If you didn’t think narcissists were weird enough, this topic is bound to get a little heated.

I’m here to confirm that they are weird, and even weirder. But deeper than that, they’re even more mysterious and distorted than you might give them credit for.

Imagine being with someone who’s still trying to connect with their ex, or even their ex-girlfriend?

Can life be as peaceful as you wish it were, while your partner is constantly looking in the rearview mirror?

Why do they even do that?

Let’s investigate.

Leaving The Past

Nice idea, isn’t it? I know I like to live sober at all times, but when it comes to my ex—why?

Breakups happen for a reason, and getting back together or trying to connect with them only creates an atmosphere of trouble around you.

Related :, Emotional Monitoring: Is It Sabotaging Your Relationship? 5 Ways To Fix It

This isn’t normal. It’s not like the comfort of watching your favorite movie for the 164th time, but this comfort is what a narcissist craves when they connect with their ex.

They don’t care about the past; they just want to regain a sense of control.

Denial? Okay!

I personally think a big part of it is denial. While the narcissist denies a reality they’ve had to face, they’re left with that old automatic assumption that they can get what they want with just the click of a finger.

The world doesn’t work like that—and I know you know that.

Narcissists will never realize it.

So, yes, denial is real. And they’ll laugh in your face if you ask them if it’s not just plain sad about revisiting the past.

Bored? Sure!

It’s time to make a deal—let’s be serious here for a minute. Boredom hits us all at some point. I know if I’m stuck at home waiting for a package, I can find things to do, but I’m pressed for time. I don’t know when I can leave the house, or when it will arrive.

Waiting for the package to arrive bores me, but I find things to do to fill my time that are healthy, not harmful.

I don’t keep in touch with my exes. Instead, I organize some paperwork, tidy the house, or finally fix that leaky faucet that’s been bothering us all for two months.

The difference between someone with a healthy organizational system and someone who lacks any kind of organization.

Cycle Of Addiction ? Unfortunately… yes.

Narcissists love and are addicted to the cycle of abuse as much as they force their victims to be and feel it.

So, while the pull and push over time becomes so familiar that your body learns to accept it and perceives everything else as dangerous, the narcissist is addicted to controlling everything.

You can’t have one without the other, which is why so many people get stuck in these abusive patterns and relationships. Both need each other to survive.

The victim needs ups and downs to feel valued.

The narcissist needs the victim to gain control.

It’s a sad reality, but when you become a narcissist’s ex-girlfriend, they will still believe they can control you by constantly trying to connect with you and draw you in.

This vicious cycle of addiction can be broken with time and knowledge. What you once considered a threat may be safe for you.

You just have to realize how much you deserve this happiness.

Know When To Stop? Never!

They Have No Boundaries!

Narcissists believe they’re better than anyone, even everything. This includes boundaries.

If you think for even a moment that they’ll respect you when you tell them your boundaries, you’re wrong.

Yes, this can be a problem. The key is to stick with them anyway, and not care what they think.

For those who don’t want to offend, or are seeking to please others, of course you’ll lower your boundaries and answer that call or text.

Related :! How To Annoy A Passive Aggressive Person? 8 Tricks That Will Help You Deal With Them Like A Pro

But for the happiest possible ending for you, I urge you to block the messages and move on.

Obsession Can Become Dangerous

It’s not uncommon for a victim of narcissistic abuse to have to obtain a police order for their ex.

When a relationship ends and the narcissist doesn’t want to, prepare for some problems in some ways.

They may knock on your door wanting to talk to you. The calls or texts may be constant. They may come to your work wanting to see you during your lunch break.

They will recruit people you both know to check on you, and sometimes they may ask your family or friends to talk to you and try to convince you to meet and talk to them.

It may seem like an ongoing process, and that’s true for many unhappy people.

This is when you may feel trapped, as if you can’t even walk down the street without being bothered by something.

The narcissist can’t let go of you. Their power and control are slipping through their fingers, so they try to compensate for that loss by clinging to you tightly.

Need Support

That’s the crux of it, isn’t it?

Support.

Needing you. Knowing how much you’ve provided them with support and ego boosts throughout your time together.

They don’t have anyone else ready, so losing you makes them feel suffocated.

They’re struggling to breathe not because they’re short of air, but because they see your support as air.

The only thing you can do is keep starving them.

Eventually, the hunger is enough to cause them a major problem, and that’s when you start to feel better!

And if you’re that ex, you need to know where the past belongs, and don’t try to recapture the old feelings you had when you first met.

Those feelings were all based on lies and charm that surprised you.

So, let’s look deeper into you, ex, shall we?

Thank goodness you got away!

You: The Ex

Knowing you’re part of their past simply means they no longer have the same influence over you.

This is a sign that you need to remember why you ended the relationship, or why the relationship itself ended.

Don’t use this as an opportunity to check in on them. If it’s clear they’re finding coping a challenge, that’s their responsibility.

Related : Is She Playing You? 8 Signs Of A Female Player

It’s not your problem. You’re not their parent; you’re someone who wants a fresh start.

And if you spent all this time with a narcissist, you definitely deserve a fresh start!

Now is the time to be yourself. Don’t be fooled by their initiative to reach out, no matter how intense it may seem.

Just know that there’s support out there for you if you need it.

Block, delete, repeat.