It’s common for narcissists to disrupt people’s sleep. There are many ways they do this.

They might start a fight right before bedtime. Or they might go on a rampage early in the morning, or late at night. Or they might aggressively nag you to wake up. But, hypocritically, they’ll scream incessantly if you tiptoe past them and accidentally wake them up.

Why do narcissists insist on keeping you awake? Is it intentional? What’s going on? Here’s why narcissists disrupt your sleep…

Narcissists Need Attention

Most narcissists can’t go more than a few minutes without attention. So, your sleep is a major inconvenience because you can’t give them attention while you’re asleep.

It’s no surprise that narcissists’ needs come first. Their need for attention trumps your need for sleep. They won’t hesitate to wake you up to get what they want, no matter how tired or busy you are.

Narcissists See You as Just an Object

Narcissists typically view others as objects, not people. It’s as if everyone is a non-playable character in their story.

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They won’t hesitate to turn on the toaster in the middle of the night if you want toast. Likewise, narcissists don’t hesitate to wake you up if they need you.

Narcissists: Their Lack of Boundaries

Narcissists’ lack of empathy makes it difficult for them to appreciate other people’s boundaries, especially if you’re close to them.

In the mind of a narcissist, you’re part of them. So if they want something from you, they have to get it no matter what. But that energy changes when you want something from them!

Narcissists only see their own desires and needs. So if they want to wake you up, they have no problem waking you up. Because they believe you should wake up to serve them. They don’t care how inconvenient it might be.

To Convince You To Agree

Narcissists know that you’re not thinking clearly when you wake up. So, if they want you to agree to something, they may wake you up to “ask.”

You might fool them into thinking they’re eager for an answer. But they know what they’re doing. They want you to agree to something you wouldn’t normally agree to. So, they hope you’ll agree without thinking, even as you wake up.

Power Games

Narcissists always want the upper hand in relationships. So, they undermine their partners to give them the advantage. This is why they lower their self-esteem and criticize them when they try to improve themselves.

Disrupting your sleep weakens you. It puts you in a state of stupor and makes you lose your ability to fight. This allows narcissists to manipulate and control more easily.

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This is another reason why narcissists don’t mind waking you up, but get extremely angry when you wake them up. They want to be in control, and their energy is on the rise, while you’re a tired, mindless zombie.

To Stir Drama

If a narcissist knows you’re excited, they may wake you up to create drama. As you probably know, most narcissists get bored easily, especially when things are quiet. So they seek to spice things up.

Waking you up can cause immediate conflict if you react. Giving the narcissist a quick dose of drama will excite and warm them up.

So you might think you’re doing yourself a favor by telling them what’s on your mind when you wake up. That’s what most people think. But it can actually work to their advantage.

To Prove Themselves

For narcissists, almost everything is a competition. Some pride themselves on how little sleep they need.

However, if you’re asleep and they’re gone, no one can prove their superiority. So they might wake you up, just to show you they’re awake. I know this is crazy!

One trick I’ve seen narcissists do is vacuum at unusual times. Like early morning or late at night. This is the noisiest of household chores. They also don’t have to do any actual work. They just sit there and the vacuum cleaner runs!

These narcissists often sleep more than they show. So they might wake you up as soon as they wake up, claiming they’ve been awake for hours.

Punish

Narcissists consider themselves the arbiters of right and wrong. They have the authority to punish as they see fit.

However, they are extremely sensitive. Things that seem innocent can trigger their anger, leading them to punish things that most people would consider trivial.

Narcissists often neglect to mention what hurts them. Or they even punish. Perhaps because they know deep down that they are being unreasonable.

Instead, they punish passive-aggressively to avoid rational discussion. Therefore, their unreasonable demands should not be discussed openly.

One form of punishment used by narcissists is sleep disruption. They may keep you awake, as revenge for something you supposedly did wrong, even if you don’t know what you did. Or they may even punish you.

To Feel Powerful

Narcissists love feeling powerful. That’s why many are drawn to weapons, positions of power, and people weaker than themselves.

Waking you up satisfies their lust for power. They can instantly alter your conscious state. Just by making a sound or turning on a light.

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Some narcissists enjoy this. That’s why they may wake you up for no apparent reason. They just want to exert power over you. And waking you up is one of the easiest ways to do that.

Final_Thoughts

As with most things, narcissists have a rule for you and a rule for themselves. So they’re allowed to wake you up whenever they want. But you’re forbidden from waking them up. And they don’t see the hypocrisy in this.

Narcissists use sleep as a weapon to keep you under control. Their lack of empathy prevents them from attending to your need for sleep anyway.

Sadly, when you’re in a narcissistic relationship, they wear you down. Some of it is intentional, some of it is selfish. This can go on for years, without any relief. Even in your sleep.