Are you stuck in a relationship with a narcissist where they don’t treat you well? Being in a relationship with a narcissist or worse, falling in love with a narcissist rebounding is probably one of the most painful and horrific experiences you can go through. You deserve so much better than being stuck with a narcissist.
Two things kept me stuck in the relationship with my narcissistic wife.
One of them is the feelings it aroused in me. I’d be at a loss, why would he pull away when together he feels so good?
The other is that when he wasn’t stupid, he was a cool guy.
The feelings that I had were incredibly strong, I was convinced that I was in love with him. Once I was free of him and our relationship, I realized that he was feeling something completely different than I was.
Right now, he was acting like a caring person, and he was content, emotional, and happy. I was completely oblivious to what he was feeling.
It just didn’t make sense to me and I felt obligated to figure it out, to help and fix it in any way I could, because the good times, I thought, were so good, and how could he not have felt what I was feeling?
Related: 5 Dating Deal Breakers You Should Never Ignore
How it feels to be stuck with a narcissist
The realization, that we didn’t share the same feelings, hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to spend every minute with him and it didn’t even occur to me that he didn’t feel the same way.
When he was with me, he certainly didn’t act like that.
We laughed, we talked, we hugged, and we were holding hands, for the most part, it was cool and I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want it all the time.
Finding out that he didn’t feel and/or didn’t feel the same way about me was a game changer. You have discovered part of the puzzle.
But that was only part of it.
Next was –
Why can’t he be that wonderful guy that I’ve been getting glimpses of all the time?
This was the man I loved.
I could care less about the grumpy, neurotic, and insecure man/child I got the rest of the time.
Nobody is 100% all good or 100% all bad. People are all different shades of grey. I’m sure even serial killers have some great qualities, but they are not someone I want to date.
When we evaluate whether or not a person is good for us, we have to look at the full picture of who that person is and not just the parts we like.
Even couples have some things they don’t particularly like about their partner, he leaves toothpaste in the sink, she hangs her bra in the bathroom to dry, she makes annoying noises when she’s asleep, he snores, etc.
