Has someone you love begged you to leave the narcissist? You probably hear these words a lot:
Please leave.
You need to leave before you waste any more time.
For your own good, let them go and move on.
So what? Did you ignore them? Why? What are you trying to deny?
Being with a narcissist will strip you of any strong decision-making skills you once possessed, leaving you feeling defeated.
But here are 11 reasons why you should leave ASAP.
When It’s The Time
Did you know you can lurk around a narcissist for years?
Related : 14 Ways How Narcissists Are Paranoid
Truthfully, you can go on and on, without stepping back to assess the damage you’re doing to yourself.
That’s how it goes for so many. Victims come to me and say:
I stayed too long.
I wasted too much time.
I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t.
They made me stay.
I don’t want to be this person anymore.
I don’t know myself.
I wish I could take it all back.
And you know what I always say?
I say: It’s never too late to do what you so desperately want to do.
Leaving any abusive relationship can take time, especially if you’re trying to fix your financial situation or leave peacefully.
These 11 reasons are all signs that you need to take a decisive step and determine how quickly you want to move forward.
1 Discovering They’ll Never Change
This is hard to face, but eventually, all victims should realize that a narcissist will never change.
You may spend your life searching for the person you want, or even the person they promised you when you met.
But let me tell you, there’s no one like that at home. You can look into their eyes and see what you want to see, romanticizing everything they’ve told you.
The sooner you understand their lies, the better off you’ll be.
Victims have a clever way of portraying the narcissist, and what they portray is completely at odds with their true personality.
Related : Why Do Narcissists Start Fights For No Reason?
The problem begins when victims cling to this portrayal and treat it as if it were real.
Not so. It’s a design made up of their deceptive nature, a few empty loving gestures, and the rest is your own ideology.
They won’t be that canvas. They’ll never change.
2 Your Goals Have Faded
When was the last time you set a goal for yourself and committed to it? I bet it was a long time ago.
Since then, you’ve learned to keep quiet about where you want to go in your life and what you want to do with it.
Why?
Because the narcissist is always thwarting any ideas you have. Laugh at them, or even ridicule you for having a path ahead.
Where you want to plant seeds for your future, they want to uproot them and throw them in the trash.
After a certain period, you become programmed not to plant anything else.
You’re tired of trying, and you see no point. There’s no direction, so you’re free to wander and run, as if this is your original destiny.
It wasn’t.
And it’s time to leave.
3 They Escalate Every Problem
Known as the kings and queens of conflict, any problem you have will be exacerbated by narcissists.
It’s not fun to see, and I know from talking to many of the people I’ve helped so far that all they want is a peaceful home life.
But narcissists bring real challenges through the front door, testing even the most resilient people.
4 Things Get Physical
I don’t need to tell you that physical abuse is completely unacceptable.
Related ; 13 Reasons Why Confronting a Narcissist is a Waste of Time
Pushing. Pulling. Sexual assault. Hitting. Slapping. Grabbing. Pinning. If their hands are on you and you don’t want them to be, you’re in a position of physical abuse.
This is reason to end the relationship immediately, and I hope you agree.
5 You’ve had enough.
You’ve taken it too far, and there’s no going back.
You know, it happens, and it can happen to you. A combination of everything is emotionally draining, draining you like a closed bathtub.
And I don’t want you to underestimate this.
This is a big deal. And it still counts as reason enough to break up.
6 Infidelity
Infidelity creates conflict. Some believe a relationship can be repaired after infidelity, while others believe otherwise.
It’s personal for each partner, but if there’s genuine remorse and a concerted effort to make changes, earn trust, and move on, it’s not impossible.
Since narcissists don’t act with a shred of remorse, the infidelity won’t stop. Now you’re asking yourself how valuable you feel.
7 Disrespect
I always think, if you’re like this in public, how are you like this behind closed doors?
This is unrealistic to me.
Related : 16 Scary Things Narcissists Do
I made it a reason to leave the narcissist because disrespect demonstrates that they don’t care about you or your well-being.
So why stay?
8 Intimidation
Is life worth living knowing you’re with someone who openly intimidates you?
They know they’re capable, they feel powerful when they do it, and they don’t even regret it.
That’s a firm no from me, and it should be from you too.
9 Bullying
They’re all bullies, so I don’t want you to think you’ve had bad luck with your narcissist.
They’ll bully and coerce, and they won’t back down. And it’ll all be behind closed doors where you can’t prove their bullying, and they can get away with it indefinitely.
Or at least until you say enough.
10 Your Anxiety Is Unbearable
Finally, you’ve realized the truth.
You associate your increased anxiety with the narcissist’s presence.
Related : How To Tell You Are In The Wrong Relationship Within 1 Minute
This will be a big day for you, and when they’re gone, your anxiety won’t go away immediately.
Your nervous system needs time to regulate itself.
But you’ll feel more at ease.
11 Depression: Who Are You?
You look in the mirror one day, and you don’t know who’s looking back.
Where did they go?
In reality, a gray cloud swept them away.
A weight of negativity weighed them down.
If you feel this depression, don’t ignore it. It’s not normal, and the problem is happening to you, not inside you.
