Do you think you have narcissistic traits? Are you tired of these tendencies that make you manipulate and control others? Are you constantly asking yourself, “How do I stop being a narcissist?” Well, we have the answer.

It is not usual for a narcissistic person to realize or be aware of the fact that they have a narcissistic personality. However, since you are questioning your own tendencies and asking how to stop being a narcissist, it is likely that you have some narcissistic traits and are not necessarily a true narcissist.

However, the fact that you are looking for ways to change your behavior is an excellent positive first step towards recovery. Here we will discuss some critical steps to change your narcissistic behavior and help you find the answer to your question “How do I stop becoming a narcissist?”

Note: Because narcissism exists on a spectrum, not everyone with narcissistic traits behaves the same way. When we use the term “narcissist,” we are identifying individuals who may possess narcissistic personality traits. However, it should be noted that these traits can vary greatly depending on the individual and the severity of the narcissistic personality in that person.

As narcissistic personality disorder is such a serious mental health issue, please be sure to consult a mental health professional, if you think you may be affected by it.

So are you ready to learn how to stop being a covert narcissist or even an overt narcissist? But before we can move on, we need to clearly define what narcissism really means.

What is narcissism?

Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a constant need for attention and admiration along with a lack of empathy for others and low self-esteem. People with narcissistic traits tend to believe that they are special and superior to others, and they often have unrealistic expectations about the entitlement and admiration of others.

While narcissists may have a pattern of grandiosity, fantasies of unlimited power, and a need for special treatment, narcissists “experience significant psychological stress associated with interpersonal conflict and functional impairment,” the researchers believe.

Narcissism can manifest in many ways, ranging from mild to severe. In some cases, narcissism can be healthy, resulting in a strong sense of self-confidence and self-esteem. However, when narcissism becomes extreme, it can be harmful to the person with these traits and those around them.

Narcissistic individuals may have difficulty building meaningful relationships and may struggle with empathy, which leads to a lack of consideration for the feelings and needs of others. They may engage in manipulative behaviors to maintain a sense of superiority or control over others. They may have difficulty taking responsibility for their own actions and mistakes.

It is important to note that narcissism is a personality trait and not a disorder in and of itself. However, when these traits are severe and persistent, they may be diagnosed as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) – a mental health condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

People with NPD may struggle with relationships and have difficulty functioning in the community, and may benefit from therapy or other forms of treatment. The good news is that narcissism is not a static trait, and with the right mindset and approach, it is possible to change it.

Are you a narcissist?

Do you feel that you deserve more attention and appreciation from others? But do you find it difficult to relate to or communicate with people? While these may hint at narcissistic tendencies, how can you tell if you are truly a narcissist?

Look for these signs within yourself, if you think you are a narcissist –

A sense of entitlement
Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement, believing they are special and deserving of special treatment.

Lack of empathy
Narcissists have trouble understanding and caring for the feelings and needs of others, and often display a lack of empathy for others. They may not be able to put themselves in other people’s shoes or consider their point of view, which makes it difficult for them to build meaningful relationships.
The constant need for attention and admiration
Narcissists have an insatiable need for attention and admiration from others, and often seek it through their appearance or sexuality. They often crave attention and will go to great lengths to get it.

This can manifest in various ways, such as bragging about their accomplishments or seeking attention through their physical appearance or behavior.

Behavior of grandiosity
Narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance and the belief that they are better than others. They may overestimate their abilities, achievements, and importance, and they may exaggerate their own accomplishments or talents.

They may have unrealistic expectations of their abilities and accomplishments, and they may feel entitled to special treatment or privileges.

Manipulative behavior
Narcissists may use manipulative techniques to control and control others, such as guilt tripping, gaslighting, or lying. They may use flattery or charm to gain people’s trust and admiration, and then exploit their weaknesses or vulnerabilities for personal gain.
Lack of accountability
Narcissists often have difficulty acknowledging their mistakes or taking responsibility for their actions and mistakes, and may blame others or make excuses for their behavior, avoiding accountability and consequences.
Envy and jealousy
Narcissists may feel threatened by other people’s successes or accomplishments, resulting in feelings of envy and jealousy. They may undermine or belittle others to maintain their sense of superiority.

Recognizing the signs is an essential part of knowing how to stop being a narcissist. However, it is important to note that the presence or absence of these traits is not necessarily a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This disorder should always and only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional.

What type of narcissist are you?

While there are different types of narcissists, there are three basic groups or groups of narcissistic personality based on their preference for receiving their narcissistic supply. Here are the 3 main types of narcissism that you should know about before you learn how to stop being a narcissist –

Exhibitionist narcissists
The showmanship narcissist seeks attention and validation through his or her physical appearance or accomplishments. They may exaggerate their own accomplishments or abilities and crave admiration and attention from others.

People with exhibitionist narcissism may also engage in attention-seeking behavior, such as provocative clothing or public displays of affection.

The Narcissist’s Closet
The closet narcissist appears to be selfless and empathetic, but they may be hiding their own insecurities and need validation. They may represent a facade of humility or altruism, but they are secretly preoccupied with their image and reputation.

Roomby narcissists may also engage in manipulative behaviors to maintain their image.

Toxic narcissists
A toxic narcissist is very manipulative and can be emotionally or physically abusive towards others. They may use tactics such as gaslighting or belittling to maintain control over others, and they may lack empathy or concern for the welfare of others.

Toxic narcissists may also display traits of other personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder.

So which one do you think you belong to? Are you a showmanship narcissist or a closet narcissist?

What makes a person a narcissist?

There is no definitive answer to what makes a person a narcissist, as it is likely due to a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. Here are some possible factors that may contribute to someone developing narcissistic traits:

Genetics
Research suggests that genetics may play a role in the development of NPD, as it appears to run in families. So if a first-degree relative, such as a parent or sibling, has a narcissistic personality, you are very likely to develop such traits.
Childhood experiences
Traumatic or neglectful childhood experiences, such as abuse or neglect, may contribute to the development of narcissistic traits. The lack of positive reinforcement or attention from caregivers can lead to feelings of entitlement and a need for external validation.
Overestimation
Being overly praised or receiving too much admiration can contribute to the development of narcissistic traits. This can happen when parents constantly tell a child that they are exceptional, or when their accomplishments are overrated.
Learn the behavior
Observing and imitating the narcissistic behavior of parents, siblings, or other significant figures in childhood can also contribute to the development of narcissistic traits.

Coping mechanisms
Some individuals may develop narcissistic traits as a way to deal with feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem. These traits can help protect one’s ego and allow them to feel more confident or powerful.

It is important to note that not everyone with these factors will develop narcissistic traits or NPD. Understanding the causes can help us know the answer to the real question we’ve been asking all along – how do you stop being a narcissist?

How to stop being a narcissist

So there you are now. Struggling with narcissistic traits and wondering “How can I stop being a narcissist?” If you are aware of your narcissistic behavior patterns and want to change, I have already covered the first essential step because most narcissists do not even acknowledge their narcissistic tendencies.

But while you are looking for an answer to how to stop being a narcissist, it shows that you want to transform yourself and your life positively. Here are 20 helpful strategies on how to stop being a narcissist –

Acknowledge the problem
The first step in addressing narcissistic tendencies is acknowledging the problem. Realize that your behavior is causing harm to yourself and others.
Seek professional help
Consult a licensed mental health professional who can help you address your narcissistic traits and provide appropriate treatment.
Accept feedback
Be open to receiving feedback from others about your behavior and how it affects them. Avoid dismissing their concerns or becoming defensive, if you are seriously learning how to stop being a narcissist.
Practice self-reflection
Take time to reflect on your thoughts and actions, and identify areas where you may need to change. Learn how to identify the triggers that make you resort to manipulative behavior and address those internal issues. And this is a crucial step in your journey on how to stop being a covert narcissist or any type of narcissist.
Build empathy
Practice putting yourself in other people’s shoes and being considerate of their perspectives. Try to understand how your behavior affects others.
Develop humility
Work on accepting your imperfections and acknowledging that you’re not perfect. Practice self-compassion and avoid comparing yourself to others.
Practice gratitude
Develop a sense of gratitude for the positive aspects of your life and the people in it. Instead of focusing on what you lack, appreciate what you do have.

Practice journaling and write down the things you’re grateful for each day. This can help you develop a more positive outlook and appreciation for the good things in life.

Set healthy boundaries
Learn to set and respect healthy boundaries with others. Know that you have no right to control or manipulate others.
Focus on others
Shift your focus away from yourself and the needs of others. Practice acts of kindness and generosity towards others.
Build self-awareness
Pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors and identify patterns that may be harmful. Consider how your behavior affects your relationships and how you can improve them.
Look for other people’s opinions
Ask for feedback from trusted friends and family members about your behavior and how you can improve it. Be open to constructive criticism and avoid viewing comments as a personal attack.

Learn how to apologize
Take responsibility for your mistakes and apologize when necessary. Avoid making excuses or blaming others.
Practice forgiveness
Learn to forgive yourself and others for past mistakes. Holding grudges only harms yourself and your relationships.
Practice mindfulness
Develop mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, to help you stay in the present moment and focused. This can also help you manage stress and anxiety.
Build healthy relationships
Surround yourself with supportive and loving people who can help you grow and improve. Avoid toxic or abusive relationships.

Practice self-care
Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include getting regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and practicing self-compassion.
Develop new hobbies or interests
Discover new activities that can help you develop new skills and interests because they can boost your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. This can also help you meet new people and expand your social circle.
Learn to let go
Practice letting go of control and letting others make their own decisions. Avoid trying to interfere or manipulate others.
Practice patience
Know that change takes time, and be patient with yourself as you work toward your goals. Celebrate small victories and progress.
Learn to listen actively
Learn how to actively listen to others without interrupting or controlling the conversation. This can help you build stronger relationships and understand other people’s perspectives.
Take responsibility for your actions
Know that you are responsible for your behavior and the consequences that result from it. Avoid blaming others for your mistakes.
Cultivate a sense of humor
Develop a healthy sense of humor and learn to laugh at yourself. This can help you avoid taking yourself too seriously and build better relationships with others.
Develop your emotional intelligence
Work on developing your emotional intelligence by learning to identify and regulate your feelings. This can help you better understand yourself and others. Another major step towards mastering how to stop being a narcissist.
Exercise assertiveness
Learn to assert your needs and boundaries healthily and respectfully. Avoid being aggressive or manipulative in your communication.
Practice self-forgiveness
Learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes and let go of any blame or shame that might hold you back.
Develop a growth mindset
Adopt a growth mindset, which focuses on learning and personal growth rather than static traits. This can help you face challenges and overcome obstacles.

Find a diverse perspective
Learn to gain different perspectives and opinions from people with different backgrounds and experiences. This can help you expand your understanding and empathy for others.
Surround yourself with positive role models
Be around people who inspire you and help you become a better, more positive person. Surround yourself with role models who display traits you admire, such as humility, kindness, and empathy. This can help you learn from their example and develop these traits yourself.
Meditate regularly
Engage in mindfulness meditation to develop greater self-awareness and learn to notice your thoughts and behaviors without judgment. This can help you to recognize and address any narcissistic tendencies that may be emerging.
Be observant
Stay committed to your goals and keep working on improving yourself even when it’s hard. Avoid feeling complacent or giving up when faced with challenges. Remember that change is possible and your efforts can lead to a happier and healthier life.
Thrive in self-love
Learn to love and appreciate yourself instead of looking for validation from others. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, just as you would a friend or family member. This includes acknowledging and accepting your flaws and mistakes, without judging or berating yourself.

Change is always possible

If you really want to change your narcissistic ways and transform yourself, it will only happen through determination, effort, and patience. However, breaking free from narcissistic tendencies can be a difficult and ongoing process.

The above steps can make it possible for you to overcome toxic patterns of behavior and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships with others. Remember, change takes time and effort, but with patience and perseverance, you can become a more compassionate, humble, and authentic version of yourself.

Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals if needed, and remember to be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process.