Breaking up with a narcissist poses unique challenges. They lack empathy and have the emotional intelligence of a child.

If you’ve broken up with a narcissist, or are considering breaking up with one, it’s important to know what to expect. Breaking up is hard enough already, without the added problems narcissists throw at you.

Here’s what to expect after breaking up with a narcissist…

They Take Off Their Masks

Narcissists often take off their masks when a relationship ends, revealing more of their narcissistic side.

While narcissists reveal more of their narcissism to their partners, they still hide some of it. Otherwise, even the most patient couples would be hurt.

After a relationship ends, they may take off their masks and reveal more of their ugly side, especially if they ended the relationship. Because they have nothing to lose now.

A narcissist may change so much that you wonder who they are and did you really know them?

Related : What Narcissists Say To Shut Down Discussion About Narcissism

This is inherently disturbing, confusing, and difficult to believe. Who would pretend to be someone else?

Discredit Your Reputation

As narcissists reveal more of their narcissism to their partners, they know you have information they don’t want to reveal. But now that you’re no longer a normal person, you’re more likely to speak up. So, narcissists resort to damage control, which usually involves discrediting their ex.

Narcissists make it their mission to tell everyone that you’re the problem, not them. They may exaggerate or outright lie about what you said or did, suggesting that you’re crazy and untrustworthy.

This discrediting allows narcissists to save face and keep their reputation intact. People can’t be sure you’re telling the truth when you reveal their dark side. Therefore, they often dismiss it as mere envy, rather than believing you.

So, you may find some people avoiding you or spreading gossip behind your back. Because they believe the narcissist’s version of events.

In this case, there’s no point in engaging in politics against the narcissist. Conflict energizes them, while it drains you. Instead, focus on healing and moving forward. The right people will be on your side. And you’ll benefit from working on yourself, rather than getting drawn into a battle with the narcissist.

Stall You

If you leave the narcissist, they may stalk you. They may regularly drive past your house. They monitor your social media accounts. They wait outside your work. They may even show up at your door.

Narcissists feel deeply offended if you walk away from them. They want to believe they’re great. But no one leaves someone as special as they portray themselves to be.

Leaving them ruins their dreams and threatens their exaggerated fantasies. So, they may desperately try to win you back, just to save face. They may lure you back, then quickly end the relationship, just to snatch the “win” from you.

Related : If You’re Missing The Narcissist…

Narcissists must control their relationships. But your withdrawal threatens their control, which leads some narcissists to pursue them, as it allows them to regain some sense of control.

If you are being pursued, it’s worth registering your concerns with the police. This allows you to have an open dialogue to report your concerns in the future. It also provides evidence if things escalate.

Hold Your Possessions Hold For Redemption

If a narcissist wants you back, they may hold your possessions hostage and refuse to return them.

Narcissists are well aware of power games. This is how they live. They know that holding onto your valuables means they have power. They can threaten to destroy them or use them as a carrot to lure you back.

A narcissist may insist on spending time with you to retrieve your belongings, allowing them to open a dialogue and manipulate you. They may not return them anyway, as this would undermine their power.

If you can, leave these things behind. Material possessions are not worth your mental health. A narcissist will likely send you into a tailspin before returning them.

On the other hand, narcissists may leave their belongings with you and then insist you return them, just to create an excuse to see you again. So if this happens, make sure they take these items with them when they leave. Or better yet, drop them off and leave.

Weaponize Children

If you share your children, they are likely to use them to influence you, especially if they want you back. Narcissists know you must allow them to see their children. So when their presence decreases, they often decide they miss their children and use that as an excuse to see you.

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There may be a recurring pattern: they visit their children regularly, then disappear for months, then reappear as if nothing happened. When they do visit, they’re more interested in talking to you than spending time with their children.

No Conclusion

Narcissists rarely end relationships. This is because they lack empathy, but also because they want options.

Narcissists know that unanswered questions make you yearn for the truth. So when their presence decreases, they can exploit this to lure you into spending time with them. These unanswered questions can also make you feel like the relationship isn’t truly over.

Most narcissists hate being single. So they look for options. Then they can quickly build a new relationship if their current one goes south. They may prevent you from finding a solution to your problem, just to keep you in the background. However, you should never seek a solution from a narcissist.

As you know, narcissists aren’t the most honest people. Closing discussions are likely to be filled with lies and blame-shifting. So, you won’t get real closure; it’ll just be their biased, distorted version, designed to make them look good while you look bad. So, it’s not worth tricking them into getting it.

The best closure you can realistically get is to learn as much as you can about the narcissist’s behaviors, motivations, and patterns. This reveals much more about your relationship than the narcissist admits.

Narcissists are surprisingly resilient once you learn their patterns. So, you’re likely to understand most of their actions once you learn how they operate. This helps tremendously in closing things off and moving on.

Find Someone Other Immediately

Since narcissists hate being single, they usually find a new relationship almost immediately. This may be an ex they’ve kept in the background. One of their “friends” they were setting up, or a romantic relationship, if that’s what they were planning.

Related : The Angry Stage Of Healing From A Narcissist Relationship

It can be shocking to see them leave your life so quickly, as if nothing had happened. Especially if you’ve been in a long-term relationship.

Unfortunately, narcissists have little loyalty. Their only thoughts are self-serving. So, they often find a quick replacement, rather than taking the time to heal and figure things out, or respectfully allowing time before moving on.

Narcissists are also quick to brag about their new relationships. They may show up at places they know you go and post photos on social media.

This is to show you and everyone else that they don’t need you. It’s to save face. And they know this can hurt you, too. Just remember that no matter how flattering the photos may seem, the narcissist will treat them the same way they treated you, over time.

HOOVER

Narcissists are known for considering their partners as their property. This doesn’t change after the relationship ends. So it’s common for narcissists to socialize, even months or years later.

If a narcissist is covert, they may call or text you “by mistake.” Or they may bump into you somewhere they know you’ll be.

Narcissists typically socialize when they’re running low on people. Maybe their relationship is over, or they’re bored and want some extra excitement.

In the mind of a narcissist, the relationship isn’t really over. They feel like they own their exes. They also realize that rekindling old relationships is easier than building new ones.

Related : How To Build Your Assertiveness After A Narcissist Relationship

So when they’re single, they may resort to socializing with multiple exes, hoping at least one will bite. So don’t think they’re contacting you because they think you’re special. They just need attention.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve broken free from a narcissist, don’t look back. Take time to heal and recharge. And work on yourself to change.

If a narcissist wants you back, they may promise you great things and claim to have changed. They will tell you that things will be different this time.

Unfortunately, this is likely not true. These are just words designed to win you back. While they may change temporarily, they often return to normal after a while.

In fact, narcissists often treat their partners worse after they get back together. Please click the following link to learn why narcissists treat you worse after they get back together…