You may think you miss the narcissist, but you probably don’t.
You may miss having someone by your side, being part of a relationship. But narcissists aren’t there for you. These aren’t real relationships. They’re one-sided, and they’re in it for their own benefit.
A narcissist’s job is to take as much as they can while giving as little as possible. So, they’re actually draining you, rather than offering you anything meaningful.
If you still feel like you miss them, you’re probably missing their false self. This is the person who pretended to be nice. This is the person who pretended to be your perfect partner when you were first love-bombed. And the “nice” one when they felt they’d pushed you too far.
Narcissists spend years polishing their facade to attract support. Their true self is cold and uncaring. This is the person who ignored you in your time of need. This is the person who attacked you when you were at your worst. This is the person who made you question your sanity.
Many people are fooled into believing that narcissists are the ones who act nice. This is just a passing slip when they are narcissists. But the opposite is true.
Narcissists know what they’re doing. They don’t just want to take from you; they also want to treat you as badly as possible, without pushing you away.
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Narcissists need attention like we need air. So they want to hurt you as much as possible, without you leaving. Otherwise, they’ll have to find a new source. This takes time and effort. So, they aim to push you beyond your limits.
If they feel they’ve pushed you too far, they may retreat to acting nice for a while. To maintain your kindness, you stay with them, providing them with support.
Narcissists lack emotional empathy. So, they never connect with you emotionally. This means they don’t feel your pain or share your joy. So, they’re unable to give you the loving relationship you need and deserve.
A narcissist may claim to have changed, and may even offer proof. But more often than not, this is just a ploy to get you back. Once they achieve this, they revert back to normal, only worse than the last time.
As I mentioned earlier, narcissists treat you as badly as they can get away with. So, if you return to them, it’s a green light to treat you even worse. Because, in their eyes, it means you’re okay with their previous abuse. Otherwise, why would you return to them?
Once they’ve settled in, they’re likely to treat you even worse than before. Many victims of narcissistic relationships confirm this. So, if the last time was bad, think about how the next time will be.
You may feel alone, or you may miss that vital connection. But trust me, it’s better than getting a narcissist back. Because at least you’re in control of your life, and you have the space to find someone more deserving of you.
Narcissists prevent you from meeting caring and compassionate people. Because their demands consume most of your time and energy, they often isolate their partners. So, you have a small chance of meeting new people who might truly care about you.
Make time for self-improvement. Join a gym. Enroll in a class. Take up new hobbies.
This will greatly boost your self-confidence and self-esteem, help you grow as a person, and give you the opportunity to meet like-minded people. Who knows, you might even meet someone who’s actually capable of building a true love relationship. And if not, you’re still giving yourself love and care, which is more than you’d expect from a narcissist.
