Shortly after abandoning someone, the narcissist seems to move on to the next person without hesitation. After humiliating and crushing their self-esteem, the narcissist shows no remorse. They violate the rights of others, take what they want, and then move on without any repercussions. While others bear the scars of life and crumble under the weight of their emotions, the narcissist remains as serene as a spring day. How is this possible?
To understand why narcissists are able to overcome every hardship, we must separate reality from fantasy.
In other words, as Eckhart Tolle said: at any given moment in your life, the moment is now, and you are here. What could possibly be wrong at this moment, except what your mind creates? If you are breathing, generally healthy, and there is no immediate physical danger, then you are, so to speak, “on your feet.”
This illustrates the magnitude of the “catastrophes” we might encounter in our lives. In the real world, these things are of little consequence. The world keeps turning, your heart still beats, energy still flows, and everything is possible. Only your mind and emotions are deluding you otherwise.
If you make a mistake, your mind generates feelings of shame and guilt. If your actions are misinterpreted by others, you will feel the consequences of their anger and resentment. Unless this leads to physical violence or a crime, the damage lies within the mind and soul. This doesn’t mean that abuse doesn’t exist; it does. To ensure the stability of our society, we must take each other’s stories seriously.
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The narcissist, however, doesn’t take other people’s stories seriously. They live in their own world of narrative, where their ego reigns supreme. They create a story about themselves, a myth of superiority, and then manipulate others into believing it. The psychological energy and time invested in this narrative are real, and the emotional reactions are real too—for you. For the narcissist, everything is an illusion. What happens outside of this illusion is worthless. If the narcissist’s actions cause physical harm to themselves or others, they will be forced to take things seriously for a moment. Otherwise, the “disaster” is psychological. Your problem.
The narcissist refuses to feel shame, guilt, or empathy. They refuse to apologize or make amends unless it helps them maintain control over you. The narcissist lives only in a world of fantasy. When reality clashes with their story, they simply change it, ignoring the facts.
Everyone, including narcissists, must face physical disasters. But psychological disasters are experienced only by the victim of the narcissist. The narcissist will deny their actions, and if forced to confront them through violence or the law, they will seethe with rage until they are freed, only to return to weaving their narrative of superiority. The narcissist categorizes the consequences of their victim’s suffering as “annoyance.” As long as their ego is intact and satisfied, they remain in an unenviable position.
