Valentine’s week is just around the corner, and if you’ve been on a date with a nice guy but aren’t attracted to him, here are some tips for sparking chemistry with a nice guy and revamping your dating life!

Have you ever wondered how to spark chemistry with a good guy? Well, you are not alone. This is an email I recently received from Rachel:

“Dr. Diana, I’m really ready to have a real relationship. With a nice guy. A good guy. I’m sick of my poor choices! I just found out that Bob, whom I dated six years ago and who was crazy about me, the guy who wanted a serious relationship with me – But I exploded… Married with two adorable kids.”

We’ll get in touch with Rachel later. Maybe like Rachel, I’m done with the players, the ones who hit hard and disappear, the cheaters and the heartbreakers. I am tired of feeling disappointed, hurt, betrayed, angry and depressed. Sick of lying on the couch with the remote and your cell going through an entire box of tissues worth a tear.

Your brain is telling you that choosing from a pool of nice guys will save you more time wasted with guys who aren’t into you. Or the bastards who betray you or the narcissists who blame you for any problem. You are ready for a partner who is your best friend.

But there’s one hitch: You just don’t feel it with nice guys.

no prick. No adrenaline rush when he looks into your eyes. You wonder: How do you spark chemistry with the person you met online, the bad guy? He’s a great guy, successful, tender, crazy about you, and he has beautiful eyes, you think.

But you don’t feel like he’s the right one, and even worse, you don’t know how to impress with these nice guys. Are you doomed to only be attracted to those you can’t have?

Answer: No, you are not.

I’ve worked with many women who complained of the same dilemma: How do I spark chemistry with a good guy? And where are they now? They married great men. So what are the secrets these women used to be in committed relationships with great men, good men of integrity and loyalty.

9 Relationship tips for sparking chemistry with a good guy

1 Chemistry Spark Tip: Remember to give him a real shot.

Even if he’s bald, fat, nerdy, or just not particularly attractive. In fact, you want to date versus write. Be honest with yourself: has dating your type gotten you anywhere? Even if the first date doesn’t put you off, remember to keep an open mind. Go on a second or third date at least.

You cannot find out the secret good hidden in a person in one meeting. So you need to let a potential partner unfold and show you their different sides. If there is any contact with this person at all, give them another chance.

Related: 3 Ways to Keep from Committing Too Soon

2 Chemistry Trigger Tip: Practice the Opening Probability Exercises Now (OPEN).

If there’s a guy out there who seems crazy about you, willing to grow, and is a good guy – use my OPEN TECHNIQUES to see what he might be out there.

First, think of it as a gift wrapped in nested boxes. As you interact, you unpack the present and discover more and more things about it that can be wonderful. This process often leads to great chemistry and communication!

3 Chemistry Spark Tip: Go on exciting, new dates and get your adrenaline pumping.

New and exciting experiences can spark chemistry. Go on a roller coaster at his amusement park, rock climb at his gym, take a helicopter ride, try hiking on a winding high trail or surfing, go crazy catching the sunset on the beach, or scream yourselves silly at Football game or race track.

Studies show that people who are emotionally aroused, whether because of joy, fear, or any feeling, fall in love more easily. As two love researchers once wrote, “Adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder.”

4. Tip for sparking chemistry: Use affirmations before every date.

I have fun with this guy. I see the hidden possibilities in (his name). This guy is a gift for his pleasure. Over time, I will learn more about it. Discover and enjoy the wonderful sides of this man. Ignite chemistry with (his name).

5. Tip for sparking chemistry: Watch him in his element.

For example, plan a date around skateboarding, his rock band performing, or his softball game. In this example, you will capture aspects of him that you have not seen before.

His personal strength and charisma will be at their height. So it might open up a bunch of exciting feelings and ignite chemistry between you two.

6. Tip for inducing harmony: Get yourself busy first.

For example, go on a date with your sexiest lingerie under your clothes. Flirt with him, touch him gently, whisper in his ear, and maybe even kiss him. So spark the chemistry with him by putting yourself in the mood first.

7. Tip for arousing harmony: Use the magic phrase to ask for what you want.

So the magic phrase is, “I would really like it if (fill in the blank!)”. For example, “I would really like it if you kissed me gently on the back of the neck.”

If he responds with sensual motions based on tips 6 and 7, this “spark chemistry experiment” could be the start of something great!

8 Chemistry Sparking Tip: Be Patient!

Keep dating this cute guy and practice the tips above. Remember, stirring up chemistry, like starting a forest fire, sometimes takes time!

9 Chemistry Tip: Remember that love always comes in a surprise package.

Most people don’t end up with the kind of person they imagine themselves to be. For example, a woman who dates starving artists marries a rich, balding lawyer.

What happened to Rachel?

And Rachel, remember her? She worked with a dating coach and created a marriage gem with a tall geek who was her hero and a healing force of nature in her life. So practice these 9 relationship tips to spark chemistry with a good man and your love life will turn 180 degrees.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where your partner loves you unconditionally. And my expert dating and relationship guides can help you find that person.