I sat down to write an article about the most common and common behaviors that turn men off. For all the complaining we do about men, we women pull our weight in the rejection department. While every man is different, here are, in no particular order, some common things that turn men off.
- Being stressed and negative
People who fall into the categories of disaffected, overly critical, unappreciative, and overly conservative not only turn men off, they raise big red flags.
Hey, Negative Nancy! Don’t talk about your problems all the time; We’ve got it all. If you criticize the wine he orders, the color of his shirt, and the sound his nose makes when he breathes, it will easily make people around you feel uncomfortable and insecure. Men also don’t want to be your only source of happiness. They want a woman who has a life of their own. If your cup is always half empty, he will eventually stop trying to fill your cup.
Be more appreciative of the positives in your life and the things he does for you. He wants to make you happy, so he does things to please you – fixes the sink, takes you to dinner, buys you gifts… and now you’ve come to expect it. no! You’re a lucky woman, and you should tell him that.
Drama queens and materialism
Arguing, sulking, tantrums, tears. An overly emotional woman is unattractive and stressful. Furthermore, a woman who wants the most expensive wine, will only wear designer clothes, and will not date anything less than a Mercedes Benz is kind of disgusting. Men want to win your heart with their humor, charisma, and kindness, not their money.
When you’re negative and uptight, you generally create a negative environment that will quickly turn men off and create discomfort.
- Lack of morals
This can include a lack of basic hygiene and politeness, and smoking or swearing on the first date before knowing if he is okay with these behaviors. Dirty drunks aren’t attractive either. Chew with your mouth closed, a napkin in your lap, be gracious in serving people, and say please and thank you. Fortunately, none of these things are difficult to achieve if you consider respecting the people and environment around you.
Until you know what’s in your wheelhouse, leave the potty mouth and other “funky habits” at home.
When it comes to having a conversation, bringing up your ex or other controversial topics is incredibly rude. When you constantly talk negatively about your ex, it screams that you have unresolved feelings. You’re stuck in your story, you’re not ready to move on, and it’s causing a huge commotion.
- Untrustworthy
Playing, lying and gossiping
These are all terrible things you can do to your partner or on a date. If she talks badly to people, or betrays their secrets, he will wonder what bad things she could say about him too.
In addition, never pretend to be someone else. Even if it’s something as simple as laughing at a joke you didn’t actually find funny, or putting on a fake smile, these little layers of deception can cause discomfort when he realizes something might be wrong. He wants to know the real you, not the person you pretend to be, in order to please him. Another aspect of this that many men have brought up as a turn-off is “playing dumb” or using a “baby voice.” While some women find themselves flirting, it’s apparently a great way to turn men off.
- Lack of ambition and confidence
Trust is hot. So, if you get jealous easily, are too shy, or are too self-deprecating, you’re headed in the wrong direction. For the love of God, don’t frustrate yourself by trying to get a compliment from Him, or He will stop complimenting you altogether. Insulting yourself is just another way to make others painfully uncomfortable.
Another major turn off is if you don’t care about making your life better, making the world a better place, or making almost anything. Men are driven by passion and drive – not contradiction. Laziness does not indicate a healthy life or relationship. What men really want to see is a woman’s ambition and commitment to life and the things they love.
In addition, acting indecisive or incapable can drive a man crazy.
- Self-absorption
Men have used many words to describe what turns them off: vanity, arrogance, interruption, talkativeness, etc. What all these words and behaviors essentially boil down to is self-absorption. A woman who is proud and full of herself, and who believes that she is better than her partner, does not cause discomfort.
By interrupting people, talking too much, or spending too much time on your phone, you are sending signals that you don’t find his voice important. It can be hard when you can’t get your mind off your mind or verbalize something at work or something crazy that happened to you that day, but pause. Put a period at the end of that sentence, sister, so he can get a word in and can actually participate in the conversation.
Focus and listen, really listen. He wants to know that what he says matters, and that he matters. If you don’t pay attention, he will find someone who will. Like you, sometimes guys just want to vent, talk, or even cry. Many men have reported feeling great aversion when their partner tried to tell them what they should do, or, worse yet, what they should have done. I know it may be an automatic instinct just trying to help. Sometimes, all they really need is a listening ear, someone who cares.
What really turns men off?
All in all, most of the things said to turn men off are signs of your lack of basic self-awareness and decency. If you make a little effort to respect the people around you and create a healthy, fun relationship, you won’t have to worry about alienating men. Rejections can be very personal and individual, but if you keep trying and putting in the effort, you’re sure to find an equally respectful partner who doesn’t raise any red flags for you either.
