As we know, narcissists are people who tend to inflate their importance, lack empathy for others, and need constant validation (1). How is a somatic narcissist different?
The word “somatic” means “related to the body,” so somatic narcissism involves an extreme preoccupation or obsession with physical appearance and sexual attractiveness (2).
A somatic narcissist uses their body and the physical space around them as a means of expressing their narcissism.
Their superiority and sense of entitlement come from their perception of their physical self.
They believe they are more beautiful, stronger, and fit than others (3). Showing off their bodies, flexing their muscles, and bragging about how many times people flirt with them is typical behavior.
What is a somatic narcissist
They are obsessed with their appearance and believe that you should be too.
They use their particularly beautiful appearance to manipulate and believe that they deserve privilege over others (4).
A somatic narcissist will overvalue their appearance and spend a lot of time and money on it.
They may appear arrogant and grandiose about their appearance or sexual attractiveness but underneath their flashy exterior, they are actually very insecure about it.
They have a high need for attention and approval for these characteristics, so they will be very sensitive to criticism of their bodies and sexuality.
They may also be very jealous of other attractive people and competitive about physical appearance and fitness.
They are someone who prioritizes their appearance above all else to the point of an obsessive, disturbing degree.
It is never enough for them. They will never stop trying to maintain or improve their appearance.
It is about deep insecurities about their physical appearance, which is synonymous with general narcissism.
How is a somatic narcissist different?
Some experts have classified narcissists into three different groups:
Cerebral narcissists – feel superior because of their intelligence
Sexual narcissists – gain their sense of entitlement from sexual situations
Somatic narcissists – feel more worthy than others because of their physical appearance
These are not clinical terms, nor are they validated psychological concepts supported by peer-reviewed research,
In fact, a narcissist does not have to be just one of these types.
A person can have two or more types. However, there is usually one dominant type (5).
Somatic narcissists vs. sexual narcissists
Somatic narcissism can also include sexual narcissism, but there is often much more to it.
Both express narcissism through their bodies, but somatic narcissists do not need this expression to be sexually charged.
Sexual narcissists enjoy seducing people, sometimes as many as possible, and showing that others find them sexually attractive.
Somatic narcissists may feel sexually entitled and treat their partners as objects to stroke their ego, but they are not as obsessive as sexual narcissists.
Somatic Narcissists vs. Mental Narcissists
Mental narcissists get their narcissistic energy from feeling smarter and more intelligent than others.
They love to brag about important and difficult words, or mention the books they have read.
While mental narcissists get their sense of importance from their minds, somatic narcissists rely on their physical bodies.
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They aim to impress you with their body or the number of people who look at them and need approval in those areas.
10 Signs Someone Has Somatic Narcissistic Personality Disorder
You wouldn’t be able to keep a running list of all the signs and symptoms people display, and a person with somatic narcissistic personality disorder may not display all of them.
But if you’re not sure if you’re dealing with someone with somatic narcissistic personality disorder, here are some signs to look out for:
They’re obsessed with food, weight, and fitness – People with somatic narcissistic personality disorder may spend a lot of time sharing and talking about activities like going to the gym and dieting (6).
Plastic surgery is very popular among some people with somatic narcissistic personality disorder, as they will do whatever it takes to make sure they look impressive.
A person with somatic narcissistic personality disorder may brag or seek out compliments about their physical appearance.
- Showing extreme vanity
They may have trouble overspending on things like high-end clothing, designer products, and gym equipment.
They often drive expensive cars and live in wealthy neighborhoods.
Like anyone else, they may not be able to afford it. However, they will get into debt if that’s what it takes to get the image they want to project.
- Uses their physical attractiveness and sex to exploit others
They will intentionally flirt with people to get what they want or to get out of situations.
They believe that everyone is attracted to them and use this for their own personal gain.
- Uses sex to boost self-esteem
Serial infidelity, compulsive sexual behavior, pursuing “trophy” partners, and manipulating sexual partners are all signs of somatic narcissism, as many somatic narcissists gain validation through sexual desire.
Some somatic narcissists will use their sexuality as a tool of control in relationships and as a sign of their desire and status.
They use sex for self-validation rather than an intimate experience between two people. Many somatic narcissists use sex as a means of narcissistic supply and can be classified as sex addicts.
However, unlike sexual narcissists, they may also obtain their narcissistic supply in other ways that do not involve the actual act of sex.
- Triangulation
Somatic narcissists tend to triangulate their victims with ex-partners or other romantic interests in order to elicit an emotional response from them.
In this case, the narcissistic supply is not limited to attention from multiple people, but also includes the emotional suffering of their “primary” victim.
- Self-absorption
Somatic narcissists are extremely selfish when it comes to what they want and need.
They have a high sense of entitlement, and expect things to go their way.
Without putting in any effort, they expect to receive friendship, love, and support.
In conversation, they tend to talk a lot about themselves, and if they listen at all, they listen to pounce on opportunities to shift the spotlight onto themselves.
- Taking credit for your accomplishments
Somatic narcissists display the more general traits of narcissism, and this is one of them.
Narcissists show a lack of empathy for others and often undervalue their own contributions while overestimating their sense of contribution or accomplishment.
- Ignoring your needs
Narcissists tend to be overly focused on their own needs, problems, and thoughts, and have great difficulty recognizing the feelings and needs of others.
In a relationship, this means you always come second, especially when your narcissistic partner’s self-esteem is at stake.
- They Can’t Take Criticism
Narcissists have a hard time taking criticism and often respond defensively, sometimes in abusive ways.
The term “narcissistic injury” describes this phenomenon. This occurs when criticism hurts the narcissist’s ego and they lash out.
Don’t criticize a somatic narcissist on their appearance as this can be extremely hurtful to them.
- They Criticize People Based on Appearance
In order to bolster their sense of superiority, somatic narcissists will put down those they consider to be inferior or physically unattractive.
This may include making jokes about “fat” people, older people, or anyone they consider to be less than physically ideal.
They may also judge and obsessively monitor the appearance of others, which may include telling them what to eat, how to exercise, and what to wear.
Female Somatic Narcissism
A somatic narcissist loves to use her appearance to obtain material things.
She is often on a mission to find a partner who can fund her vain lifestyle.
Somatic narcissistic women have a great ability to spot potential partners with high incomes, so they can maintain a superficial lifestyle to maintain their sense of attractiveness and superiority.
She is entitled, wants the best of everything but doesn’t want to work for it.
She may compensate for her deep insecurities by trying to flaunt her superiority over others.
The female somatic narcissist may also enjoy the idea of being “the other woman,” even in the presence of loving and devoted partners.
Male Somatic Narcissist
Traditionally, women care more about appearance than men, but there are certainly male somatic narcissists who are obsessed with themselves.
The male somatic narcissist brags about sexual encounters and flaunts his strength and muscular build.
He believes that all men who show him attention want to have sex with him.
The typical male somatic narcissist is obsessed with his body. His diet and exercise regimen are strict and his body produces a lot of attention.
The male somatic narcissist may not be as preoccupied with securing a partner to fund his lifestyle as the female somatic narcissist.
Although he wants women for supply, he is afraid of being in a committed relationship.
He prefers to attract and exploit people and then push them away.
He will tend to cheat, chasing the next sexual high rather than settling down with one partner.
Somatic Narcissists and Relationships
Somatic narcissists may not be easy to spot at first, because like all narcissists they are skilled manipulators making them experts at staying hidden.
Like all narcissists, somatic narcissists initially idealize their victims by flattering and complimenting them.
Once the victim becomes addicted, the narcissist will subject them to covert abuse and indirect compliments, and a cycle of aggrandizement, devaluation, and disregard will follow.
Eventually, somatic narcissists age and their beauty, strength, and sexual appeal begin to suffer—this is the problem with focusing too much on human appearance.
Because they are unable to form healthy relationships with other people, they often end up alone.
They may try to cling to their old victims to avoid this, but their hold on the victim can weaken dramatically when they begin to lose their appearance.
In terms of narcissistic display, this type of relationship is much less satisfying for somatic narcissists (7).
Somatic narcissists may try to “stay young” by dressing inappropriately for their age as they age.
They may develop a taste for plastic surgery and expensive cosmetic regimens in an attempt to reverse aging.
How to Deal with a Somatic Narcissist You’re Dating
Somatic narcissists are like any other narcissist in that they severely lack empathy for others (8).
If you’re in a relationship with a somatic narcissist, try to avoid showing emotional responses to their behavior.
They thrive on drama and will continue to target you if their manipulation tactics get the desired response.
While it’s natural to care about your appearance, you should be wary of anyone whose life seems to revolve around their own, who judges others based on their appearance, or who displays other signs of somatic narcissism.
Don’t blame yourself for getting close to someone with somatic narcissistic personality disorder — one of the key aspects of this disorder is being charming and attractive.
If you give them attention and approval, they will “love” you and treat you like a king or queen, so you may feel good about being with them at first.
They may “love bombard” you, which is hard to resist. They know how to manipulate others to get what they want and how to attract attention with charm and humor.
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The best defense mechanism is to set boundaries with a physical narcissist.
This may mean no contact at all and setting realistic expectations for what they are capable of.
If there is anything that research has shown us, it is that narcissists of any type are unlikely to change their ways (9),
So if you suspect that someone in your life may be a physical narcissist, it is probably time to leave. Get out as soon as possible and seek treatment for yourself.
