What is a False Soulmate? A soulmate relationship is what most people refer to as a “soulmate” relationship.
Although it is said that you can have many soulmates in your life but only one true soulmate. A soulmate is said to be your “soul mirror,” your exact match or perfect fit, someone who was created for you.
So, a false soulmate is someone who may appear to be your soulmate at first glance, but in reality, turns out to not be your true soulmate.
Some say that you are likely to encounter a false soulmate in your search for your true soulmate, but they are there to help us identify old patterns so that we can one day be ready for the real thing.
Whether you believe in soulmates or not, the basic principles apply to any relationship: they are either healthy or they are not.
But how do you tell the difference between a true soulmate and a false soulmate? Or a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one?
Well, the truth is, it can be really hard! Especially if your false soulmate is also a narcissist,
because they’re adept at hiding their true identity and portraying themselves as a perfect match.
Your false soulmate will be very similar to your real soulmate in many ways (at first, anyway) but here we’re outlining some signs to look out for that might indicate you’re in a relationship with a false soulmate and how to deal with them.
16 Signs of a False Soulmate
It’s very easy to get carried away by the intense romance that comes at the beginning of a false soulmate relationship.
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You’ll likely put your false soulmate on a pedestal, believing that they can do no wrong and ignoring any negative red flags that may arise.
If you tend to fall for people easily, here are some signs and symptoms to look out for that might indicate a potential false soulmate:
- Your friends and family love them
This may seem like a good sign, and sometimes it definitely is!
But what you should be aware of is that your friends have a false perception of your partner, to the point that they don’t believe you when you tell them about their bad behavior.
This could be a sign that they are good at portraying different characters.
- You’re having the same arguments over and over again
If they get jealous every time you hang out with friends or talk to someone they don’t know and you find yourself having the same arguments over and over again, this could be a warning sign.
Be careful, you may not see it as jealousy at first.
They may portray it as being protective and caring when in fact they just want you for themselves.
- They don’t want to get too deep with you
Even though it may seem like you have a deep emotional connection at first.
If they resist every time you try to dig deeper, this could be a sign that they’re not telling you everything.
Again, they may be trying to portray this in a light that makes them seem weak. This could be a sign that they’re emotionally unavailable, which isn’t what you want in a soulmate.
- They Don’t Want Commitment
A true soulmate will have no problem committing to you. You’ll know exactly where you stand with them instead of feeling vague.
If your partner is full of excuses for why they can’t commit right now, this could be a bad sign.
Some soulmate “experts” claim that you won’t know you’ve met your true soulmate until you’ve had some time apart.
A narcissist may use this as an excuse to continue to deceive you without committing, and you may be tempted to hold out for them, if they are truly your soulmate.
But this doesn’t work if you’re dealing with a narcissist, as they’ll likely never commit to just one person.
- You find yourself overlooking their bad behavior
It can be easy to get caught up in how great everything is at the beginning of a relationship with a false twin.
You may want it to continue so badly that you overlook any bad behavior.
It’s important to be realistic and see this behavior for what it is.
If your soulmate is a liar and a narcissist, the beginning of the relationship was a disguise and it’s time to walk away.
- They’re seeing other people
This is a pretty obvious warning sign but if they’re claiming to be your soulmate, they may also claim that it doesn’t matter if they’re seeing other people because your connection to your soulmate is so strong.
But if they’re a narcissist, they’re taking advantage of you and the other people they meet.
The connection between a true soulmate is so strong that you shouldn’t get anywhere near the one they have with anyone else.
- They Say One Thing and Then Do Another
A narcissist who pretends to be your soulmate will say anything to keep you believing them.
They will say they are exactly who you are looking for, but if you start to notice their actions suggest otherwise, it may be a sign that they are not who they claim to be.
A false narcissistic soulmate will have no problem lying to you, while a true soulmate will never do this.
- The relationship is not equal
If you are starting to feel like your unconditional love is not being reciprocated, this may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
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A narcissist will overreact if they think they are being criticized and will never admit they made a mistake, while when they think you are wrong, they will lash out and make you feel bad about it.
A true twin flame relationship will never be as one-sided as this, so this is something to watch out for.
- They turn into a completely different person depending on who they are around
If you notice that they talk and act differently around certain people, this could be a sign that you are dealing with a narcissist.
Narcissists are master manipulators and will do anything to get people to like them.
They will change to fit whatever role is needed to gain approval.
- They bring out the worst in you
A true twin flame should bring out the best in you.
While it may have seemed that way at the beginning of the relationship, if this changes and you find yourself lashing out, insulting, and jealous,
this could be a sign that you have found yourself a fake narcissistic twin flame.
If they try to convince you that this “passionate” behavior is part of twin flame love, don’t believe them.
- You’re constantly trying to live up to their unrealistic expectations
A narcissistic soulmate will set unrealistic expectations for you that you will never live up to, so if you notice yourself feeling this way, it could be a very bad sign!
Narcissists will enjoy seeing you try to live up to their expectations even though it’s actually impossible and will make you feel like you’re not enough.
- The relationship consumes all of your energy
Narcissists will drain all of your energy with their constant need for admiration and narcissistic supply.
If you’re starting to feel isolated and like the relationship is the only thing in your life, it could be a sign that your partner is a false soulmate.
While a true soulmate allows you to maintain your own identity, a false narcissistic soulmate wants to control you.
- You change yourself to try to be what they want
A false narcissistic soulmate will not only want to isolate you, but they will also want to change you.
While a true soulmate will love you exactly as you are. If you feel like you have to hold on tight to keep things going, that could be a bad sign.
With a true soulmate, the relationship will be natural and easy.
- The relationship has no boundaries
Having boundaries in a relationship is actually healthy because it allows you to practice mutual respect for each other and still own your individual identities.
While it may seem like removing all boundaries will bring you closer to your partner, it can actually be a way for them to completely control you in a really unhealthy way.
This is how you may become too dependent on someone, and that’s what the narcissist really wants, so this is something to definitely watch out for.
- You Feel Like Old Patterns Are Repeating
A false soulmate will reveal old wounds, patterns, and habits that are holding you back.
You may feel like you’ve played the same scenario with other partners before.
When you meet your true soulmate, it will feel completely different from any other relationship you’ve ever been in.
- You Have Feelings of Doubt
This is the most obvious sign that you haven’t found your soulmate.
If you’re doubting the relationship at all, there will be a reason for it, even if you can’t clearly pinpoint why.
If you’re wondering if this is your soulmate, it’s probably not. When you find your true soulmate, you’ll know.
SoulmateOrNarcissist?
If the person you thought was your soulmate is showing signs of narcissism, they’re probably not your soulmate at all.
A soulmate should be their true self and allow you to be your true self in their presence, while narcissists are the opposite.
They always wear a mask and change their emotions, actions and words to suit every situation for their own gain.
People with narcissism do not experience emotions the same way you do; emotions are just tools that narcissists use to control and manipulate people.
Finding your soulmate must be about mutual love, trust, and respect, and most narcissists are incapable of that.
So, a narcissist can never be your true soulmate unless they seek help to reconnect with their empathy and understand their narcissistic tendencies.
It is very easy for narcissists to exploit the soulmate dynamic because they actually have a dangerous form of empathy, which allows them to understand what people want and mimic that in order to attract them.
They can get inside your head and say all the right things that you want to hear.
Then, when they have your full attention, they will start exploiting and abusing you for their own personal gain.
So, if you believe in a soulmate, beware of narcissists posing as your true soulmate.
If someone approaches you claiming to be your soulmate, be aware that they may be using this as a tactic.
However, not all false soulmates will be narcissists. Narcissists can certainly exploit the soulmate dynamic, but some false soulmate relationships can be normal love relationships (mostly).
Sometimes these relationships come into your life to “wake you up” and help you remember who you are.
So not all of them are bad. They are meant to teach you a lesson.
How to get rid of a false narcissistic soulmate?
If you feel that you may be dealing with a false narcissistic soulmate, your only real option is to leave them.
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This may not be easy depending on how resistant your partner is, if they are a severe narcissist they will not want to give up control over you, because you will be a strong source of narcissistic supply for them.
There are certain steps you need to take in order to let go of this false relationship:
Realization
It may take some time to get to this stage but in order to move on from your false twin you must first accept the fact that they are not who you thought they were.
Many people would rather avoid the truth and hope that the relationship will improve over time, but this can be a waste of time if your partner is a narcissist.
StopMourning
It’s important to remember that you’re allowed to feel sad because you thought you found your true soulmate and to grieve the loss.
But at some point, you have to move on and focus on the good in your life.
It can be really confusing and stressful, but don’t let that stop you from trying to find your true soulmate or a healthy relationship!
LookForTheGood
Some say that meeting a false soulmate has a specific purpose.
Try to see the good in the fake relationship. Did you learn from this bad experience and how can you prevent it from happening in the future?
Regret is not the only option.
Related : The Twin Flame Myth Is Spiritual Narcissism: What You Need To Know
Be strong
Once the relationship is over, it is important to seek help for yourself in order to heal.
It is also important to learn how to identify the signs of narcissistic abuse before entering into another relationship.
Be strong and remember that breaking up with your fake soulmate will bring you one step closer to finding your true soulmate.
