Good morning!
How are you?
Did you sleep well?
If you’re with a narcissist, chances are you always go to bed with one eye open. What will he say or do next to upset you? How will he blame you today?
Narcissists reveal themselves a lot of the time. They like to think they’re perfect, sure.
But they’re not.
When they mess up — you finally see them for who they really are. And do you know when some of the best times to witness this revelation are?
Morning!
Barely awake, with all the guards off — you can spot them from a mile away.
Here’s how!
Why Morning ? Routine!
Connecting the dots is the best way to understand a narcissist’s obsession with their morning routine, and we start with cycles.
The cycle of each morning turning into a new day is one that a narcissist likes to know is coming.
They know what to expect, and they have their habits at their fingertips. It’s all there. But where does it come from?
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First, let’s break down the word cycle. Narcissists abuse their victims and follow the cycle of abuse that allows it.
I love you, you’re amazing.
Whatever.
I’m done here.
I’m sorry.
This is the cycle of almost every narcissistic relationship until it ends, but this cycle is familiar. It’s what narcissists love.
That’s why they’re such creatures of habit.
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Keep Your Eyes Open
If you’re unsure whether or not the person you’re dealing with is a narcissist, I ask you to open your eyes.
Pay attention to what’s happening and how they act. Does their behavior make you feel happy or not?
Have you changed as a person since you met them? Do you see your friends and family less? How is your self-esteem and confidence?
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Keeping your eyes open for potential narcissistic traits can help you answer these questions, and it all starts early in the morning.
10 Morning Habits: Beware!
1 Strict Routine
Narcissists love strict routines because they don’t necessarily have to predict what’s going to happen.
They like to plan their mornings carefully, so that nothing goes wrong that will make the rest of their day miserable.
A narcissist’s routine is likely to be nothing and no one will interfere with it or want to. That’s when you start to see the fiery, unforgiving side of the narcissist.
And of course – you’re the one who’s completely wrong.
2 Not Wanting to Be Disturbed
Waking up and starting your day can be a longer process for some than others, and not everyone likes to be disturbed at the start of the day.
Narcissists take this to a whole new level. If they’re busy setting up their ego and image for the day and you intrude with an emergency or general conversation, you’re going to hear about it.
Can’t you see that I’m getting ready?
How would you feel if I interrupted you while you were getting ready?
Prepare to be angry.
3 Ignore You
As for narcissists, who said they have to talk to you?!
It’s rude to live or work with someone like this, but they’ll quickly give away their true colors if they act this way.
Again – not everyone is an early riser, and I know I can wake up a little grumpy if I’ve had a bad night’s sleep.
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That’s a whole other story, and you should be prepared for it to some degree.
4 Focus on Their Day
Narcissists want every day to be perfect. If you try to stand in the way of that idea, you’ll pay an emotional penalty.
Being around someone who’s so exhausting is costly, and their toxicity will take away any enjoyment.
However – it’s surprising to see someone so focused on themselves that they don’t even pay attention to your day.
If you have an important meeting, or a job interview you’re preparing for, it’s a good idea to talk about it, or wish them luck.
But with narcissists – it’s never about you.
Never.
5 Building Their Image
What can I do to be the best I can be today?
How can I fool everyone?
In what ways can I appear better than those around me?
How can I impress people?
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All of these questions are running through the mind of a narcissist unconsciously as they start their day.
Who will they see that day? How can they present themselves? What can they do to gain more attention or respect from others?
Image is the most important aspect of a narcissist’s personality. Without it, they are just someone no one looks at or notices.
6 The Silent Treatment
If you are subjected to the silent treatment every morning, you will likely hear excuses such as:
I am tired.
I have a long day ahead of me.
I am just trying to get ready.
Why do you keep bothering me when I am eating breakfast?
You know I have a lot to plan for today.
It is your fault in some way, but the silent treatment will follow…
…and it is consistent.
7 Feel the Answers
What are your plans for today?
Who are you dating?
What are your hours?
Do you need to run to the store after work?
Are you going to be late getting home?
Shall we meet for lunch?
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These aren’t questions from someone who is interested or concerned — they want to map out your day so they know exactly where you’ll be when you say you’ll be there.
This is all about control, and they’ll do it every morning.
8 Making Empty Promises
I’d love to hang out with you after work tonight.
Should I book a table?
I can’t wait to call you at lunchtime and talk.
Promises like this every morning keep you happy all day long, and leave you with one hand on your phone ready for that call.
Except they don’t come through. They make excuses. They’re always too busy or tired to go out. They may even deny offering to do so.
9 Lazy? Possible!
If you dare take a day off, or without much planning, be prepared to be called out for it.
With narcissists frantically busy with their day, your day will seem a lot less chaotic.
And trust me when I say you’ll feel bad about it!
10 Empowering Their Role
Well, looks like I’m ready for another day of making money.
These bills aren’t going to pay for themselves.
It’s a good thing that the person who lives here is dedicated to their responsibilities.
I guess you’re not going to do anything all day?
I don’t expect you to wait for me. I have a busy day today.
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Again – these comments are guilt-ridden and designed to set your tone for the day.
Don’t you think it’s time to set your own tone?
You…
You should never sit in the seat of certainty when it comes to any narcissist. You won’t be there for long, because instead you’re destined for confusion.
Narcissists think and act differently, depending on their mood that day. If they feel like it, they’ll be nice.
If they’re nice, it’s because they want something from you.
If they’re not being nice, it’s because they need your supply. They love seeing you suffer.
Knowing what they really think about you will give you insight into their true character…
…and that’s not good.
1 Do you think you know them?
No one really knows a narcissist. The only person who does is the narcissist.
I don’t think it’s wise to assume you know everything about a highly toxic person.
After all, they love to change the goalposts so much that just when you feel like you’ve got them figured out, they change and shift the tide to suit them.
The same can be said about what they really think about you.
2 Live your best life, until…
They come!
The same goes for all narcissists. You’re happy until you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into.
Isn’t it a shame that you think a narcissist, the person who claims to have your best interests at heart, treats you the way they do?
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How can someone who says such loving things never demonstrate that love in a healthy way at all?
3 At Their Service Is Jealousy
It’s okay to be a little envious in life. It’s a natural response to someone who has something you would love to have.
For example, your friend could buy themselves a new vacation cottage with an amazing view.
Oh my god. I would love that. I’m jealous that you went there!
But that’s where it ends, right?
I mean – you have a choice. You can work hard to earn money for one. You can ask to stay there if you pay your way for the week.
Narcissists don’t envy – they get angry with jealousy.
They hate all the good in other people’s lives and will resent you for what you have.
Is that normal?
No!
Is that right?
Absolutely not!
4 “Look at you, all the happiness. This needs to stop…”
They hate your happiness. It works like a plague on them. They want to cut it off as quickly as possible, so they will do whatever it takes to ensure that any joy is fleeting.
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How dare they smile and make things go their way?!
The confusing part for you is that you think they love you. You automatically think that they will be happy when you receive good news, but that is far from the truth.
Any happiness has to come from something or someone other than them. That’s a huge threat. How can you allow that?!
Hindering your happiness can take many forms: ridiculing you until you stop, criticizing you until you don’t believe in yourself, or insulting you until you’re consumed with guilt about your happiness.
I could go on forever.
Imagine being around someone who hates seeing you so content.
5 “I can get away with anything!”
Forgiveness is an act done by people who can see the bigger picture. They want peace and understand that people make mistakes.
Asking for forgiveness can change how you view your mistakes if that forgiveness is later abused.
Those who sincerely apologize know that they won’t do it again to hurt the other person. That’s how it usually works, right?
Narcissists don’t care. They really don’t. They will abuse again and again.
They know they have several tricks to drown you in love that have proven to work.
There is no reason why these things can’t work again.
And you know what? While you continue to forgive, they will continue to abuse you.
6 They Don’t Love You
I know it’s hard to accept. Knowing you’re not loved takes a lot of hard work because you’re often in complete denial.
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Of course, they love me. They tell me they love me.
I know they love me. They wouldn’t have taken me on that expensive trip if they hadn’t.
You only learn the value of love when you’re on the currency the narcissist defines.
Love is not a currency. It doesn’t flow or fall. It stays.
I know it’s hard to admit the truth. All that emotional work you put into the relationship. All the ways you were vulnerable and shared your life with them.
I’m speaking the truth when I tell you that it was all a ploy to get you to play their game.
7 Threatening Your Success…
If a narcissist sees your success, they will want and need to put an end to it immediately.
Your success can be compared to a competition you don’t even realize you’re in. You excel, and the judges are watching.
Only the narcissist is also in it, and the judges aren’t looking at them at all.
Anger. Resentment. Envy. All of this will bubble to the surface.
So what does a narcissist do? When no one is watching, they sabotage what you create or create so that you fall down the rankings. They may steal what you have and use it for themselves.
This will get their attention!
They can’t stand seeing you get attention. To them, you don’t deserve happiness because it’s not something they personally earn for themselves.
What a dangerous and toxic trait, isn’t it?
Well…welcome to the world of the narcissist.
8…happy when you fail!
People who enjoy parties will continue to enjoy them if the narcissist gets their way. When they fail, it’s not something they necessarily or openly laugh about (although it can happen). Instead, they’ll quietly smile in the corner of a dark room. They don’t want others to see their joy, but that won’t stop them from feeling it.
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You might think that someone who claims to care about you would collapse with worry if you were depressed, sad, failing, or having a terrible day.
Nope.
Narcissists love that. They love to see you fall because when you do, you land at the bottom of the pile, right where narcissists reside.
Knowing that they have companions makes them feel better, and seeing your misery or disappointment will ensure a big smile on their face—one that’s hard to wipe away.
