Narcissists often step forward to appear dominant, controlling, and arrogant. This is an attempt to appear powerful and in control, and it’s a form of self-assurance. They may also step forward to avoid emotional attachment and emotional compromise. Narcissists often struggle with empathy and honest communication.
One of the most irritating habits of narcissists has to be their darting off.
You’re supposed to be having a peaceful day. Maybe a quiet walk, a stroll around town. But the narcissist ruins it by running ahead of them.
You ask them to slow down, but they don’t. Instead, you get lectured about your slow gait. They continue their reckless pace. They may even speed up.
This turns your day into a nightmare. Instead of a leisurely stroll, you’re relentlessly chasing them. And as soon as you catch up, they’re off again.
Related : Narcissists Sense Of Entitlement
It’s frustrating, pointless, and confusing. Why does the narcissist step forward like this? Can’t they just relax and enjoy the day? Doesn’t he want to appear with me? What’s going on?
There are several reasons why narcissists push forward. Not all of them apply to every narcissist. But you’ll find that the answer is a combination of these reasons…
Competition
Narcissists need to prove themselves all the time. So they make everything a competition. Even the simplest act of walking.
Some narcissists compete to prove their physical prowess. Because if they walk faster than you, it means they’re superior.
It doesn’t matter that they’re a foot taller than you. You’re not competing with them. The narcissist feels proud of letting you flounder in their wake. Even if it ruins your day.
In the narcissist’s mind, they’re faster than you. They’re leading. So they must be superior.
Narcissists_Control
Narcissists are obsessed with control, especially with those close to them. They may want to completely control you and your day.
Fast-forwarding gives them this control. Because you can’t do anything but follow them.
Related : The Narcissist And The Screwdriver
You can’t stop to look at things, or enjoy the view. You can’t even ask to go anywhere you want. Because they can’t hear you when they’re 20 steps away.
When they advance, the narcissist controls where you go, how long you stop, and when you get home. This is close to total control.
Narcissists Lack Connection
Narcissists suffer from “low empathy,” which means they have difficulty connecting with others.
When we walk with someone, we find a mutually comfortable pace and stick to it. When we talk with someone, we find common topics to discuss and give each other space to talk. But narcissists don’t do these things.
Narcissists talk to you. They go at their own pace. They don’t think about your feelings because their only concern is themselves. If you remind them to slow down, they may slow down a bit—if you’re lucky. But they quickly forget and return to their frantic pace.
The narcissist may have left home with you. But they aren’t really with you, due to their one-sided thinking. And you can feel it.
Ghosts From Their Past
Narcissists often accumulate enemies throughout their lives, due to their narcissistic behavior. But they may not want you to know about them. They want to appear more “normal” than they actually are.
So they may race ahead, fearing they’ll bump into someone. Then they have a chance to leave before you catch up.
Impatient Narcissists
Most narcissists are impatient. They can’t stop smelling the roses. Or taking their time. Or waiting for others. They must rush everything they do.
Their life is a routine exercise, where they complete “tasks” as quickly as possible, then cross them out when they’re completed.
They put little thought, care, or patience into it. That’s why you might hear them sighing intermittently in frustration when doing chores and exploding with anger at the slightest setback. These narcissists focus solely on the goal, not the journey. Anything that gets in their way is often met with a torrent of anger.
To the narcissist, your journey is just another task to be accomplished. In their mind, why is it taking longer than necessary? They don’t understand the meaning of taking their time and enjoying the moment.
They Don’t Want To Be Seen With You
Some narcissists make advances because they don’t want to be seen with you. This may be because they’re having an affair, or they’re looking for talent—away from your prying eyes.
The narcissist may feel “more attractive than studying.” They imagine they’re still young, free, and single. Even though he’s married, in his forties, and looks like an aging pirate,
He moves on so fast that he’s never seen with his partner and children. Because that would tarnish his “rock star” image!
Conclusion
It’s infuriating when narcissists advance and ruin their days. It’s ridiculous to chase them around in public, especially when everyone else is enjoying themselves with their loved ones.
If a narcissist can’t outsmart you, they may take the opposite approach and trail behind you. But the same rules apply.
Related : The Pros And Cons Of Narcissist Leaders
The narcissist controls you because they know you won’t move away. In fact, they enjoy your discomfort and have to constantly check their whereabouts.
The narcissist wins these powerful dynamics because they will walk away and leave you. But they know you won’t. They simply use your sympathy against you.
Nothing is easy with narcissists, as you’re sure you know. Everything is competition, manipulation, and a power play. Even just walking.
