No one wants to believe that they can be easily manipulated.

Of course, if you’re dating a manipulative person, you’ll recognize the red flags.

But in reality, this happens more often than you think.

Manipulators are skilled at what they do, and their methods are not obvious, especially if you have not been together for a long time.

That’s why it’s important to familiarize yourself with the common phrases they might use to mess with your mind.

If your partner is using these 10 phrases, he is trying to manipulate you.

Don’t let them get their way.

1) I know we just met, but I love you already.
I don’t believe in love at first sight. Lust for sure. love? Not much.

I distinctly remember how a friend’s girlfriend once excitedly told me how she met her new boyfriend.

They were waiting at the traffic light in separate cars, and they looked at each other.

Then, poof! I just knew they were meant to be.

It sounded like a meet-cute from a romantic comedy, and she was already nervous.

Me, I was skeptical.

Call me cynical, but if things seem too good to be true, they probably are.

And if your new friend is showering you with affection and gifts, love is no more likely than love bombing.

Although love bombing may seem fun on the surface, the ultimate goal of this tactic is to create a feeling of emotional dependence and connection in the target person, i.e. you.

The honeymoon period should be sweet, not sugary.

2) If you truly loved me, you would do this.
This phrase is a classic example of guilt.

It means that your partner does not respect your boundaries.

They pressure you to do something you are not comfortable with by exploiting your emotions.

Just because you care about them doesn’t mean you have to do everything they want.

It’s normal to set boundaries, whether we’re talking about things you don’t like doing in bed or in life.

3) It seems like you don’t have time for me anymore.
This statement also falls under the umbrella of guilt, although it is less manipulative than the previous one and more of the passive-aggressive variety.

Your partner may be open about feeling neglected, but uses sarcasm to indicate that they don’t care about you, which triggers feelings of guilt.

Look, it’s good to sometimes have other priorities.

Not spending all your free time with your partner doesn’t mean he or she is any less important to you.

You are an empowered person, and you likely care about your career, friends, and hobbies.

Don’t lose yourself in a new relationship to the point where you forget who you are.

4) It didn’t happen.
Picture this: You’re talking about a past incident when your partner hurt you.

Instead of taking responsibility for their actions and apologizing, they deny it ever happened.

Or they suggest it didn’t happen exactly as you remember it. It wasn’t that bad, and you’re overreacting.

This is gaslighting.

Your partner is trying to make you question your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

If they do this consistently and long enough, you may start to question your sanity.

This will make you depend on them more.

5) It is brave to go after that promotion, especially since you have no real chance of getting it.

Manipulators like to target your insecurities to exert influence over you.

At first, they sit and watch. When you approach them, you share moments of self-doubt, anxiety, or vulnerability.

Instead of comforting you during these moments and encouraging you to improve, manipulators use them to undermine your self-esteem.

They make you doubt your abilities and feel dependent on their approval.

The above statement is disguised as a compliment but suggests that it’s not worth pursuing your goals because you won’t reach them anyway.

Worse still, this exploitation can extend to all areas of your life:

• I don’t know why you bother trying to make friends, people don’t seem to like you.
• You’re lucky because I’m patient enough to put up with your flaws.
• Are you really going to eat that?
• You’re cute when you try to talk about topics you have no idea about.
• No one can handle your problems like I do.

Your partner should make you feel good about yourself and be your biggest cheerleader.

end of story.

6) Maybe I could love you more if you were [insert adjective here].
sick? Attractive? tasty? Moderate build?

Love should not be conditional.

Whoever tells you otherwise does not have your best interest in mind.

7) Your friends are a bad influence.
Manipulators often use isolation as a tactic to control you.

They start by telling you that your family or friends have a terrible influence and can go so far as to distance you from your environment.

All in an attempt to isolate you from the people who care about you – and who will be able to discover their controlling ways in time.

Between these two extremes, they may discourage you from spending time with your loved ones, criticize them, or claim that they are interfering in your relationship.

Their ultimate goal?

They want you to be completely dependent on them and unable to seek support anywhere else.

Sure, sometimes your friends are a bad influence, and the partner who points this out may just be looking out for you.

However, if they insist on staying away from everyone close to you, that should ring alarm bells.

8) You’re making me act this way.
By using this statement, your partner is trying to deflect responsibility for what they are doing and place the blame entirely on you.

This phrase is intended to make you feel guilty and manipulate you into modifying your behavior to please them:

They lost their nerve, but only because they couldn’t be bothered to get ready on time.
They hit the wall, but only because they saw a social media post of you and your coworker, and got jealous.
They drank a lot at the party, but only because you were flirting with other people.
You found the idea.

You are not responsible for their bad behavior, and you cannot have a sustainable relationship if one of you is never responsible for how they act.

9) Complete silence.
Withholding affection is another form of manipulation, even if it doesn’t involve a lot of words.

It depends on silence.

In this case, your partner may give you the silent treatment if you upset him.

They absolutely refuse to see you or respond to your messages until you correct your behavior or give in to their demands.

They may also refuse to provide support if you are going through a difficult time or engaging in any form of physical intimacy.

Withholding affection is often used as a form of punishment or as a way to make you feel insecure about the relationship and more eager to please.

In both cases, the point is control, which is strictly prohibited.

10) I will not survive your loss.
This phrase may seem romantic on the surface. It’s anything but.

If your partner suggests that the breakup might lead to him hurting himself, he is placing a huge burden on you.

All to prevent you from leaving them or doing anything that might jeopardize the relationship.

You’ll be left feeling guilty or obligated, not to mention fearful that you might actually push them to their breaking point.

Even if your partner is struggling emotionally, using such a statement to influence your decisions is selfish and manipulative.

If you want to break up and are really worried about how your partner will react, reach out to some of their friends and family members who can provide support during this time.

Handle the breakup with respect and compassion, but remember to put your well-being first.

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Does your partner use any of the above statements to influence you?

If it only happens once or twice, talk openly about how their behavior made you feel, and set boundaries to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

But if these phrases are staples of your partner’s vocabulary, take stock of how you feel around them.

Being with a manipulative person often makes you stressed, confused, and isolated.

Don’t downplay your feelings or tell yourself it’s not a big deal.

Trust your gut.

It can tell you if your relationship is doing you more harm than good.