The question of how long the narcissist’s rebound relationship will last depends largely on what the next person can offer the narcissist to take advantage of. In the narcissist’s world it always boils down to one thing – narcissistic supply.
If the new person is simply offering them a short-term source of attention, sex, and accommodation, the narcissist will use them while looking for more supply on the side.
So, let’s explore what constitutes a rebound relationship and how it translates into a narcissist’s world.
People often jump right into or find themselves in new relationships very quickly after breaking up with their last partner. One of the main reasons for moving so quickly is to distract them from the pain of the breakup.
Why do people get into rebound relationships?
To escape loneliness
To get the validation that they deserve and want
To fill cultural or societal expectations that they need to be partners
To feel “alive” again
To feel safe and secure
For financial or material reasons
Moving into a new relationship too quickly, before you’ve given yourself a chance to deal with and heal from the last relationship, may be to your detriment. This can cause you to get stuck in the same old cycle with someone new and not actually grow as a soul.
Why is it important to heal after a breakup?
As human beings, what the vast majority of us all seek out of relationships can be broken down into a few key aspects.
Unconditional love
protection
consent
ratification
We all come to this world looking for unconditional love, safety, approval and validation from our outside world (our caregivers). Unfortunately, due to our ancestors’ deep and conditioned traumas, many of our parents were unable to provide us with some or all of these things.
So, we grow up to be adults who go out into the world in search of the very things that were missing to us as children. These are the very things we seek in our relationships.
However, there is one fundamental flaw in this unconscious strategy.
When we are constantly looking for other people to fill our personal gaps, it means that we are constantly handing our power over to others. The danger here is that energy vampires (like narcissists) love people who go around handing their power over to everyone else.
The truth is that an endless abundance of self-love, self-approval, self-validation, and self-security can only be found within.
When we have taken all the time necessary after a breakup to go inside ourselves, we can begin the journey back home. This is the real place to find all the things we have lost throughout our lives.
It’s a process of actually embracing loneliness and triggers so you can get to your deepest wounds and get them out of your body for good.
In fact, there is no time limit on how long this process can take. It’s been a year and a half and I’m still going (so much shocking to turn around!). So, the very idea of a rebound relationship actually makes me want to crawl into a hole, because I know I’m not yet ready to have another person in my world.
Then, once you’ve completed all of the recovery, growth, and learning you were destined to do from the previous relationship, you’ll know when you’re ready to open up to the possibility of a new relationship. Not because you’re running away from yourself or looking for a distraction to fill a void, but because you’ve got work done.
Once you are truly healed and become your own source of love, validation, safety, and approval, you will never hand your power over to another person in hopes that they will give you those things.
This is exactly what our souls signed up for when we set out on this earthly journey. It is always about growing in spirit and learning to become fully sovereign beings.
Can a rebound relationship last?
Not all rebound relationships end at the end of the month, but many can. As you can see, rebound relationships are not built on the same solid foundation that non-rebound relationships tend to be.
When one or both parties are still ruminating on their ex and unable to be fully present, it makes it difficult to build a relationship together moving forward into the future.
Experts say a rebound relationship will typically last anywhere from one to 12 months, with the lucky ones to expand beyond the initial excitement of the “honeymoon” phase.
This does not mean that the relationship cannot grow beyond the rebound phase. If both parties have mutual respect and care towards each other, it can definitely develop into a loving, supportive, and healthy relationship.
