Society assumes that everyone has a conscience and the ability to empathize. Unfortunately, that’s not the case — in fact, it’s estimated that one in 25 people in the United States is a sociopath, according to Harvard psychologist Martha Stout.

Narcissists (those who meet the criteria for “NPD” or Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and their like-minded cousins, sociopaths and psychopaths, speak in a language of “making crazy,” projection, word power, gaslighting, and pathologizing. envy.

While I focus on narcissistic abusers, keep in mind that all three are incapable of empathy for others and often exploit others to advance their own agenda.

If you encounter someone with narcissistic traits, they may fall on the extreme end of the spectrum and be a sociopath or a psychopath.

These pathological individuals walk among us every day in their false masks, often unseen and unnoticed due to their frighteningly normal nature. They can be of any gender, background, and socioeconomic status.

Often, they are charming, charismatic, and the life of the party, able to effortlessly charm their victims and deceive the public.

Related: 17 Disturbing Reasons Why Narcissists Prey On Anxious People

It’s very likely that you have dated or worked with a family member or friend with narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder in your life — even if you didn’t know it at the time.

Learning their emotional language means recognizing that their cruelty is not just explicit but implicit, deeply rooted in the nuances of their facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, and, most importantly, the paradoxical mismatch between their words and actions.

Most importantly, their cruelty is deliberate and designed to control and ultimately destroy their victims.

Manipulating them is psychological, emotionally damaging and very dangerous, especially considering that the brain circuits responsible for emotional and physical pain are the same.

What a victim feels when they are punched in the stomach can be similar to the pain a victim feels when they are verbally and emotionally abused, and the effects of narcissistic abuse can be crippling and long-lasting, even leading to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder.

These types of abusers are masters of manipulation, well-versed in sadism, control and rage – their deliberate cutting of you, what can best be described as “death by a thousand cuts”, can be as slow and cunning as you. He’s fast and wicked.

It is similar to psychological and emotional rape, a vile violation of the boundaries and trust that the victim has given his attacker.

Narcissistic abusers can attack at any moment, using their chosen weapons of sarcasm, condescending remarks, name-calling, and blame shifting when they see you as a threat or when they need entertainment in the form of an emotional reaction.

They can also use their non-verbal language in the form of a sadistic smile, the cold death in their eyes while confessing your love, their bored or scowling look or their cruel laughter to force you to believe that you are inferior to them.

There are three key pieces of information that narcissists frequently gather in the idealization stage of a relationship that they later use against you in the devaluation and ignoring stages using their harsh language.

Here are 3 tricks that an emotional abuser, such as a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath, will use to trick you into a relationship.

1. They use your flaws, imperfections, insecurities, and secrets against you.
   The narcissistic abuser is happy when you share your hurts, struggles, and triggers early on. Then it becomes easier for them to get under your skin and into your mind.

During “love bombing,” you will likely feel so trusting and open with a narcissist that you share everything with him: your past, your sadness, and what you perceive as your flaws.

You may see this as a way to establish rapport, a connection with your partner, and a way to be vulnerable and intimate. The narcissistic abuser sees it as dinner being served on the table.

They will pretend to support and sympathize with you when you initially reveal these things to them, but they will later use it to provoke, belittle and degrade you during the devaluation phase.

Remember: The narcissist has no limits on what he or she will use. Any insecurities you reveal to them will be used against you in the “devaluation” phase.

For a narcissist, any open wound is an invitation to cut deeper, and a narcissist can always cut a deeper wound than the first.

Related: How To Spot A Narcissist With These 9 Behaviors

2. They prey on your strengths and accomplishments
   In the beginning, when you were on a pedestal, the narcissist couldn’t get enough of your strengths and accomplishments. They couldn’t stop raving about you in front of family and friends, bragging about you, treating you like a trophy, an essential part of themselves.

Being associated with you inevitably made them feel superior and important. You have reinforced their false image of being a normal human being who can receive an “award” like you.

In the devaluation stage, the narcissist will literally translate your strengths into perceived flaws. Once upon a time you were “confident and sexy” – but now you are “cocky and conceited” (an obvious projection of yourself, of course). Before, you were “smart and driven”, now you are just a “know-it-all” or “smart”.

They guide you into believing that your worth and value are not real, all while projecting their own sense of inferiority onto you. They will belittle, belittle and ignore what you accomplish, and now act as if it means nothing to them, as if it has little or no significance to the world.

They will feed you lies about your lack of competence and ability. They will claim to be better than you, and at the same time steal your ideas. They will make fun of you and make you believe that you are incapable of doing the smallest tasks, even if you are outside their league on a professional and personal level.

They will threaten to ruin your reputation, and will often sabotage major events as well as support networks you may have, in an attempt to turn everyone against you.

They will trample your dreams, aspirations, beliefs, personality, goals, career, talents, appearance, lifestyle – all while glorifying their own style.

Their sudden shift in language took its toll; It’s shocking, shocking and unexpectedly sinister. Everything they once praised will inevitably turn into a weakness. This is because they cannot afford to “win” and be better than them at something.

For them, everything is a competition and a game that they must win at any cost. They seek to destroy you in every way possible, so that you in turn destroy and sabotage yourself – while they sit back and watch everything you have worked so hard for disintegrate.