One of the main behaviors of a narcissist is a pattern of neglect and devaluation. They will shower you with attention and praise one moment, then suddenly ignore you the next, often without explanation or closure. This may leave you feeling confused, hurt, and betrayed. But ironically, the situation also negatively affects the narcissist, and one of the most puzzling aspects of the situation is the fact that the narcissist feels anxious after getting rid of you.

This concern is not a manifestation of concern or sympathy for you; Rather, it is a reflection of their own fears, anxieties, and needs.

Let’s delve deeper into this aspect of narcissistic behavior.

Fear of exposure

Narcissists, by nature, are very concerned about their public image. They painstakingly craft an ideal personality that exudes success, strength, and attractiveness.

This façade is vital to their self-esteem and sense of worth.

However, it is just a facade.

Underneath lies a highly insecure individual, suffering from feelings of inadequacy and fear of criticism.

When a narcissist ignores their partner, they often feel anxious about possible exposure. I was close to them, and I saw what was behind the mask.

I witnessed their manipulative ways, their disregard for other people’s feelings, and their inability to show true empathy.

If you reveal these facts to others, it may shatter their carefully constructed image.

This fear of exposure can cause significant anxiety after the narcissist has been dumped.

Anxiety about losing narcissistic supply

Narcissists are emotionally dependent on others to an unhealthy degree.
This dependence stems from their need for “narcissistic display” – a term that refers to the attention, admiration, and emotional reaction they seek from those around them.

This display is crucial because it validates their inflated self-perception and satisfies their insatiable need for validation and superiority.

When a narcissist goes through the process of detoxification, he or she is essentially cutting ties with an important source of their narcissism.

This can cause a great deal of anxiety and worry. After all, they have just lost a reliable source of the adulation they crave and feel they deserve.

The narcissist is concerned about whether he will be able to find a new source of narcissistic supply that is as fulfilling or “profitable” as the one he eliminated.

They may also fear that the new source will not be easily manipulated or will not be willing to tolerate their abusive behavior, which could lead to a potential deficiency in their narcissistic stock.

Furthermore, the process of developing a new source of supply takes time and effort.

They need to charm and ensnare someone new, establishing the same level of control and influence they have over you. This process may not always go smoothly, which adds to narcissists’ fears.

This means that if the narcissist dumps you without securing a new source of supply, he or she may experience a period of “supply drought.” This period can make them feel vulnerable and vulnerable, which increases their anxiety.

Fear of abandonment

Narcissists thrive on the power they exert over their partners. They manipulate emotions, perceptions, and actions to maintain a tight grip on the relationship.

However, when they get rid of you, they are voluntarily giving up that control, which can cause significant worry and anxiety.

Here lies the irony – even though they are the ones who broke things off, they are afraid of losing control of you and the relationship.

When a narcissist ignores you, he or she also faces the prospect of moving on.

The idea of finding happiness without them, or worse, with someone else, can be very unsettling for them.

Even though they have begun the process of eliminating waste, they fear the idea of being replaced or forgotten, which fuels their fear of abandonment.

Regret and re-idealization

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self and rarely admit to making mistakes. However, after getting rid of them, they may sometimes experience flashes of remorse.

They may wonder if they were too hasty to get rid of you or if they were foolish in giving up a valuable source of narcissistic supply.

Despite this apparent self-doubt, it is important to remember that this remorse is often more due to a loss of control and validation than any real remorse for their actions.

In fact, one of the hallmarks of narcissistic behavior is the idealization-devaluation-disregarding cycle.

But what follows neglect can often be a stage of re-idealization.

During this stage, the narcissist may begin to romanticize the relationship, easily forgetting how he hurt you and the fact that he rejected you.

They only remember the good times, the moments when you were an abundant source of their narcissistic stock.

This re-idealization can cause great anxiety for narcissists.

They may fear they have lost someone who understands and meets their needs.

The thought of moving on and not being available for manipulation can trigger anxiety and exacerbate their fear of abandonment.

Concluding thoughts about why a narcissist worries after getting rid of you

Navigating the treacherous waters of a relationship with a narcissist is a difficult endeavor, made all the more complicated by the puzzling behavior he displays after being dumped.

Understanding why a narcissist becomes anxious after dumping you is the key to deciphering his actions and motivations.

Narcissists thrive on control, validation, and maintaining a perfect public image. Ironically, getting rid of you threatens all of these aspects.

They lose control of you and your narrative, cut off an important source of their narcissistic supply, and risk exposure and potential damage to their carefully crafted personality.

In understanding a narcissist’s post-disposal fears, it is important to remember that their fears stem from their insecurities and need for control and validation.

Ultimately, the narcissist’s fears after getting rid of you reveal more about his inner turmoil and less about your value.

It is a testament to their inability to form authentic, empathetic relationships, and a reflection of their deepest fears and insecurities.

So, if you find yourself ostracized by a narcissist, remember that their fears are not a burden for you to bear. Your focus should be on your own healing and growth, beyond the shadow of the narcissist’s influence.