I gained little from my relationship with a covert narcissist except deep regret.
But I did learn something.
Write about narcissism. When you write about something as depressing as narcissism, it’s important to be alert to any glimmer of hope.
So, here’s the valuable lesson I learned from my covert narcissist:
No one can comfort you.
It’s your job to comfort yourself. No one else can do it for you.
No one wants to do it, no matter what you think.
No matter what promises you make.
It’s your job.
Recognize it’s your job, don’t run away from it, don’t delude yourself with promises of salvation, and don’t pretend there’s a savior on the horizon who will comfort you.
Related : How Loving A Narcissists Feels Like?
Love won’t comfort you.
You have to be okay first, and then love will come.
Not the other way around.
This isn’t an invitation to isolation, nor a fountain of doubt shouting, “Don’t trust anyone!”
We live in a world of interconnected relationships. Love. Trust. Connection.
This is simply what I learned from a difficult experience.
Your task is to make yourself well. It is the most important task you will ever perform in your life. To experience the joy of love, family, or community, you must first be well.
No one benefits from believing in superstitions after childhood.
In our society, you have roughly twenty years of being cared for by someone.
This is called childhood and the beginning of adulthood, and it’s the perfect time to learn about it.
Your parents are the only ones who will want to care for you, and you will outlive them.
We all need to grow and heal.
No one can complete you but yourself.
If you’re very lucky, two people who have healed will find each other, and each will improve the other.
That’s true love, and it’s rarer than you think.
Neither love, nor religion, nor self-help books, nor excuses, nor sex, nor unhealthy food, nor drugs, nor anything else will fix you.
Rely on yourself. Take your own hands and create a refuge for yourself, literally or figuratively, it doesn’t matter.
Related : Why the Narcissist Comes Back After Months
Build yourself a refuge, and you will find not happiness, which is fleeting and rare, but contentment, which is not.
They say: If you want something done perfectly, do it yourself.
Love. Trust. Communication.
Seize the opportunity.
But remember, things are getting worse, and you have to build your own boat, or you’ll drown in your own tears.
You have all the power.
You always have.
Get up.
And use it.
