Coercion. confusion. Perceived insanity. When the person closest to you does everything in their power to make you believe that your basic instincts, feelings, and reason are wrong, how can you continue to trust anything at all?

Gaslighting in relationships can be one of the most difficult experiences a person can face.

In this article, we discuss gaslighting – what it is, why it happens, why people turn to gaslighting, and strategies for escaping these manipulative relationships.

Understanding gaslighting

What is gaslighting?

The term gaslighting comes from the 1938 play known as Gaslight, in which a husband slowly convinces his wife that she is crazy by dimming gas lights and denying that he dimmed them.

Related : 18 signs of a condescending person (and how to deal with them)

While gaslighting can be observed in all types of relationships — the business relationship between employer and employee, the parental relationship between parent and child, or even the communal relationship between a politician and his or her constituents — gaslighting is perhaps most serious when observed in a romantic relationship.

For gaslighting to occur, there must be a strict power dynamic in the relationship: one person with more power and one person with less power.

This is why gaslighting is commonly seen in employer-employee and parent-child relationships, as a power dynamic is inherent in the attachment.

But for a romantic partnership, manipulation can be difficult to notice and acknowledge, since there is an assumed equal power dynamic between the two partners.

But a power imbalance is essential to the gaslighting process, which partly explains why it occurs in romantic partnerships: one partner assumes power over the other, without directly taking it.

But what exactly is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that strips the victim of feelings of reason and stability through slow, calculated manipulation. Gas lighting has three main characteristics and purposes:

1) Undermining the weaker partner: The victim partner is undermined in various ways – his feelings, beliefs, and even the facts he observes are “wrong,” making him question his sanity.

2) Strategic Intent: There is strategic intent in how the gaslighter operates, withdrawing and apologizing enough to further confuse the victim. They know when to stop and when to continue for maximum effect

3) Manipulating reality through denial and confusion: There is an emphasis on manipulation in the arsonist’s tactics, but the goal is simply to confuse, making it more difficult to identify the victim because there is no clear direction.

Learn about gaslighting

Gaslighting can be difficult to identify. The best opportunity for a victim to recognize gaslighting is in its early stages, as this is before the distortion of reality and psychological and emotional abuse.

But seeing the early stages as they happen can be nearly impossible.

You may be reluctant to admit that your partner’s negative behavior is a sign of something as serious as manipulation, or you may think it’s a normal part of any relationship.

Here are some signs that you are suffering from gaslighting:

-You often wonder if you are a worthy partner

– You no longer trust yourself with even the simplest decisions, and you often tell your partner little white lies because you fear you will be ridiculed for the truth.

-You have a confusing feeling that something is wrong in the relationship but you can’t pinpoint it

-You lie to your friends and family about your partner’s behavior

-You don’t remember the last time you were truly happy

-You find yourself constantly apologizing for things you don’t understand

-You feel lost, crazy, confused, and emotionally undeveloped, especially during arguments

-You constantly ask yourself: “Am I too much of a child?” Am I too sensitive?”

All of these feelings revolve around one theme: questioning your basic reality; Your mind, your instincts, and your feelings.

When you don’t feel like you can trust your mind, you have completely lost yourself to your partner.

Define gaslighting in the relationship: gaslighting or…

It’s important to understand that not all negative behavior in a relationship has to be attributed to gaslighting.

The more you understand the differences between gaslighting and other negative behaviors that may occur in romantic relationships, the more accurately and quickly you will be able to address whether or not your partner is gaslighting you.

Manipulation: While manipulation plays a major role in gaslighting, manipulation itself should not be confused with gaslighting. Manipulation can be considered simply influence, that is, influencing someone to do or believe something. There must be an intention to seize power over that person through influence; When this happens, manipulation progresses to gaslighting.

– Narcissism: Narcissism is more of a personality disorder, while gaslighting is active behavior. The narcissist may come off as a jerk who repels people but will pull them back in when they feels the need to fill the narcissistic void. He does this simply because he feels this is the right way to act in a relationship.

• Obsessive attachment: Many victims like to believe that their gaslighting partner is “too attached” to them, which is why their behavior may seem a bit extreme. To know the difference, you have to notice the way they treat you on the first date. Have you been bombarded with love, where they talk negatively about others in their life, but their love bombard you? This is the first step in any gas relationship.
• General bad behavior: People in bad relationships may start to see gaslighting in everything their partner does, but how do you know the difference between general bad behavior and a case of true gaslighting? Simple: Try to see if there is a pattern of negative behavior. Is it the same pattern over and over, or is there something more chaotic about it? Gas workers work in patterns, whether they realize it or not.

what should be done? Know your self-worth

I get it.

This advice seems so obvious and trite.

Related : 15 signs they’re a secret hater (and not a true friend)

But to protect yourself from relationship manipulation, you have to work on the most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life – the one you have with yourself.

For many people, being on the other side of gaslighting is a negative reflection of their self-worth.