The abandonment stage of a narcissistic relationship is the most worrisome. Not because you’re about to dump them for good.

Rather, it’s the moment when you have to make a decision.

Do you beg and plead with them to try again, fearing loneliness or breaking out of this cycle of addiction?

Or…

Do you take the time to break free for good?

I hope these three words a narcissist uses before abandoning you help you find a solution.

Letting Go? You’ve Been There

I have no doubt you’ve been there at some point. Given the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship, this cycle eventually hits you at the abandonment stage.

Related : 8 Weird Things Narcissists Do While Travelling

Letting-go can be a difficult experience, not least because you’re seeing a very toxic side of the narcissist, who, for the first time, is eager to show you their true colors instead of hiding them as usual. It’s painful, to be sure. But it’s no more painful than what you’ve endured throughout your time with them.

What does “letting going” actually mean, and what does it look like?

Narcissistic ExitStrategy

Dumping is a narcissist’s way of abruptly pushing you away. They can do this by directing hurtful words at you, making you feel worse about yourself than you already do, insulting you, mocking you, criticizing you, and belittling you.

It can even feel like the silent treatment, or worse: ignoring you.

Ignoring without explanation is the worst part. People can be driven mad by the lack of answers, or the lack of closure, but hopefully you know at this point: closure can come from you.

The lack of an answer is the answer you need.

So, the exit strategy is clear in the narcissist’s mind.

They want to get out, or they want attention. You’ve become too much for them with your good, caring, and intimate desires.

You’re a burden to them, and they can’t stand having you around them for another moment.

Maybe you’ve discovered their true colors, and they need to end it immediately.

Or maybe, like their children, they just want attention.

Whatever the reason, this exit strategy is waiting to happen.

Three_Little_Words…

That’s why you came here, so here it is:

I deserve better.

Can you believe a narcissist would have the nerve to say those words to you, after everything you’ve been through?

Related : 7 Things That Instantly Make a Narcissist Weak

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but they do it as a final insult before they leave.

And it’s meant to be a phrase that sticks in your mind and never gets old. They want you to think about it at 2 a.m. when you can’t sleep. They feel it’s time for you to recognize who they are as a fact, not as a last-ditch attempt to manipulate you.

But as you know, as with narcissists, there’s an ulterior motive.

When they say “better,” they mean…

Easier to manipulate.

That’s right.

You’re not actually someone they can find a better version of; you’re just someone who no longer bends to the rules of this narcissistic game.

They want some kind of compensation, so they blame you for growing up and recognizing their toxic traits. Now you’re the problem because they’ve reached a point where they can no longer do what they want to you.

It’s good that you’re not easily manipulated. It proves that you’ve transcended the tired narrative that what they say is true.

You’ve now reached a true starting point in your life, so I think this is a winning quote. You just have to look at it that way instead of letting it wear you down.

Blame_Last_Sentence

This is what all narcissists are made for, and what they’re good at.

Blame is something they’ve been accustomed to for as long as they’ve been with you, so it’s no wonder they leave the stage so dramatically with this one.

In reality, you deserve better. You’ve had to deal with their bullshit for so long, and you’re way behind in a healthy, loving relationship.

This might feel like just getting to know yourself again, or someone new.

And what about getting rid of it? It’s a blessing in disguise, but I understand that at first, the narcissist might seem like they’re rejecting you.

In reality, they’re not.

They’re really rejecting the version of you that doesn’t tolerate their ploy.

That’s a good thing!

Why This Phrases Hurt – But It Also Reveals Their True Personality

You’re not human if hearing “I deserve better” doesn’t sting a little, but you need to get to the bottom of the narcissist’s true desire to hurt you.

Related : 6 Proofs You Have Made The Narcissist Suffer

Assuming it’s because you’re a bad person is exhausting, but it fits with the low self-esteem they’ve imposed on you during your time together.

But dig deeper? Oh my! You’ll find the truth.

The narcissist wants you to feel the pain they feel. They try to inflict it on you, like an emotional hand grenade.

They don’t want to bear the burden, the emotional damage, or the threat to their image.

They have no choice but to bring you down in pain, because they—not them—want you.

So what can you learn here about the true character of the narcissist?

Is they someone you’d really want to be with?

Do you feel you could love and trust someone like that for the rest of your life?

No, and no.

So, getting rid of them is a good thing.

WhatToSay (orNotSay) When You Hear “I Deserve Better”

Well, it’s a good idea to let them say what they want without yelling or even raising your voice.

Don’t beg them to be better if they stayed.

Don’t tell them you did your best.

Instead, the best thing you can do is respond calmly and coolly:

We both know you’re wrong.

Refuse to dwell on it any further and let the negligent person end the toxic relationship you once thought was the answer to all your prayers.

It wasn’t, and it never will be. It was the beginning of your erosion of character, and the narcissist was responsible for it all.

Related : 7 Times When Narcissists Accidentally Speak The Truth

They were so frustrated with themselves that they were actually confronting their own insecurities, and they wanted you to feel better around them.

And that’s how they got you there. From someone who wouldn’t hurt a fly to someone who would do anything to make it work, including surrendering to the narcissist’s power and control.

But surprise! This life wasn’t meant for you, and now you have the opportunity to put an end to this negligent person.

You can start over, and you’ll never be tempted to return to the person who made your life so hollow and gray.