To be honest, ending a relationship with a narcissist isn’t very easy. However, ending a narcissistic relationship is important if you want to live a happy, rational life.

To achieve this goal, it is essential to know the steps to leaving an abusive relationship. Let’s find out how to end an abusive relationship and how to leave a narcissistic relationship.

the main points

Leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time for the victim, as when the abuser fears they are losing control.
Although people with NPD are not abusers, if the abuser has narcissistic traits, they may be able to abuse after a breakup.
Taking steps to protect yourself can help reduce the impact of their retaliation while helping to keep you safe.
Few breakups are painless, but the cognitive dissonance of preparing to end an abusive relationship can feel liberating yet overwhelming and overwhelming.

Some survivors wonder if leaving was the right choice or if they were just imagining all these strange, toxic, senseless events. During these moments of self-doubt many victims make the mistake of assuming their abuser will act rationally.

When they assume they are dealing with a rational person, they usually end up with a poor willingness to protect themselves during a breakup with someone who is irrational and lacks empathy.

They have no way of knowing what to expect from their ex, who can blind them to even more abusive behavior like revenge for leaving, and abuse that is often far worse than anything that happened during the relationship itself.

Related: How A Narcissist Looks At Life And You

Psychological or narcissistic abuse seems preposterous and far-fetched to those who have not experienced it first-hand. Others are unable to imagine someone treating another human being with such cruelty and often assume that the victims must be exaggerating.

Going through any breakup is stressful enough, and many people go through periods of sadness or even depression.

But victims of psychological abuse often cannot take the time to work through their grief. They have to stand up for themselves against an angry ex to get revenge on them for leaving.

When a breakup happens with someone with a personality disorder, such as narcissism, it often leaves you paying for every mistake you made tenfold: “The ultimate grudge-holder, a narcissist never forgives or forgets. He always remembers how he was outdone or humiliated, and that’s just it.” He fuels the fire with his vindictiveness” (Streep, 2018).

This is why deciding to leave an unsafe relationship requires more than just leaving: Victims need to make the necessary plans to do so safely.

Safety planning

When working with clients preparing to leave, we work together to create an individual safety plan. While your security plan may look somewhat different, here are some key things to consider as you prepare to leave.

Protect all living things first and foremost.
Protect children, dependents, family members who live in the home or depend on you, and animals and other living creatures that may be involved.

Consider their needs: What do they need to stay safe? Do they have a place for you to go, and have custody and other legal aspects taken into account? Consult legal professionals when it comes to child custody.

It’s becoming increasingly common to have custody battles over shared pets or animals, so make copies of adoption papers, vet bills, or other documents to prepare.

Related: MY CLOSURE from a Narcissist

Next, protect important personal belongings.
Focus specifically on items you need, such as passports, copies of medical documents, and immigration or legal papers.

Someone who wants to hurt you may be targeting the things you love or need most, so protect everything your partner knows is valuable to you: sentimental items, titles for your car, etc.

Next, here are some reminders of the planning steps that victims often overlook during their attempts to leave.

A 20-point checklist for ending a relationship with a narcissist
Put checkmarks as you go, or continue tracking in a separate list:

Change the passwords for any of your email accounts.
Make copies of home deeds and mortgage statements or any joint assets.
Changing beneficiaries from 401Ks, IRAs, life insurance, etc., if they can legally do so.
Change social media passwords and delete or unfollow them. Moreover, do not post anything about her or the relationship on your social media.
Revoke access to credit cards or bank accounts if legal. If your economic situation is closely intertwined with your partner’s, such as joint accounts, you may want to consult an attorney.
If you are able, take cash from the bank and put it somewhere safe.

Change door locks, and if you can financially, change wooden doors to steel or another material that won’t break easily.
Put the locks on the windows.
Change passwords for all online banking services for personal accounts.
Check and re-check your credit report every year. There are many websites online that offer free annual reports. Partners often know each other’s Social Security numbers, and many of my clients have had previous credit cards open or new accounts, destroying their credit.
Remove your ex from any joint accounts, such as Amazon, Uber, etc.

Block your ex on cash apps, like PayPal and Venmo, so they can’t see your transactions.
Change your phone lock screen.
Create a password with a friend who they can call or text in an emergency.
If possible, consider installing a home security system.
Tell the neighbors what’s going on, so they can keep an eye out for anything suspicious.
Get in the habit of keeping your car’s gas tank at least half full.
Unless there are children involved, you may want to change your phone number.

Change your way to work and other places you frequent.
Make a list of emergency numbers and keep them visible, perhaps taped to a locker. Include the police, the nearest domestic violence shelter, or any friends or family who can help. This will help all family members find this information when needed in a crisis.

Safety planning

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