Narcissistic abuse is still alive and kicking in one in five relationships right now. That’s a scary number, isn’t it?

Knowing that you probably know someone who has had to deal with their partner’s toxic treatment is a very real thing to deal with.

So what do you think of when you hear the words narcissistic abuse?

Hitting? Yelling? Well, that can include those horrible aspects – but it goes much deeper.

I want to show you exactly how deep this misery runs, with 10 perfect examples of narcissistic abuse.

Narcissistic Abuse Is Still Abuse

I know it may not seem like it – but when you break down all the different forms of abuse and put them together – that’s exactly what narcissistic abuse looks like.

Sexual, physical, emotional, mental, financial neglect – all of these things add up to living with a narcissist, and over the years they can have a devastating impact on their victims.

As you read these examples, I want you to feel if they’ve ever affected you or affected you.

It’s never too late to seek help, and it’s never too late to start over.

10 Perfect Examples of Narcissistic Abuse

1 Silence

I know many survivors of narcissistic abuse who admit that one of the worst parts of the abuse was when they received the silent treatment.

It’s really damaging, and it’s done in a way that creates absolute fear and terror in the person receiving it.

The silent treatment happens whenever the narcissist feels like it, and what does that do to the victim?

It makes them feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells.

They wait for the mood to change.

They dwell on why.

They blame themselves.

They feel guilty, because they know they “caused it.”

And what do narcissists think/do?

Well, they love it! Why wouldn’t they? Every time they ignore you, they watch you squirm and get angry.

They take away your good days, and replace them with bad days.

2 Emotional Manipulation

Life can become unfair and unjust very quickly when narcissists distort your reality.

In a clear attempt to manipulate your mind and change your reality, they will not hesitate to manipulate you.

This can be done in a variety of ways, and I want to show you a few ways now.

Manipulation:

Your memory may be questioned. The narcissist wants you to remember an event or conversation their way, so they will erase your memory of it by calling you forgetful, or telling you that it “didn’t happen that way.” You quickly agree because you trust them wrongly.

They may themselves become confused by what you say or do, in an attempt to make you doubt yourself. This happens, and you almost apologize for making them feel this way (and well, they get what they want!)

They refuse to listen to you, making you believe that what you are saying is actually wrong. You agree with their opinion or idea instead, because it is much easier than fighting for your opinion or lived experience.

They deny knowing what you are talking about, even if it is something innocent. They see that you are excited or enthusiastic, and they want to get that feeling out of you as soon as possible. And the only way to do that is to crush you.

Narcissists can tell that you are overly sensitive. You’re overreacting, and you’re intentionally trying to confuse them. This blame is unrealistic, but it works, as the victim backs down.

3 Criticism

All narcissists criticize wherever they can, and they say any mean things they can think of just to bring you down a little bit.

Do you deserve it? No! You don’t deserve any kind of abuse, but you mostly don’t deserve to be treated in a way that completely destroys you out of nowhere.

Whether it’s about how you look, what you say, what you like, who you choose to spend time with, what your hobbies are, or what your job is – the narcissist will find a way to make fun of it.

4 “I was just kidding”

Hey, narcissist, stop making ridiculous excuses for why you’re such a terrible person!

Jokes are supposed to be fun and enjoyed by all people. When you make someone the butt of a joke, it’s no longer a joke.

It’s a way for narcissists to let themselves escape their cruelty and disguise it as a joke.

It’s not.

5 “You don’t need them”

Pushing you away from people you care about in the hopes that it will leave you isolated from your support system is a huge red flag — and a sign of narcissistic abuse.

Narcissists want you to be alone, so any way they treat you can be yours to deal with on your own.

If that sounds alarming, that’s because it is.

6 Anger

We all get upset from time to time, but being intentionally angry at someone else is terrifying, unnecessary, and unpleasant.

Being so angry that you explode, knowing that you’ll upset that person, is toxic. Narcissists do this to get a reaction, and that reaction is fear.

Anger comes from an inability to process emotions properly, and a desire to intimidate the people you claim to love or care about.

7 You’re Hot and Then You’re Cold

I hear all victims of narcissistic abuse say, “Which mood is it today?”

The truth is, you never know. The narcissist will never tell you what mood they’ll be in. It’s always up to you to walk on eggshells to figure that out.

8 Love/Sex Bombing

While male narcissists tend to love bombard their victims, female narcissists prefer to use sex as a weapon of seduction for their victims.

It works to set them up—and it creates attachment bonds that are hard to break.

While it may seem like love—it’s all an act.

9 Guilt

Narcissists will use any means possible to make you feel guilty. If you say something they consider out of context or insensitive (what an irony…), they will make you feel bad for it.

If you accuse them of anything, or complain about them being late, they will offer you the following line: “I work so hard to put food on the table, no wonder I work all the hours I can get.”

If you forget an important event or meeting, they will not hesitate to remind you. And if you do the same, they will make you feel bad simply by suggesting that they owe you an apology.

Narcissists love guilt. This means they can project all their inner self-loathing onto you, and watch you crumble as a result.

10 It’s All in a Cycle

If I could describe the cycle of narcissistic abuse in a few words, it would be:

I love you, you’re annoying, I’m sick of this, you’ve changed.

This is the cycle that goes round and round and round, and like a sock caught in the washing machine, you get stuck in it.

This is why you often hear about people who “can’t leave,” or “don’t know how to leave.”

The abuse lies in the hesitation—and only you can change that.