You will never get any truth from a narcissist, even though he does a pretty good job of convincing you otherwise. Many of us would like to read an honest letter from a narcissist, but no kind of truth will ever be provided.
Narcissists live in the illusion of ego creation, which characterizes them as the center of the universe. In their world, nothing sits above them, making them the god of their artificial reality. But in order to maintain this distorted world, they need the constant validation of those around them, confirming that it is, in fact, “real”.
The narcissist will defend his false self and false reality until the end of his days, because it is the only way he knows how to function in this world. However, this does not make any of their behavior acceptable and no one is under any obligation to go along with their imagination.
Narcissists are so lost in their own burrow of lies, they don’t even know what’s real anymore.
Here’s a fabricated message from a narcissist to give you a glimpse into who they are behind their false mask.
As a young child, my experience was filled with pain that I did not understand. All I knew was that I felt ashamed, worthless, rejected, and broken. I hated my self. I felt there must have been something inherently wrong with me because my caretakers had abandoned me the way they did.
However, I didn’t feel safe feeling what I was feeling. I wasn’t allowed to be sensitive or emotional. I had to shut down that part of myself to survive.
“But, it wasn’t enough for me to simply mitigate my weaknesses, I had to get rid of them forever.”
I vowed never to be weak or sensitive again. I did what I had to do to claim the exact opposite, which I so desperately sought.
I completely abandoned my true self, because that was the side of me that was responsible for this vulnerability and vulnerability.
I became my self sir.
In order for my ego to forever shield me from our reality, it had to create a complete false reality for me to live in. In this reality, I am superior, privileged, and perfect. I no longer have to miss out on what I desire, nor do I need to feel powerless.
However, there is nothing real or authentic about me. I am a fake person.
“In my false reality I am the center of the universe. I am God.
I traded my soul for the ability to walk through this life without a conscience, which means I can do whatever I want without consequences.
I’ve learned over the years how to feign empathy, compassion, and kindness, but I actually don’t have the ability to feel any of those things.
“I might tell you I love you, but the truth is, I don’t even have the ability to experience what love is. It’s just something I know other people crave, so it’s become a valuable manipulation tool for me to get what I want.”
For me, love is when others adore or worship me. It’s never about you because in my imaginary reality everything should always be about me. I am the center of the universe after all.
In my world, you are just a pawn for me to move as I want. I’ll use you for whatever I can earn, and then I’ll throw you away like yesterday’s rubbish. I am aware of how this type of treatment can destroy you, I just don’t care.
You cling to the hope that I will change or that I am not aware of what I am doing. The truth is, I know exactly what I’m doing and I will never change.
I am a separate soul and have no other goal in mind besides self-healing emptiness.
My false self is a complete reflection of who I really am. The things I say, do, and picture are the exact opposite of the truth.
I’ve learned over the years how to feign empathy, compassion, and kindness, but I actually don’t have the ability to feel any of those things.
“I might tell you I love you, but the truth is, I don’t even have the ability to experience what love is. It’s just something I know other people crave, so it’s become a valuable manipulation tool for me to get what I want.”
For me, love is when others adore or worship me. It’s never about you because in my imaginary reality everything should always be about me. I am the center of the universe after all.
In my world, you are just a pawn for me to move as I want. I’ll use you for whatever I can earn, and then I’ll throw you away like yesterday’s rubbish. I am aware of how this type of treatment can destroy you, I just don’t care.
You cling to the hope that I will change or that I am not aware of what I am doing. The truth is, I know exactly what I’m doing and I will never change.
I am a separate soul and have no other goal in mind besides self-healing emptiness.
My false self is a complete reflection of who I really am. The things I say, do, and picture are the exact opposite of the truth.
The truth means nothing to me because I am against the truth. I am not a self built on a pyramid of lies. Appearances and concepts are what bind my precarious reality together. There is nothing authentic or honest about me.
The problem with my false reality is that it isn’t real. You see, in order to really exist, I must receive constant confirmation from my external world that validates my real as reality because I simply cannot accept anything else.
This is why I demand uninterrupted attention (the narcissistic display) in all its forms because only then will my false self exist.
Whether it’s creating drama, making up superior appearances, admiration or pity, it all serves to feed my ego and reiterate the fact that I really do exist and that I’m special.
You see, since I cut off my true self, I’m left with a black hole in its place. I didn’t take that into account.
The only way now for me to avoid being sucked into this black hole of self-hatred, resentment, despair, and disgust is to maintain my false self-aggrandizement.
“I have basically become a drug addict who needs to constantly plunder life energy from other whole souls. Without access to my true self, I can no longer access that life force energy, which I desperately need to relieve my inner black hole.”
However, any strike to supply could only provide temporary relief. I’m basically an avid predator, and am constantly on the lookout for more.
But I know you wouldn’t give me your life force if you really knew who I am. So, I need to be a devil in disguise and present myself as a charming and caring person.
You must understand that although I may pretend to care about you, I really don’t. I have neither the ability nor the desire to do so.
I live inside a fabricated world where I am the master of the game. Everyone and everything in my world was put out there for my gain. I’ll use it to get money, resources, sex, validation, energy, status, and anything else I’m after at that moment.
I really don’t care if you’re my parent, child, lover, friend, or boss. You are nothing more than a pawn in my game for supplies and to feed my insatiable addiction.
My whole goal is to keep you on my hook forever, so that I can deliver your life force energy whenever I need a hit. The only way to escape my torment, abuse, and energy-sucking ways is to cut me out of your life forever.
Although I don’t want you to walk away, this is the only way you will be truly free from me.
I will not make your escape easy. I will abuse you, threaten you, feel guilty, beg you, blame you, get angry with you, and drag you through the mud. Because your trying to leave me is just another abandonment that my inner self can’t handle.
Your rejection is proof that I am not superior nor perfect, but I absolutely refuse to accept that. Therefore, I will try to crush you as punishment for daring to bring that information to my attention.
I will never change because I don’t want to. I’m perfect. There is nothing to change about myself. In fact, if anyone needs a change, it’s you!
I control you in order to control my entire false reality. It makes me feel powerful and important, like the God I believe in. Being in control of you also means I have a secure stream of supplies on hand to feed my addiction.
However, I resent you for that. I hate that I need you so much to survive. My biggest fear is that you will find out how weak and weak I really am. I can’t let you realize that I need you, so I upend the relationship dynamics, just as I upend everything in my life.
I belittle you, abuse you, call you names, invalidate your experiences and manipulate you emotionally in order to control your perception of reality. I need to shed your self-worth and your identity so that you lose yourself little by little to me.
I want you to see me as your God, so that you will willingly hand over your soul and life force to me.
I use intermittent punishments and rewards to tether you to the trauma, so that you never realize how much I am actually asking you for my survival.
The truth is that you have always been the strong and I am the weak. I will never be able to experience any of the light that surrounds me. I envy you for that and I hate that I envy you.
You must be the one I envy!
During your stay, you are enabling my behavior, which I know your compassionate soul thinks is helpful, but really isn’t. For everyone who protects me from myself and goes along with my delusion, the farther I get from having to face the truth.
But let’s face it. I don’t want to meet my real self because that would mean being responsible for every offensive word or action I ever made.
It’s a long karmic list.
Lucky, I don’t have to face any karma, because there is no god sitting above me, right?
If you eventually get up and stop enabling my behavior, I will replace you with someone else who will. In fact, I probably already had someone waiting in the wings, ready to go.
Because that’s the way I move and I like it that way.
You have to realize that you have always been strong and use that strength to set yourself free. Because once I catch you in my web, I will never leave you willingly.
You cannot fall into the trap of feeling sorry for me, because I will use your compassion as a weapon against you every time.
Rise above me and heal the wounds I have torn within you. Go and experience all the love, joy and wholeness, which I could only dream of since my humanity was amputated so long ago.
