How to Break Up with a Narcissist

In my psychiatric practice, I’ve seen how difficult it is for my patients to separate from a narcissistic partner. Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that you feel like you’re giving up a part of your heart to let them go. And they use every manipulation method in the book to convince you to stay.

On the surface, narcissists can seem charming, intelligent, and caring — and they know how to tempt and lure their way back into your life. But once they take you back, they go back to their selfish selves.

Their motto will always be “Me First!” It’s all about them. They have a great sense of self-importance and entitlement, and crave admiration and attention. She can also be very intuitive, but uses her intuition for self-interest and manipulation.

Narcissists are extremely dangerous because they lack empathy, and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. Unfortunately, their hearts either did not develop or were closed due to early psychological trauma, such as their upbringing by narcissistic parents, an emotionally and spiritually crippling disability.

(The harm caused by narcissistic parenting is beautifully detailed in Alice Miller’s drama The Gifted Child.) Although difficult to understand, these people have little insight into their actions, and they do not regret it.

To find out if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, ask yourself the following questions from my book, Emotional Freedom.

QUIZ: Am I in a relationship with Narcissi?

Does a person act as if life revolves around him?
Do I have to commend him to get his attention or approval?
Is he constantly talking to himself?
Does he underestimate my feelings or interests?
If different does he catch a cold or withhold?
If you answered “yes” to one or two questions, you are probably dealing with a narcissist. Answering “yes” to three or more questions indicates that the narcissist is violating your emotional freedom.

Narcissists are nuts that are hard to break. With these patients, the best I can do is come to terms with their positive sides and focus on behaviors they agree don’t work. However, even if one wants to change, progress is limited, with little gain.

My professional advice: Don’t fall in love with a narcissist or enjoy delusions that they are capable of the necessary give and take of intimacy. In such relationships, you will always be somewhat emotionally lonely.

If you have a forbidden narcissistic husband, beware of trying to win the care you didn’t get from your parents; It will not happen. Also, don’t expect your sensitivity to be respected. These people adore all the hoops you have to jump through to please them.

If you are trying to break up with a narcissist, use these methods to regain your strength.

  1. Do not fall into their manipulation

They will use every trick in the book to get you back so be prepared. Narcissists are really persuasive. When you’re ready to leave, stick to your convictions and move on to a more positive future filled with true love.

Related: 6 Signs You’re In A Trauma Bond: What You Need To Know About The Trauma Bond And Healing

  1. Set boundaries

Since narcissists have no empathy, nor can they truly love, you should leave them cold and put up with the pain. Set boundaries and say “no” to them and in your heart. Then gather all your strength and keep walking into the unknown towards something better.

  1. Focus on the future

Once you break up with a narcissist, it is very important that you focus all of your positive energy and thoughts on doing things that are good for yourself and the world. Don’t let your mind wander into the past or what it’s doing.

Related: 6 Stages Of Recovering From A Toxic Relationship

  1. Be kind to yourself

Treasure yourself. Be very kind to yourself and know that you deserve a loving relationship with someone who can reciprocate.

My point in life is that everyone we meet along the way, loving or not, aims to help us grow. Don’t pressure yourself to get involved with a narcissist. But please learn what you can benefit from, including setting healthy boundaries and saying “no” to abuse, so you don’t repeat this lesson again. It is very emotionally free to heal any attraction to abusive people so that you can have more true love in your life.