There are many ways narcissists manipulate their victims, and the mental killing tactic is one of them, it won’t leave bruises but it can destroy you psychologically.
Narcissistic personality disorder is named after Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his reflection. Freud used the term to describe self-absorbed people, and psychoanalysts focused on the narcissist’s need to boost his self-esteem through grandiose imagination, exaggerated ambition, showmanship, and feelings of entitlement.
Donald W. Black, The DSM-5 Handbook: The Essential Companion to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Who do narcissists love the most? themselves.
Who do narcissists love after themselves? themselves.
Who can they think of apart from themselves? no one.
To narcissists, it’s always me, me, and myself.
But this core of me, me, and myself is covered in a thick layer of charisma. People around them find her dashing, impressive, witty, and witty.
They walk around with an aura of elegance and have a large following who are always busy pleasing and seducing their narcissistic leader. This is the image that the narcissist holds.
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But this is fake. All you see is an illusion because the narcissist is not the person they pretend to be. They are good orators and can persuade and manipulate people. So are all these deceptive appearances and manipulative skills, they master the art of illusion.
If you believe in them, then you become a victim of their delusional tricks. The narcissist, after all, is a master of illusion.
Now that you’ve fallen in love with a narcissist or rather fallen into a delusion, try to understand your value in their life. What role do you play?
The most important thing for narcissists is to continue to enhance this glamorous outer layer of their identities. This is where it comes in, like a makeup case or accessory. As long as you can amplify their charm, you are good to them.
When you fail to do so, you are removed from their lives. Even if you can continue to ramp up their charms, there are chances of them expelling you. If you take the risk of revealing the personality behind the charming face, you will be excluded from their lives because narcissist always has insecurities that their true image will be destroyed.
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They will destroy you in such a way as if you never existed, and the feelings they shared with you disappeared like camphor all of a sudden. For them, relationships are important as long as they can only be beneficial to them.
Love for a narcissist is self-love.
The narcissist falls in love with someone who can add value to their life but has no intention of reciprocating. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you share with the narcissist.
It could be a spouse, child, teacher, or friend. If you stop being useful to their lives, they will soon replace you. They don’t care about the good moments they spend with you. They may have said something that you thought reciprocated, but in reality, they were just as fake as the personality they carry.
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A narcissist wears labels all the time.
But if you have an intimate relationship with them, you will be able to see your true self…the one that is so callous, selfish, and self-absorbed. Once they are exposed in front of you, they will try to kill you before you kill them by revealing their true form in front of others.
According to Dr. Keith Ablow,
Some narcissists believe that unmasking them is the same as killing them because the outer veil they wear will be damaged and will make them non-existent and they will go deeper into emotional traumas that have their roots in the past.
Hence some narcissists commit psychological murders.
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How do they commit this mental killing?
They will criticize you harshly. They will ignore you and point out the flaws in everything you do. They will make you feel unwanted and a failure.
Their mental killing tactic also includes them blaming you for every negative thing that happens to them and manipulating you into thinking that you are the one who needs to change.
They will use all your dark secrets against you until you start to underestimate yourself and lose your self-respect and self-confidence.
They kill you psychologically and you get depressed.
But they don’t know who they are themselves. They have imaginary accomplishments to prove to others that they are awesome.
They believe in their lies, in these self-constructed worlds. You were a threat to their lies, to their world. Hence, they removed you by killing you.