How To Identify A Narcissist: 9 Common Traits of Narcissism

There is an epidemic of narcissistic behavior in many cultures around the world. Currently, “narcissism” is one of the buzzwords on social media. However, not many people know what the traits of a narcissist are.

Many people fail to recognize a narcissist when they first encounter them. And by the time they realize they are already a huge mess. The fault is not yours and not your stars!

Fake and false news spreads faster than viruses on social media. It’s no wonder why there are some serious misconceptions about narcissism, even though it’s such a viral topic. There are some people who overuse the term “narcissist” without knowing the basics. This psychic ability is the same as people posting “feeling depressed” on Facebook when they are actually “feeling sad.” Also know that most (if not all) show some narcissistic tendencies but being a narcissist is something different.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a clinically diagnosed mental health condition. People with this disorder are not just selfish or selfish, there is more to this personality disorder. Narcissists are champions at disguising their true selves and using elaborate lies and manipulative tactics to subdue you.

The effects of narcissism are not obvious to many people. People with NPD have a brutal and vindictive nature! It is really worth knowing the traits of a narcissist so that you can avoid dating or dealing with them on a personal or professional level. Only by building awareness of the traits of narcissism can you prevent the damage narcissists cause and stop the ongoing trauma. In the long run, this will strengthen all levels of society.

Here are 9 traits of narcissism:

  1. Projection as a defense mechanism
    Of the 9 traits of narcissism, projection is the most common. This is a psychological trick that narcissists use to manipulate you into doing their bidding. Whatever they have in mind they try to attribute to others.

For example, if narcissistic people are criticizing themselves (either unconsciously or consciously) for something, they may believe that others are criticizing them, too. Likewise, if they are cheating on their partners, they will accuse their partners of cheating. Essentially, these expectations are the result of the narcissist’s vulnerabilities and vulnerabilities.

Also, they tend to act overly mischievous, sensitive, or defensive, when someone says anything about them. This is also because some narcissists have low self-esteem and their self-esteem depends on what other people think of them. The moment they feel psychologically threatened, they tend to engage in the mental process, of projection.

While projecting, the narcissist may deny their insecurities, flaws, and fears and easily blame others for their misfortunes. They hardly consider stepping back to get a new perspective or standing in someone else’s shoes.

Read :Breaking Free: The Ultimate Checklist for Ending a Relationship With a Narcissist

  1. Gaslighting to control others
    This psychological weapon is the highest rated of the nine traits of narcissism. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse designed to intentionally feed others’ suspicions and gain more power over them. It involves techniques such as contradiction, blocking, stalling, or diverting.

When you bring up a topic related to your relationship with your narcissistic partner, they may in turn bring up something you did or said years ago. This is just to make a big fuss and divert your mind from the actual problem at hand. They may also describe your actions and intentions as some kind of conspiracy against them.

Manipulating narcissists may include the following-

They may confirm that you did or said things that you did not do
View your beliefs, feelings, behavior, and state of mind in a negative sense to others
Classify yourself as “sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your needs in a relationship
Retell events or misrepresent facts to blame yourself
Disapproval or derision when you try to recall facts or events that happened by saying things like – “This never happened”
Always insist that they are right and you are wrong

If you are dealing with a narcissist, it is likely that –

You feel totally confused
Question your perception of reality
I apologize for any mistake you and
Be tense and unhappy.

  1. Lack of empathy for others
    These are the three of the nine traits of narcissism and well define the characteristics of a narcissist. Narcissists lack courtesy and empathy. They cannot tune in to the emotions, experiences, and feelings of others. Narcissists are motivated by the attitude – “I’m on my own.”

They are selfish and ruthless enough to breach other people’s personal boundaries. Humiliating people or belittling them is normal for them. When you talk to them, it’s mostly like a one-way discussion. When you try to share your opinions, ideas, or problems, narcissists will lose their minds. They are on cloud nine when people bow to their desires.

  1. Use of manipulative tactics
    This is one of the main traits of narcissism and a major red flag that you should stop associating with these people. Narcissists are very selfish and can go to any lengths to turn things around in their favour. They can twist the truth in a way that fits their narrative, and in the end, you’re the one going crazy. Getting attention, status, and validation is their ultimate priority. Therefore, they do not bother to lie, cheat, offend and what someone else costs.

Narcissists are so good at manipulating people that you will easily fall into their relationship trap (especially if you are naive). And while you are dealing with them, it is difficult to realize that you are being manipulated. After losing some precious years of your life, you have realized that you are a victim of narcissism.

  1. Displaying an unrealistic sense of superiority

This really cannot be missed, when discussing the traits of a narcissistic person. The word for this hallmark of narcissism is grandiosity. Narcissistic people try to express themselves as superior and as a great human being. They will exaggerate their skills, talents, possessions, experiences, and accomplishments and want to appear as the perfect person on earth.

They have an extraordinary sense of self-importance and that everything in this world belongs to them. They thrive on the need to be liked. You will continue to see this swagger, arrogance, and sense of entitlement, even if they become a leader, rich, or famous and recognized around the world. Maintaining a false image of greatness is one of the main personality traits of a narcissist.

Read : What Happens When You Finally End Up Abandoning A Narcissist

  1. Don’t take responsibility for anything
    Whether it is in work, relationships, or personal life, narcissists never take responsibility for their failures, mistakes, or any kind of wrongdoing. Narcissists are professionals at shifting blame! When it comes to accepting their flaws, narcissists will leave no stone unturned to take that away from you.

They always have fantastic excuses and justifications to prove that they are innocent, rational, good, and maybe even God. They will always have the last word and will try to win the argument. Being barely able to recognize the fine line between responsibility and blame, narcissists end up avoiding both.

  1. Prepare for control freak tendencies
    This is another red flag if you are dealing with or dating a narcissist. The deep desire to control everything (environment, friends, spouse, co-workers, neighbors, etc.) is one of the most frustrating traits of narcissism. They want to control and dictate you, while they are less interested in different aspects of your life.

Partners in a relationship with a narcissist often mistake love for controlling or protective. What then? You will not have any privacy or personal space. Other than closely monitoring your whereabouts like CCTV, narcissistic people will also monitor your belongings, personal text messages, and call logs.

If you are not allowed to make independent decisions in a relationship, think for yourself, have too many restrictions imposed on you, or are criticized for your actions and behaviors, then you are associated with a control freak.

  1. Emotionally cold behavior in relationships
    If you have a narcissistic boyfriend or husband, they will never comfort you in times of distress, because they are emotionally distant. When you need it most, they may turn their backs or respond in a cold manner. Driven by a need for self-protection, narcissists are unable to love or connect emotionally with others.

Even when you’re screaming at your lungs, expressing your deepest fears or unmet needs, they may slam the door in your face. This situation may make you even more desperate to get that affection, connection, and love from your partner. But in vain! Being emotionally cold is one of the nine narcissistic traits you should know about if you are truly in love with a narcissist.

  1. Cheating in romantic relationships

Narcissists lack empathy and are emotionally cold, so they do not feel remorse or guilt while engaging in infidelity. This is actually the cumulative effect of all of the above narcissistic traits. Even if they appear to be dependent on their partner, this is not an emotional, but rather a need for sexual gratification.

When you are in a relationship with a grandiose narcissist, you will be denied mutual love, affection, support, or care. You always serve them and tire your mind, body and soul. No matter how loyal or dedicated you are as a life partner, they will cheat on you to satisfy their need for admiration, excitement, and novelty.

Read : Why It’s So Hard To Trust Again After A Toxic Relationship

Now that you understand what the nine traits of narcissism are, there is one more thing you need to know. Female narcissists exist! However, narcissistic personality disorder is outwardly recognizable in men.

Are narcissists different from females?

Although there are 9 traits of narcissism mentioned above in both men and women, there are differences in their way of displaying narcissism. Check out the differences between the traits of a narcissistic man and woman.

  1. The narcissistic man tries to control you through the use of his power and status, while the narcissistic woman tries to control you through the use of neglect or guilt.
  2. When angry, male narcissists (or malignant narcissists to be more specific) display aggressiveness, while narcissistic ones tend to punish the victim by withholding affection and attention.
  1. Narcissistic Presentation For narcissistic males it is their romantic partners and for narcissistic women, it could be their partner or children

Other than the nine traits of narcissism, there are a few other narcissistic female personality traits that you should know about (if you want to avoid dating or engaging with them for any purpose).