When night falls, all you want to do is close your eyes and relax. I get it. The days can be long, and being with a narcissist makes them even longer.

You’re tired of hearing their nagging and complaining, and you just want to sleep.

So how do you do it? What’s the secret?

Before you’re completely blown off your mind, let’s take a look at the last thing you should say to a narcissist at night.

Here’s where your line is!

Day Goes

I don’t want to assume I know exactly what your day is like with the narcissist you know. I think these words might sum it up:

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Stressful.

Long.

Tired.

Emotional.

Empty.

Hopeful.

Sad.

Anxious. Depressed.

You get to the end of the day and think to yourself, “Well, that’s the last day.”

What’s a narcissist’s mood like? Have they had one of their calmer days, or have their mood swings been uncontrollable?

Like many victims of narcissistic abuse, if things were calmer, would that only worry you and make you think it was the calm before the storm?

I Want Peace

There is no peace with a narcissist. They’re eager to create an argument, or a stressful situation that you long to escape, but can’t.

So, the clock ticks toward bedtime, and finally, the moment you’ve been waiting for arrives.

You turn to the narcissist, and you see it in his eyes.

He won’t sleep. He wants to stay up late over and over again for things that don’t matter, or things you know he’s imagining.

You’re certainly not the only one who’s tired, yet they won’t give up.

So what do you do? What do you say?

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How do you sleep when you know they’ll finally stop bothering you?

“I won’t talk anymore. I’ll talk tomorrow.”

I know you think this might not be effective, but effectiveness comes from sticking to your word and not letting them talk you out of it.

They can do whatever they want, but without your input, they can’t argue if you’re tossing and turning, right?

Telling the narcissist that boundaries have been set will give you the peace you deserve.

They can yell and rant as much as they want. If you cut them off, they’ll have nowhere to go.

Shut Them Up

Silencing a narcissist isn’t easy. The last thing you want to do is be rude or aggressive. This often ends in disaster, and what you do actually makes things worse for you.

There are ways, and while they may not be obvious to you, they’re always there.

Remember, narcissists want control. They enjoy it, and they love the feeling of knowing they’ve betrayed you.

What do they do when you tell them that’s it, that you’re going to sleep?

This completely negates their desire to control, whether they like it or not.

Refuse To Drift

When you refuse to drift, you empower yourself with the fact that you can manage things however you want.

You can decide how your day ends. You can firmly decide that enough is enough.

Through all the years I’ve studied narcissism and listened to the stories of many victims of narcissistic abuse, I’ve come to understand that all narcissists love to punish.

Yes, this punishment may look like the usual silence, yelling, guilt trips, psychological manipulation, or further isolation.

But you know what else? People tend to forget this:

Narcissists can punish you by depriving you of sleep.

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Sleep is so important! We all need it, even narcissists! But they’d rather deprive you of an hour, two, three, or more if it means sticking with an argument they can’t stand.

Sure, they could ditch you. Just say you’ll talk about it tomorrow and agree to take a break.

But no.

This could go on all night if they wanted. After all, the darkness of night adds drama to everything, doesn’t it?

Including the desire to draw out negativity.

What about it?

Refuse to be drawn into these thoughts.

Your Time Is Precious

What are your plans for tomorrow? What’s your schedule? Are you starting early?

Do you have a long work day? Do you have an important course or exam to update your work files?

It won’t matter to the narcissist at all, but your time is valuable and it matters to you.

I want you to understand this very clearly. Few victims of narcissistic abuse are accustomed to putting themselves above all else.

They’ll stay up late and give the narcissist what he wants.

Conversation.

Time.

Platform.

But what happens the next morning, when you’re overwhelmed by a fog of thought and fatigue?

If you’re not feeling refreshed, you’re even more vulnerable to the narcissist’s control and manipulation than before.

Love Of Control

It’s all about how much control they have over you. The more, the better, and I’m not really satisfied with that. I’ve spoken to hundreds of people who have been affected by narcissists. They all say the same thing:

(Name of narcissist) loves control.

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No matter the situation, the control must be strong and effective.

This affects daily life, doesn’t it? Furthermore, it also affects nighttime.

I see a common thread among victims after a breakup with a narcissist: difficulty sleeping. We explore this together, and it always boils down to the same thing:

Their nervous systems are completely messed up. They’re on high alert, all the time, for anything and everything.

They can’t relax, and when they do, they wake up an hour later with a racing heart.

It’s okay with you, except you’ve been subjected to narcissism for too long. Once they’ve gotten rid of it, it’s time for them to heal.

You can be like them. No one should keep you up all night, wanting to steal more of your mental power.