How many times have you been in a relationship that was initially passionate and then fizzled out — or worse, became abusive — within the first six months?
Have you ever fallen in love with a man who was initially your prince charming and did everything right, but then quickly turned on you, perhaps cheated on you, or started ignoring you?
Did you blame yourself and then let him back into your life, lower your standards, only to find that his bad behavior continued? Or maybe he lured you back with promises to change and be a better person, but his behavior worsened? Did he call you names, let you down, or tell you that no one would ever love you the way he did – and were you starting to believe everything he said?
Even though he treated you badly, you still loved him, and you felt helpless because you couldn’t get over him. Maybe you felt addicted to him, and no matter how bad the relationship was, you still felt the need to be with him.
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are in a codependent narcissistic relationship, and you are likely the codependent person. Codependency, according to Ross Rosenberg, author of Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us, is very similar to alcoholism. We become addicted to emotional manipulators because of our codependency, something we learn from childhood.
I’m passionate about this topic because I’ve worked with many women to break free from their codependency, but beyond that, I call myself a “recovering codependent.” I know what it means to love someone who is not good for me. Overcoming them seems next to impossible.
But it is possible to break free from the spell of narcissism. You must first understand codependency and what drives you to fall in love with a narcissist. Then it takes dedication and commitment to break your addiction to that person. As Ross Rosenberg said in my podcast interview, “Prepare for the fight of your life.”
I had the wonderful opportunity to interview Ross and I encourage you to listen to my podcast, because it gives a great insight into why we love people who hurt us. He will soon be offering a course on How to Reverse Codependency and Heal, and I encourage you to join his mailing list to get updates on this offering, or to explore the possibilities of working with me.
Whether you choose to work with me, Ross Rosenberg, or a therapist/coach who understands codependency, just know that this battle of your life doesn’t have to be done alone. There are a lot of resources available to you, and I am here to provide you with as much as I can.
