Narcissists constantly analyze the people they meet, looking for signs of insecurity, a desire to please, vulnerability, cooperation, and, most importantly, outward signs of shyness.
A person who embodies shyness, whether in a healthy and genuine way or a toxic one, is open to influence. They cooperate with and respond to external stimuli and are willing to share power.
When one narcissist encounters another, they become enraged. Narcissists don’t display the traits mentioned above. Two narcissists in a social group are usually identified when they sit at opposite ends of a table, staring coldly at each other, or when they begin competing for dominance by trying to gain allies or “win” the conversation.
Narcissists are alert and aware. They react, make intense eye contact, and are always looking for situations where they can influence and control. Even covert narcissists find ways to attract attention in subtle ways. In contrast, the average person typically seeks connection, acceptance, and contribution to the group.
While the social “game” unfolds among those with a healthy sense of shame, narcissists recognize each other and quietly vie for dominance while avoiding one another. Sometimes one wins, and the other capitulates. The losing narcissist does so by withdrawing, moving to another part of the room, or placing physical objects between themselves and the others.
In other instances, one narcissist triumphs by subjugating the other. They do this by humiliating them and asserting their dominance, and the two narcissists begin to cooperate as a hierarchical unit designed to achieve narcissistic gratification.
