The relationship between a mother and her daughter is always a very touching one. But what happens in a mother-daughter relationship with narcissistic sympathy? Lying, deception, manipulation, emotional abuse, etc. Daughters of narcissistic mothers have painful and abusive childhoods that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother is traumatic, to say the least. Maternal narcissism is characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, jealousy, control, intrusion, and selfishness. And it will be even worse if you are a sensitive and kind-hearted daughter.
No matter how badly she treats you, you always try to treat her with respect, empathy, and understanding. You always try to be a good daughter to her, and you probably suffer from good daughter syndrome. So, what is all this about? Let’s find out!
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What is the good daughter syndrome?
As a daughter, all you want to do is make your mom feel happy and proud of you. Whatever you do, you do it for her pleasure. You put her needs before yours, her feelings always override yours, and what she thinks is most important to you, even at the cost of your happiness and peace.
Your mother is the center of your universe, and even though you know she is abusive and narcissistic, you still give her that respect, love, and importance in your life.
Being the good daughter of a narcissistic mother can be emotionally draining, but that never stops your mother from taking advantage of you over and over again.
You’re trained to always put your mom first, and after a point it becomes your second nature. Being the good daughter sucks the life out of you, and you gradually become unhealthily dependent on each other.
In order to understand this more, let’s explore some of the key signs of the narcissistic mother-daughter relationship with empathy, and how narcissistic mothers treat their daughters.
7 signs of a narcissistic empath’s daughter
- No matter what you do, you will never be good enough for it.
Daughters of difficult mothers always grow up with a lot of criticism and insults drilled into their brains, gradually making them feel like they’re never going to be good enough for her or anyone else.
Your narcissistic mother is constantly humiliating, humiliating, and putting you down, hoping to completely destroy your confidence and self-esteem. No matter how much you have achieved in your life, no matter how much you do for it, it will never be enough.
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- She doesn’t respect your boundaries.
This is one of the key signs of a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship. It’s almost impossible to set healthy personal boundaries when you have a toxic mom like her.
She has absolutely no respect for you and your boundaries and will always violate them just to meet her own needs. And not only that, she will make you feel like the worst daughter in the world for wanting to have boundaries. You will freak out as if you did something very offensive and criminal by wanting some space.
- Making your mom feel good is your job and your responsibility.
Everything you do is directly related to it; You can’t be an independent person and do whatever you like, you always have to consider her feelings and opinions first.
For example, if you buy a dress you like, you should consider whether or not your mom will approve of it, because how you dress is a direct reflection of her.
What college to go to, what kind of people you hang out with, what you eat, how you behave – all of this has to be done keeping in mind whether or not your mom feels okay about it. Her happiness is always your responsibility, even if it requires you to sacrifice your own happiness, dignity and self-respect.
- Any kind of rejection is seen as a rejection on her part.
Another key sign of a narcissistic parent and child relationship is empathy. When you try to take a stand for yourself and put yourself first, your mom immediately fires back and accuses you of being selfish and a bad daughter.
If you choose not to heed her “advice” or enlist her “help”, she will immediately start manipulating you into thinking that you broke your “poor mother’s heart” by rejecting her like that. She gets very defensive when you question her opinions and actions and hates it when you choose to be independent about your life and choices.
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- She can never be wrong, and everything is always your fault.
When a sympathetic daughter is raised by a narcissistic mother, she is manipulated into believing that she is always wrong and never her mother. Even if you did something horrible, you can never expect true remorse and an apology from her.
For example, if she went through your personal stuff and found out, she would simply say that she was worried about you, which is why she did it. No amount of anger would make her realize how wrong she was. Or if she makes you jokes in front of others, and you get offended, she will simply accuse you of “having no sense of humor.”
- You always doubt yourself and hold back.
When it comes to the narcissistic mother-daughter relationship, it’s only natural to always doubt yourself, given that you’ve been abused and manipulated to do so since you were a little kid. You struggle with making decisions and feel intimidated by doing something on your own.
You’ve always been made to feel like you’re not good enough or not worthy enough, and that makes you constantly doubt and question your abilities. You feel that you can’t trust your own judgment, that you can’t do anything right, all on your own and without any help.
- Your mom thinks she knows what’s best for you.
This is a classic symptom of good daughter syndrome. Your mother knows best when it comes to your life, and she knows better than you. It doesn’t matter how you want to live your life, what matters is what you want and expect from you.
The saying “Mom knows best” takes on a whole new meaning when you have a narcissistic mom. She will make all of your decisions for you and you are supposed to keep your mouth shut and go along with them.
If I ask you to sit, you are seated. If I ask you to stand up, stand up. This is the case when it comes to the narcissistic mother-daughter relationship.
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