One of the core traits of narcissists is a lack of empathy. Narcissists are unable to put themselves in someone else’s shoes or empathize with someone else’s feelings.
Their presence can be lonely and may even prevent them from developing a relationship with animals.
When we own a pet or are responsible for an animal, we show empathy for that animal by responding to its feelings.
Which leads us to an interesting question: Do narcissists have the capacity to love animals? Or does their inability to show empathy deprive them of this special bond?
By looking at recent studies and personal anecdotes, we will learn more about the relationship between narcissists and animals and see if people with narcissistic tendencies are capable of developing a genuine bond with an animal or if their lack of empathy makes them indifferent.
Narcissism and Lack of Empathy
Narcissists come in many forms, but they all share one common trait – a lack of empathy.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a narcissist is “unwilling to recognize or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others.”
While this does not mean that narcissists lack empathy, they may not respond to others’ feelings in the same way that non-narcissists do.
Some studies suggest that narcissists may feel empathy but respond inappropriately, becoming aggressive or withdrawn because these feelings trigger feelings of shame or a loss of internal control.
However, many narcissists who lack empathy for humans or respond inappropriately to it can show a great deal of empathy for their pets.
A study exploring the relationship between narcissism and human-animal empathy found that just because an individual shows little empathy for others does not necessarily mean that they will treat animals the same way.
Of course, there is always the risk that a narcissist may see their pet as an extension of themselves and use their presence to boost their ego and impress others.
But there is also the possibility that owning a pet can have a beneficial effect and help “pet owners with vulnerable narcissistic traits regulate their emotions.”
On the other hand, a narcissist’s relationship with a pet can quickly turn abusive.
If they subject the animal to a cycle of idealization, devaluation, and rejection, it can have a detrimental effect on that animal and certainly does not indicate love or compassion.
Narcissists and Pets
Do narcissists like animals? Narcissists are complex people, but they are individuals. Some may like certain types of animals.
For example, a grandiose narcissist may seek out something large or dangerous, like a Burmese python, to make themselves look good.
Related : 10 Ways To Make a Narcissist Respect You
A more vulnerable narcissist may seek out the comfort of a more traditional pet, like a dog, that shows unwavering love and affection.
Do narcissists have pets?
When it comes to narcissists and pets, there are several reasons why a narcissist might be drawn to owning a pet.
However, many of these motivations are entirely selfish and do not benefit the animal as much as they do the narcissist.
1 Ego Boost
The narcissist’s ego needs constant petting, and pets, especially dogs, can provide the unconditional love and attention they so desperately crave.
Dogs are especially helpful because they make their owners feel indispensable because they are completely dependent on them.
2 Narcissistic Supply
In addition to ego boosting, pets can provide a narcissistic supply of attention, admiration, and validation. The narcissist may also use their pet to gain the admiration of others.
For example, a narcissist will greatly enjoy a dog that obediently follows them everywhere because this signals that the dog loves them more than anyone else.
3 Control and Dominance
A pet gives the narcissist a focus for their controlling behavior. They can exercise authority, set and enforce rules, and punish the animal when it fails to obey.
This satisfies the narcissist’s need for power and reinforces their sense of superiority. Unfortunately, his punishment can be severe and even abusive.
4 Image Enhancement
Pet owners are often thought to have more caring and attentive personalities, and a narcissist may use a pet to manipulate people’s impressions of him or her.
Owning a pet can help convince others that they are compassionate, warm-hearted, and responsible.
Projecting such an image helps draw attention away from their negative traits and enhance their public image.
In many cases, a narcissist sees their pet as an extension of their ego. They often choose an unusual breed or a particularly large or powerful one, as it reflects their inflated ego.
Do Narcissists Prefer Dogs Over Cats?
So, do narcissists prefer cats? As a general rule, narcissists prefer dogs over cats. Cats are too superior and independent for narcissists, and their tendency to ignore humans can lead to narcissistic injury.
If you watch a narcissist interact with an animal, you’ll get a better understanding of what’s going on in the relationship.
If they only show interest in the animal when other people are watching, they probably see the animal only as an extension of themselves.
Narcissists care more about the well-being of their pet than anyone else around them and may exhibit a different personality disorder.
Studies suggest that people with vulnerable narcissism may withdraw from interactions with other humans, but they benefit from having a pet that can “meet their social needs, reduce loneliness, and enhance social support.”
Strictly speaking, this is not love, but it is a strong bond that indicates a certain level of empathy.
How do narcissists treat their pets?
Over the years, I’ve seen some horrifying examples of how narcissists treat their pets, and some poignant ones.
One client described how her narcissistic ex would demand attention from her cat whenever she called and would feel insulted if she tried to avoid him.
One day, he saw that she had bought her cat some expensive treats from an exclusive online store, and he became extremely angry.
Perhaps he saw this as a rejection of himself or a sign that she was trying to bribe the cat into showing more affection than she had led him to – who knows?
After he stormed out of the house, she found the cat hiding in a closet, showing signs of extreme trauma.
She couldn’t help but assume that her ex had attacked the cat, hitting it and causing it serious injuries. The vet confirmed her suspicions but was unable to save the cat.
Of course, this is just one example of how narcissists treat their pets. Some can be extremely loving and even use their interactions with animals to enhance their ability to interact with people.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case, and some narcissists may neglect their pets, resenting the time and attention they take away from themselves.
Narcissists may also allow or encourage unwanted and potentially dangerous behavior in their pets. They may become upset if you don’t pet their furry companion or blame you if your dog becomes overly excited and bites you.
Are narcissists good pet owners?
Although there is limited research on the emotional well-being and health of pets owned by narcissists, we can use our understanding of narcissistic behavior to speculate about its potential effects on pets.
Narcissists put their own needs first over all others’ needs, which can lead to neglectful behaviors, such as leaving the animal outside in bad weather, failing to clean it, or not responding to it when it wants to play.
They may also struggle to provide a stable environment due to their unpredictable behavior and their tendency to oscillate from idealization to devaluation.
Narcissists may also have unrealistic expectations for their pet’s behavior, expecting it to be perfect without putting in the time and training necessary to achieve such goals. In this way, they may be setting the animal up for failure.
If a dog has never been house trained, it will not know that it is wrong to urinate indoors, but the narcissist may have difficulty understanding this and become angry when the dog makes a mistake.
While non-narcissists may see animals as independent beings with their own needs and emotions, narcissists may struggle to develop such bonds because they are overly focused on their own desires.
As a result, narcissists may see their pets as a prop to enhance their image or manipulate the emotions of others rather than as a valuable companion.
They may struggle to see their relationship with the animal as mutually beneficial and are only interested in what the pet can do for them.
Do Narcissists Love Their Pets?
While some narcissists love themselves only, others can form genuine relationships with pets and other animals.
People with vulnerable narcissism, or narcissistic neurosis, have difficulty showing empathy to humans, largely due to their insecurities, but they can bond with a pet.
They fear rejection so intensely that they often withdraw from personal relationships and turn to their pets for support.
Narcissists with these issues may benefit from having an animal because it provides nonjudgmental support and helps them regulate their negative emotions and control their insecurities.
How does this compare to the bond a non-narcissist has with their pet? Well, it’s not that different.
I was reading an article about the bonds we develop with our pets. It suggested that everyone, including non-narcissists, get validation from their animals because they depend on us.
Related : How to Get a Narcissist to Admit They Cheated?
This also means that their love is unconditional and “less likely to be lost than the love of other humans.”
Why do narcissists own pets?
For the average pet owner, just looking at their cat or dog triggers the production of oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” which makes us feel warm and cozy.
Interacting with an animal also raises our levels of dopamine and serotonin, which makes us feel happy and content.
Scientifically, these chemical reactions are what make us love animals. We love animals because they validate our existence, give us attention, and make us feel good.
From this perspective, it makes sense that a narcissist would love a pet just as much for the same reasons. After all, narcissists thrive on validation and attention, no matter where it comes from.
Sadly, “love” for a narcissist is the kick they get from securing the adoration, attention, and control they need. They only think about themselves and what they can get from others, so their “love” will be entirely tied to their feelings and never to the pet.
Narcissists can be wonderful pet owners but they can easily get rid of an animal they seem to be attached to. If the pet no longer serves its purpose, it will be discarded and replaced with something better.
Final Thoughts
While it may be difficult for a narcissist to love their pet, it is possible depending on the specific narcissistic traits of each individual.
Vulnerable narcissists tend to be withdrawn and isolated, but they have enough empathy for animals to develop a deep, close bond with a pet.
Those with more grandiose narcissistic traits are more likely to use an animal to boost their ego and improve their status. They are less likely to feel empathy or love for a pet and more likely to neglect or abuse it.
These are fairly broad statements, and every situation is a little different.
Still, I hope these ideas help you, especially if you live with a narcissist and are considering getting a pet.
We have only begun to scratch the surface of this topic, and more research is needed to gain a deeper understanding of the relationship between narcissists and animals and whether animal-assisted therapy may benefit those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
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