When you stop chasing a narcissist, he or she will likely react with intense anger or what is commonly referred to as “narcissistic rage.” This volatile response stems from their deep need for constant admiration and control. The sudden withdrawal of attention threatens their self-perceived superiority and triggers feelings of inadequacy.

Loss of narcissistic supply

When trying to predict how a narcissist will react when you stop chasing them, you must first understand the concept of narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, and validation that the narcissist seeks to stoke his ego and maintain his inflated self-image.

When you chase a narcissist, you provide him with the supplies he craves.
Your constant attention, adoration, and validation serve as fuel to fuel their sense of superiority and grandeur.

Without this external validation, narcissists struggle to maintain their fragile self-esteem.

Therefore, when you stop chasing the narcissist, you are withholding the essential supplies he needs to maintain his inflated self-image.

The loss of interest and validation profoundly affects their self-worth and triggers feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

Unable to get the usual dose of narcissistic supply, the narcissist may react in different ways.

They may become angry or aggressive, seeking to regain control over you and regain their sense of power.

Additionally, they may feel confused and hurt, and not understand why you would choose to back away from your devotion.

Losing narcissistic supply can be devastating for a narcissist, because it exposes their deep-seated fear of being unimportant.

It challenges their belief in their exceptionalism and forces them to confront the fact that they are not as special or superior as they think they are.

In response to this loss, the narcissist will try to manipulate you into resuming the stalking.

They may initially use tactics such as love bombing or levitation, where they shower you with affection and flattery to lure you back into their web.

If that doesn’t work, they may resort to aggression to try to bully you, in the process getting support from your angry reaction.

Attempts at reconciliation

When you stop chasing a narcissist, he or she may use tactics such as love bombing, manipulation, and future faking in an attempt to reconcile and regain control over you.

Recognizing these manipulation tactics can help you maintain your boundaries and make informed choices that prioritize your well-being.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, their response will be love bombing

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic that narcissists often use in their attempts to get you back. It involves showering you with excessive affection, compliments, and expressions of love.

The narcissist will do everything he can to make you feel desired and special, as he tries to recreate the initial infatuation phase in the relationship.

During this stage, the narcissist will shower you with grand gestures, gifts, and acts of kindness that seem genuine.

Love bombing aims to overwhelm you emotionally, making it difficult to resist their advances.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, he or she will react to the hoover

Hoovering is a term often used to describe a narcissist’s attempts to “bring you back” into his life after you have withdrawn your attention and validation. Just like a vacuum cleaner, they will try to bring you back into their dysfunctional dynamic.

Hoovering can take different forms, depending on the narcissist and the nature of your relationship.

One common manifestation of wandering is them suddenly calling you, sometimes after a long period of silence or no contact.

The narcissist may message or contact you, seem concerned about your safety or want to reconnect with you.

They will use tactics such as nostalgia, reminding you of positive moments in your past relationship, or bringing up feelings of guilt and obligation.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, his or her response will be future faking

Another tactic narcissists use is faking the future. This involves the narcissist making promises and commitments about a better future together, often using the allure of a shared vision or goal to lure you back into his web.

They may discuss plans for a future life together, career advancement, trips, or even marriage and children.

Future fakery preys on your hopes and desires, preying on your vulnerability and your longing for a meaningful and secure relationship. The narcissist uses these promises as a way to regain your trust and investment in the relationship.

Devaluation and ego protection

If the above manipulation tactics prove ineffective, the narcissist will likely escalate his efforts, and use more aggressive strategies to try to force you to resume your role as a source of validation and admiration.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, he will react with insults and verbal abuse

As the narcissist intensifies his efforts to lure you back into his toxic web, he will likely resort to tactics such as insults and verbal abuse.

They may criticize your appearance, intelligence, or abilities in an attempt to make you feel inferior and superior.

Their comments can be overtly hurtful or subtly insulting, but the end goal is always the same: to lower your self-esteem and make you more vulnerable to their manipulation.

The narcissist uses these insults as a form of psychological warfare, aiming to sow doubt in your self-worth and make you feel dependent on their approval.

By doing this, they hope to force you to seek their validation again, thus restoring their narcissistic stock.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, he or she will react to gaslighting

Gaslighting involves the narcissist manipulating your perception of reality, leading you to question your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

By creating confusion and doubt, the narcissist aims to undermine your self-confidence and independence, making you more likely to rely on them for validation and truth.

Gaslighting can take many different forms, from outright denial of events to subtle shifts in the narrative that favor the narcissist.

The ultimate goal is to destabilize your sense of reality and make you feel uncertain and insecure, thus increasing your vulnerability to their manipulation.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, their response will be to abuse by proxy and unleash “flying monkeys.”

When a narcissist’s attempts at manipulation and devaluation fail to bring you back into their network, they may resort to a tactic known as proxy abuse.

One way narcissists carry out abuse by proxy is by unleashing what are colloquially known as “flying monkeys.”

Derived from the followers of the Wicked Witch in “The Wizard of Oz,” the term refers to individuals who are manipulated by narcissists to do their bidding.

These flying monkeys could be mutual friends, family members, or even professional contacts who the narcissist convinces to side with you against you.

They may be fed false information, distorted narratives, or half-truths to paint the narcissist in a sympathetic light and you as the aggressor or at fault.

The flying monkeys will then act on behalf of the narcissist, indirectly perpetuating the narcissist’s abuse towards you.

This can manifest as these individuals attacking your character, questioning your actions, or trying to convince you to reconcile with the narcissist.

The goal is to isolate you, damage your other relationships, and increase your vulnerability, making you more vulnerable to the narcissist’s control.

When you stop chasing a narcissist, he or she will react aggressively

If all else fails to force you to resume your role as a source of narcissistic supply, the narcissist may resort to more aggressive strategies.

This may involve threats, intimidation, or even physical assault in extreme cases, all in an attempt to regain control and re-establish a source of narcissistic validation.

The goal is to instill fear and uncertainty, making you more vulnerable to their manipulative ways and forcing you back into the role of their admirer.

It is essential to prioritize your safety in these situations, and seek help from the authorities or support networks when necessary.

Concluding thoughts

When you stop chasing a narcissist, he or she will respond with intense anger, attempts at reconciliation, and, in some cases, aggression, as he attempts to re-establish the source of validation for his narcissism.