, this is the perfect opportunity to manipulate and destroy you again.
The only way out of their trap is to practice forgiveness and self-compassion. As you learn forgiveness, acceptance, and indifference, you will slowly begin to release old betrayals and open your heart again. This is when you discover the deep pain that hides behind the veil of anger.
The more you connect with your inner child, the stronger you will be. The more you love yourself, the less the narcissist can manipulate you.
4) You suffer from low confidence and low self-worth.
Long after the abuse is over, you feel hateful and unworthy. There is a belief that you are not enough and you keep looking for validation and you keep trying to please people. In every area of your life, you struggle to prove yourself and seek the approval of others and this is where you fall prey again.
You end up attracting toxic people into your life, who are only interested in using you and hurting you. Women who are attracted to narcissists tend to have low self-esteem, which is why it is so easy for narcissists to play them.
You need to understand your own worth, in order to stop being a narcissistic magnet. You are valuable. You are good enough. You are strong. You are capable. And most importantly, you deserve true love. The more you believe and internalize these truths, the more confident you will be.
Self-love is the only solution. No relationship or job can fill the void. Once we begin to love ourselves these wounds will heal. Once we realize that we are fine the way we are and we don’t need to do anything to be loved, we regain our long-lost self-confidence. We feel at peace again.
When we do these things we meet ourselves again. We realize nothing but to ask, “What is wrong with me?” was the problem. We start to lighten up again, get our sense of humor back, and realize that the love and trust we’ve been missing have always been there inside our hearts.
Related: The Cost of Loving a Narcissist