If you’ve ever dated a narcissist, you know how confusing and draining it can be. At first it was great. He swept me off my feet. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to think about it. But soon narcissistic behaviors began to emerge.
He was always on his phone and never had time for me or our relationship. No matter how much I tried to start the fire again, I could not reach it. He was emotionally distant and made it clear I wasn’t important.
The situation quickly escalated into abuse, where he manipulated me into believing things that weren’t true, or made me doubt my intuition. He was overly critical of me and made me feel bad about myself.
The relationship eventually ended, but it left a trail of trauma that I had to learn to recover from. It wasn’t easy, and there were times when I felt like I was drowning in the pain of what happened. But with time and work, I slowly began to progress and recover.
Narcissistic Abuse Cycle
Looking back, I can see that the narcissist acted according to plan. He pounced using the usual narcissistic tactics. I was bombarded with attention, gifts, romantic dates, and sexy declarations of love.
It was only later that I realized I had experienced a narcissistic cycle of abuse. What I was experiencing was the idealization phase, where the narcissist showers you with attention. I thought it was love, but it was a trick to control me and make me dependent on him.
When the idealization faded, I was left feeling confused and hurt. Suddenly, everything I did was wrong. The narcissist has now entered a devaluation phase, where he belittles me and makes me doubt myself.
Inevitably, the cycle continued, and before I could find my feet we were in the elimination phase. The narcissist disappeared. He blocked me on social media and ignored my calls.
I’ve Dated a Narcissist – Recognizing Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics
Only after I was dumped did I begin to understand how the narcissist manipulated me. He used tactics such as gaslighting, guilt tripping, and projection. These are common narcissistic behaviors, and it took time for me to recognize them.
Gaslighting occurs when the narcissist denies something you know to be true, causing you to doubt your sanity or judgment. Guilt is when you make yourself feel bad about something that wasn’t necessarily wrong or your fault. Projection is when they blame you for their mistakes and failures, in order to deflect their responsibility.
I Dated a Narcissist – Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
The healing process is ongoing and there are days when it can feel like a never-ending battle. But I learned to trust myself and my instincts again, and it was empowering.
It’s important to remember that healing from narcissistic abuse involves more than just dealing with the scars left by the relationship itself. It means learning to love yourself, recognize your own needs, and give yourself permission to pursue a life of happiness and freedom.
It’s hard work, but it’s worth it in the end. Taking care of yourself mentally and physically will help you heal from the trauma of dating a narcissist. It may be difficult at times, but if you stay focused on your healing, you will eventually find peace and contentment again.
Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way.
Healing from Narcissistic Trauma – Acknowledging the Experience
The first step to recovering from narcissistic abuse is recognizing the trauma you experienced and its effects on your mental health. It is important to understand that narcissistic abuse is real and has serious psychological repercussions.
Many people who have been in abusive relationships with narcissists feel ashamed or guilty for not recognizing the signs earlier or for “allowing” themselves to be treated so poorly.
The same thing happened to me. I would blame myself for not leaving sooner, or not recognizing the warning signs.
But it’s important to remember that narcissistic abuse can be incredibly deceptive and deceptive. It can be difficult to realize that the person you love is controlling and manipulative until it is too late.
Don’t blame yourself
It took me a long time to realize that my experience with a narcissist was not my fault. You must understand and accept that the narcissist is solely responsible for his manipulative behavior, and you are not to blame.
You need to view your behavior and reactions as normal responses to an abnormal situation. No one deserves to be manipulated or abused this way and you did nothing wrong.
Reframe your experience
Once you recognize the trauma of your experience, it’s time to start reframing it as something positive.
This means shifting your mindset away from victimhood and toward self-empowerment.
Realizing that you have the power to make decisions for yourself can help you regain control of your life and move forward with strength and confidence.
Additionally, positive self-talk will help you reframe your experience as something that made you stronger instead of weaker.
Seek professional help
In the months following my narcissist’s abandonment, I struggled with depression and anxiety. My family was worried about me and convinced me to see a therapist.
Therapy allowed me to talk about my experience with an unbiased professional who could help me process and move forward. With the right help, I was able to overcome my fear of being manipulated by someone else in the relationship again.
Having someone to talk to was essential to help me regain my sense of security and confidence in myself.
Focus on self-care
The most important thing you can do to heal from narcissistic abuse is to focus on self-care. Take time every day to acknowledge yourself, your strengths, and your value as a person. This is how I learned to love myself again, after the narcissist destroyed my self-confidence and self-esteem.
Take care of your body by eating healthy foods, exercising, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
Finally, give yourself permission to enjoy your life and be open to new experiences. Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from living a full and meaningful life.
I’ve dated a narcissist – Final Thoughts
Healing after a narcissistic relationship is not easy but it is possible with the right support and mindset. By acknowledging your experiences, reframing them in a positive light, and focusing on self-care, you can start to feel better and move forward with renewed confidence.
