Narcissistic verbal abuse is powerful. A gifted narcissist can overwhelm your client and then spin around very quickly before they realize what has happened. Somehow, the narcissist has convinced them that what is happening is in fact wrong and that the verbal assaults are actually your client’s fault.
For this reason, verbal abuse is a favorite tactic of narcissists. He intimidates the target very quickly and proves his dominance and superiority at the same time. The attack usually catches the target by surprise and thus ensures victory. All this is done in order to control and manipulate the person into doing something.
Related : THE TOXIC & EXHAUSTING RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN AN EMPATH AND A NARCISSIST
The pattern is similar whether the narcissist is a spouse, parent, employer, coach, manager, or preacher. It is initially secretive, is rare, is mild in tone with minimal use of offensive language, and is sometimes followed by a perfunctory apology. It then escalates to public humiliation, becoming more repetitive, blaming the victim, and being overly verbal with denial about the offensive words.
Narcissists use the volume and tone of their voices to unconsciously achieve dominance. They do this through two extremes. One way is to increase the volume by yelling, screaming, and getting angry. The second is equally effective through complete silence, ignoring, and refusing to respond. Their tone replicates the abuse by combining rudeness and bravado.
Words have meaning beyond their definition. For the narcissist, words are used to instill fear, intimidation, manipulation, oppression, and restrictions. Insulting and threatening language comes easily to the narcissist when the person refuses to do what he wants. But if the victim tries to use the same tactic, the narcissistic verbal abuse will escalate.
The narcissist’s speech style is argumentative, competitive, sarcastic, and demanding. They will often interrupt someone, overtalk them, withhold basic information, bully and question. Often the verbal assault comes so quickly that the victim does not have the time or energy to fight point by point. This is exactly what they want.
Mixed in with the assault will be personal attacks such as insults, sarcastic responses, denigration of character, berating feelings, and judging opinions. To add to the confusion, the narcissist will mix some truth with a lot of criticism. This method of condemnation makes the victim feel inferior and defeated.
The narcissist will do anything to avoid embarrassment, including getting defensive over minor infractions by blocking and deflecting casual comments. Their self-inflated perception is so skewed that they often accuse the victim of making them look bad. When they feel attacked, they refuse to take responsibility, become hostile, invalidate or dismiss feelings, lie, and easily forget promises or commitments.
Narcissists are masters of the blame game; Anything that goes wrong is the other person’s fault. They accuse the victim of being overly sensitive, overly critical of others’ reactions, their “individual” feelings and conflicting opinions. In essence, the victim is responsible for the negative situation in which he finds himself.
Related : What Causes Friendship Jealousy—And What To Do About It
Sample sayings include: I’m criticizing for your own good. I was only joking when I said that. If you were doing that, I wouldn’t have to be that way. You don’t know how to take a joke. The problem with you is, This (verbal abuse) didn’t It really happens.
As a result of verbal abuse, the victim feels they can never win, are always wrong, lose self-esteem and self-confidence, constantly walk on eggshells, fear their reaction, and feel embarrassed by their actions. behavior.
Your client won’t go crazy. Verbal abuse is real and can leave a person confused and frustrated. Be careful not to agree to anything the narcissist insists on during verbal abuse. Wait at least 24 hours before making any decision and seek outside advice. It is not necessary to jump through every hoop the narcissist requires.
