People with borderline personality disorder are among the most charming, charismatic, and alluring people you’ll ever meet. Being around them is like sitting by a warm fire. There’s something comforting and comforting about a borderline personality, but you also feel, like with fire, that if you get too close, you’ll get burned.

Ironically, narcissists seem to be doing the same thing at first. They direct their fire at you, illuminating aspects of you you never knew existed. Of course, in reality, you’re being lured under a dragon’s wing. But none of this is apparent. The narcissist remains as charming and harmless as anyone you’ve ever met.

Dragon Without Shield

There is no such thing as a pure narcissist. Some have psychopathic tendencies, while others have a thinner layer of narcissism, where their ego is more volatile than a crispy wafer.

Narcissists are also adaptable. They may act haughtily and arrogantly toward those who flatter them, but at the same time, they are kind and affectionate to those who need someone to soften their heart. If a narcissist senses that someone is suffering from low self-esteem, they will draw them in by remaining warm and understanding, knowing how easily that person can be intimidated and flee.

The narcissist knows when to wear their inflated, false mask as a protective shield, and when to take it off and put on something more spontaneous: their borderline personality.

When a narcissist is in their borderline state, they tend to be more sensitive and vulnerable. Under candlelight with a new lover, they don’t feel threatened. In this state, their emotions become real.

People with borderline personality disorder feel emotions and possess great, often excessive, empathy. In the case of a narcissist, when their emotions threaten to overwhelm them, they immediately retreat into their inflated mask, reverting to their narcissistic state. This provides the narcissist with a level of protection that the person with borderline personality disorder lacks.

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Unlike someone with borderline personality disorder who appears emotionless, a narcissist can switch to a state of emotional detachment and lack of empathy at any time. This allows them to remain detached from the suffering of others and protect themselves from pain. In this way, the narcissist is more fortunate than someone with borderline personality disorder.

So, while the narcissist is often insensitive and unsympathetic, they can revert to their borderline state when the threat is low and their idealized view of the other person is high. This is what makes them extremely dangerous for anyone they date.

When a narcissist displays genuine warmth and affection, they soften their victim’s heart and deepen their attachment. If this is combined with “love bombardment,” it can quickly lead to the victim’s downfall. Once the narcissist’s darker side surfaces and the traumatic bond is established, the victim is trapped.

Using the Narcissist’s Weapon Against Them

A telltale sign that a narcissist has borderline personality disorder is observing their behavior with others. Does their kindness and warmth vanish when they’re outside your immediate circle?

Beware of narcissists in a society that also lives in a bubble. With a low level of threat in their immediate environment, they may remain open and charming to everyone around them. But everyone has to face the harsh realities of the world at some point.

The most powerful way to destabilize a narcissist is to challenge the bubble they feed into. Express your desire for more, or confront them about something. Refuse to comply with their demands and politely ask them to do something else. Any normal person will accept this and will likely be quick to compromise with you. Even someone with borderline personality disorder will be happy to cooperate with someone who offers them leadership.

But a narcissist is a completely different case. They are like dragons. Once you challenge their agenda and bring your needs and desires within their sphere of influence, they will cease their aggressive behavior. Their spark may even be extinguished entirely. The atmosphere will turn icy, and you will confront the true narcissist. They may erupt in a fit of rage and unleash it upon you.

Then you will face a difficult decision.