Let’s cut to the chase: If you’re looking for warning signs a guy is using you for money, you probably already suspect this is happening to you. You deserve better than that, and you know it. Even if he does take care of you, if your money is a deal-breaker, you should just let him go.
When feelings get involved, if your partner isn’t real, it’s your well-being that takes the passenger seat. You have to remind yourself that you come first, so here it is again: You deserve to be loved for who you are and not for what you have.
If you decide that the person you’re dating is definitely a leech, be determined and end things. It will hurt, but unless you cut it off right away, it will hurt more the further you go. It won’t change no matter what he says. you deserve the best.
So let’s get straight into it: Here are the red flags you should watch out for.
25 Signs A Man Is Using You For Money To Be Wary Of
If your significant other isn’t with you if you can’t pay for things, then you have to ask yourself: Do I have to be with this person at all?
Some people come to arrangements that involve one partner taking financial responsibility, but unless you have agreed to such a thing, your finances will have no bearing on your relationship. If so, you are in a toxic relationship.
It’s not hard to tell when someone is using you for money. They are never open about it, but they can’t help themselves if they need you to foot the bill. Finding out how to ask you to pay for something becomes an art, but if you pay attention, you can easily spot the signs a guy uses for money.
- He never offers to pay
A man who can’t bear to part with his own money but willingly accepts yours is either cheap or an exploiter. This type of man will not pay even if he invites you to an expensive restaurant – even going Dutch is just out of reach for him.
If he often claims he forgot his wallet or never mentioned the possibility of payment, it’s because he never intended to pay in the first place.
When a guy is struggling financially but isn’t a gold digger, he isn’t happy that you pay every time. If you’re in a healthy relationship with a guy who can’t pay, he’ll talk you through instead of pretending he’s going to but he can’t.
- There is always something for which he needs money
He keeps asking you for money and says he really, really needs it, and he’ll pay you back, he swears. money for his sick pet, or he needs your help to start a business. His car needs a rare part, and his bank is having problems for some reason no one understands.
If he’s always coming up with stories about why he needs money and promising that all of his problems are valid reasons for you to agree, he’s probably too lost in his lies to realize how suspicious his behavior is.
- He is very interested in your financial situation
A clear sign that a man is using you for money is if his interest in your bank account exceeds his interest in you. No matter how close your relationship is, he has no business involved in your financial affairs.
Sharing your money situation with a man would make sense if you plan to get married and share what you have with each other, but a man who has nothing to contribute to — or intend not to — show interest in what you have is more than suspicious.
When you decide to dump him and finally meet a good guy after such a toxic relationship, you’ll look back and realize how relevant this was.
- He has no source of livelihood
He’s bragging about the new stuff he’s bought, but you have no idea where he’s getting the money from. So what is his job? If his answers are vague and if he gets defensive when you try to talk to him about it, he probably isn’t doing anything that provides him with an income.
If he always seems to have “cash flow issues” or if it’s never his fault when he gets fired, then he’s suspicious. No source of income means others are the source, most likely you.
- He lives beyond his means
Going broke with an extravagant taste in and of itself isn’t a telltale sign for a gold digger, but insisting on the best when you can’t afford it is. If he’s jobless and without income, yet he’s always wearing expensive clothes and has the latest gadgets, he’s got to get them from somewhere.
The most likely answer is that he uses credit cards and loans that he plans to pay off with the money he gets or plans to get from you. Try saying no when he asks for a certain amount of money and see what happens.
- He has a rich dating history
An easy way to spot a gold digger is to look at his previous partners. Were they all wealthy and able to support his lifestyle? If he’s a professional sugar baby, you might be another sugar momma without knowing it.
Being honest about wanting this kind of relationship is different from trying to deceive someone into getting what they want. Many people are happy to support their partner indefinitely, but the difference between that and what he intends to do is that he is dishonest and trying to trick you into doing so.
- He’s always at your house or moves in with you
One of the reasons he’s always there for you is because he doesn’t have to spend money on basic household needs if he’s using your needs. He may also prefer your home if it suits his tastes more than yours. If your TV is bigger than his, you bet it will stay a lot.
If he takes a step forward and moves in with you, ask yourself why he lives with you and how that happened. Is your relationship at the level where you want to live together? Was this a step you were keen to take?
If it’s a move he initiated, does he contribute to supporting the family, or does he simply stay put while you do everything? The answers to these questions can give you insight into whether or not he is using you.
- He gets angry if you mention his financial problems
Doubting, wondering, “Is he using me for money?” Confronting him about his money problems is to be expected if you always pay for everything and fund his lifestyle. If his intentions aren’t based on what he can get from you, he’ll feel awkward about it, and he’ll talk to you about his problems.
So if he gets angry or defensive when the topic is brought up, he uses his answer as a distraction from the real issue. It’s emotional manipulation with the goal of making you drop the subject and continue buying into his lies.
- He doesn’t have any future goals
Being unemployed is not a sign of a gold digger. It can happen to anyone and in those times, relying on loved ones to help you get back on your feet is normal. Most people in this type of situation are eager to find work and regain their independence.
Not this guy, though. If he’s happy when he doesn’t have to go to work or if he can’t hold down a job because he doesn’t care, that’s one of the warning signs that you’re dealing with a leech. If he’s totally okay with relying on other people to support him and has no ambition, you have to be wary.
- It encourages you to waste
Guys like this love to live big. He wants things he can’t stand, so he finds someone who can. One of his ways of getting something is by encouraging you to indulge in something rather than being direct and asking you to indulge in it. He thinks it will work because you will have him.
If he’s putting too much pressure on you to spend a large amount of money, he’s just trying to cash in or at least get some crumbs. Next time he suggests you treat yourself, get the thing, but for one person — you — and see how he reacts. If he was angry or frowning, he clearly wanted it for himself.
- He suggests doing things he can’t stand
A sure sign that he is using you is that he has invited you to buy or do something he clearly cannot afford. He may “forget his wallet” when it’s time to pay or expect you to follow through and organize things after he proposes.
Obviously, this is another way he uses to get something from you. The gold digger has no dignity, and his only concern is to get what he wants. He’s not interested in doing things with you, just in doing them, and you’re a comfortable purse that he brings with you.
- He has opinions about how you should spend your money
You don’t need relationship advice to know that someone who thinks they have the right to tell you what to do with your own money is trying to control you in some way. Another type of toxic person might do it to gain influence over you, but a leech like this guy does it because he cares more about that money than he does about you.
His only concern is your financial situation and the availability of your funds. If you invest it, spend it on something you want that he doesn’t care about, or give it to someone else, it means that he loses access to it, so he feels that he has to protect his interests.
- He worries about others and your money
When a guy wants your money all for himself, other people are a problem. Because his only concern is how to use people, it never occurs to him that not everyone is like that. He’s worried that your loved ones might get what he thinks belong to him because that’s what he’ll do.
When another man appears around you and shows genuine interest, the gold digger may act jealous and restless, but not for natural reasons. He’s not worried that he might lose a woman he loves, but he does feel threatened that you might choose someone else over him and leave him broke.
- He gets upset if you forget your wallet or get rejected
When you’re not in the mood to do something he’s asking you to do, he’ll get annoyed if he sets his eyes on any ostentatious activity he suggests. Getting angry if you refuse him something he wants if you think it’s excessive or if you can’t pay for it is a form of emotional blackmail.
He’s trying to make you feel guilty for his response, but don’t forget that his feelings aren’t your responsibility. When you’re trying to enforce your boundaries, and he’s trying to push them by making you feel bad about yourself, that’s toxic behavior that you shouldn’t fall into.
- A quiet night in it is unacceptable
Always ready to go out and party, always on an adventure or a trip, always eager to get up and do new things – all of these would be the sign of an exciting guy if it weren’t for one thing: He’s up if you’re the one footing the bill.
If he’s not interested in your money, he’ll be happy to do things that don’t require anything. If all the activities he proposes have a price, this is a good sign that you are dealing with gold diggers.
- He’s not really interested in your life
Apart from your money, nothing in your life really interests him. If he doesn’t care about your day but does care about your paycheck, then you should seriously consider moving on from this toxic relationship.
A guy who loves you shows it in many ways, but the first of them is that everything about you fascinates him. If you stay with a guy who only cares about your worth and how he can take advantage of it, you will be missing out on someone who will love you for you.
- There is no emotional connection
A serious, healthy relationship is impossible without an emotional bond. If he’s emotionally unavailable or you can’t relate to him, that’s a sign that he’s not interested in having this kind of relationship with you.
On the other hand, you should also be wary if he’s trying to establish an emotional connection too quickly, and he’s very adamant about it. Trust your gut feeling and pay attention to whether he seems genuine or if he is just trying to manipulate you and keep you hooked.
- He doesn’t make an effort
If a guy isn’t putting effort into your relationship, then he’s not the guy for you, whether it’s just for the money or not. You don’t need a man who won’t appreciate you and show you that he loves you with his actions. The whole relationship isn’t just your responsibility, and if it continues, it will only lead to heartbreak.
Even worse if he makes no effort and is using you for money. What do you get from this relationship? You don’t get love and affection, and you give him both, plus what he needs you to buy for him. Do yourself a favor and get out ASAP.
- He doesn’t tell you where he’s going or what he’s doing
In a healthy relationship, partners trust each other and don’t need to know where the other person is at all times. However, if someone is either secretive or acts like their daily activities are none of your business, that’s not all.
Leaving you out unless you have to pay means that he only sees you as the patron of his lifestyle, so he only includes you when he needs something. If he thinks you have no right to his personal life, but he has a right to your money, don’t flatter him.
- He leaves the room when his phone rings
Closing his social media apps when you’re looking or leaving the room to talk on the phone means he’s hiding something. He may be cheating on you, but he may also be leading a life that doesn’t involve you. If he comes back from his phone call asking for a donation, just let him go.
This is not something you should tolerate, and it is a clear sign that you are nothing but an ATM machine to him. If he has his real life that you’re not a part of, do yourself a favor and leave him to someone who would be more than happy to make you a part of it.
- You suspect him of being unfaithful
Your gut feeling telling you he’s being unfaithful might be enough, but if you want to be sure, pay attention to his behavior and try to spot the most common signs of cheating. These signs apply to most people, so if you can check out several of them, it’s very likely that your intuition is correct.
If he’s cheating on you and still takes your money, then he’s despicable and doesn’t deserve to call you his girlfriend. Drop him and move on because whatever he says, he doesn’t have your best interests at heart, and he’s never going to change.
- He doesn’t want to meet your friends and family
A guy you’re in a relationship with finding excuses to get out of meeting your friends is creepy. If you’re in a long-term relationship, this is a definite red flag. The person who cares for you wants to be a part of your life, and that includes your loved ones.
The gold digger doesn’t care about you or your family. All he cares about is when you will buy him the thing he wants or how much pocket money he will get after that. When he doesn’t even want to pretend he cares, you know he’s being humble. Say goodbye and move on with your life.
- You feel like he won’t care about you if you don’t have money
Being selfless rather than selfish is one of the main differences between a true connection and a toxic relationship. If your gut feeling is telling you that he won’t be interested in you if you don’t have the money, that’s probably true. You feel this way simply because you don’t want to admit to yourself that he is using you.
It’s time to put yourself first and stop caring about this relationship. Focus on what you want, and if it includes it, aim higher. Let your taste be better than that.
- If you’re having money problems, there’s a problem
Getting upset when you run out of money is one of the clear signs that money is all he cares about. He is using you emotionally and financially without caring about your feelings. When you can’t pay his expenses, you don’t do him any good.
In the event that your financial situation does not improve, you will become worthless in his eyes, and he will pass it on to someone else who can use it. If you get better, his feelings will suddenly wake up. Don’t let it get to this point, and get rid of this guy.
- People tell you he’s using you
Your best friend tells you to break up with him, your family tells you it’s no good — it might be time to believe they mean well and stop using excuses. Stop defending yourself and your loved ones.
Don’t try to explain the behavior to others the same way he keeps jotting down anecdotes to suck things out of you. Finish things without looking back.
