A narcissist’s work is never complete until they’ve made you feel completely isolated from everyone around you.

From good friends to close family and everything in between, it’s as if they have a powerful magnet, pulling people away from you and leaving you feeling alone. You wonder what you did wrong.

Why?

Because narcissists love control, they want to appear as the victim while you fight your way through someone else, and you see the cracks they’ve created inside of you.

It’s frustrating. It’s hurtful. It’s unfair.

Check out these nine ways narcissists turn people against you.

1 Smear Campaign

When a narcissist feels threatened or rejected, they often launch smear campaigns to discredit you.

They do this by spreading lies about you, causing others to fall into the trap of believing what the narcissist says and questioning the person you are.

Imagine how they can create these wild truths, using their distorted imagination to craft a story that others won’t hesitate to take as gospel.

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These things will always portray you in a negative light, undermining any credibility you’ve worked so hard to build.

This tactic keeps you isolated and shut out of your usual social circles. It will make you want to respond and justify yourself, but sometimes, it can make you look even worse to them.

2 Playing the Victim

Narcissists are masters at playing the victim to gain and maintain sympathy and support from others. They will say whatever it takes to get their audience to accept every lie, twist, and distortion.

They are verbal artists who want to paint a picture for everyone who will listen. Do they care what you think? Of course not! If they did, they wouldn’t be narcissists in the first place.

Many will view you as the abuser and the narcissist as the innocent party. This tactic diverts attention from their own unethical and hurtful behavior and allows everyone to find fault and problems in you.

3 Encouraging You to Criticize Others

If you criticize everyone, how long do you think it will take for word to spread and leave you known as a troublemaker?

Narcissists have no problem putting words in your mouth and getting you to say unkind things about others if it makes you feel like you’re part of an important conversation.

The problem doesn’t stop there, as the narcissist will report you to whoever you’re talking about, and blame you for all the wrong things that were said.

4 They Present “Some Kind of” Truth

Narcissists treat truth like a rubber band — it can be bent and stretched in many ways.

If you mean well, the narcissist won’t portray it that way to others. If your truths are light and sweet, they’ll distort them to make them seem worse.

They can infer what you “really meant” — even if you refute those claims. These mind-boggling skills will turn people against you because they lose trust in your words and actions.

5 By Exaggerating Your Flaws

We all have flaws, but a narcissist loves to know your flaws, and they love to dig deeper to really get to the bottom of your flaws.

It’s uncomfortable, and sometimes these covert narcissists really play on your insecurities because they know how awful you feel.

They don’t care—they’ll go over your flaws over and over until they’re blue in the face, because with every word comes the knowledge—albeit incorrect—that you’re not who they thought you were.

6 Blame Shifting

Blame shifting is like taking something they did wrong and literally handing it to you instead so you don’t have to endure it.

Why do they do this? They don’t have empathy for you and don’t want to hold onto something negative and damaging to their image.

There’s a hook that narcissists sometimes find themselves in, and a way to get out of it, is to switch themselves out for you. As long as their reputation is safe, that’s all they care about.

Using this tactic to turn people against you usually works, because it’s great at generating anger and negative momentum in their inaccurate reporting about you.

7 Gossip

Narcissists feel most comfortable surrounded by people who will hang on to their every word.

Being in the middle of a gossip circle is their idea of ​​heaven, and they do this because it allows them to point out all of the faults and shortcomings of others, making them seem like they’re the perfect citizen.

It’s convenient for a narcissist to use people like you as a target for their slander. They do this because they don’t have to talk about themselves or point out their faults or flaws – which are plentiful!

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Narcissists want to take advantage – and they take great advantage of badmouthing others. If that’s you, you’ll take a hit to your reputation for a temporary gain.

8 Through Reactive Abuse

Imagine you’re calm and collected, and then you’re pushed and prodded until you finally react. Narcissists are master pushers, pushing you to the edge with their hurtful words and actions before you turn around and say enough is enough.

Who’s at fault now?

The narcissist throws up his hands in a miserable shrug, “See? I told you so.”

Suddenly, people shake their heads and see that the narcissist was right after all. And there you are – you look like the bad guy.

Reactive abuse is dealt with by using your perceived weaknesses. Maybe you’re not good at something, or you’re not happy with an aspect of yourself.

Remember, for everyone, they don’t see the 999 times the narcissist seduced you, they only hear about the one time you got your revenge.

9 Triangulation

When a narcissist brings two people together only to deliberately separate them again, this is known as triangulation.

They see that the friendship is going well and they don’t like it, generally because the association makes them more jealous or insecure than they were to begin with, and it simply needs to stop.

The narcissist will eventually try to turn the third party against you, looking for ways to invalidate you, and leaving you feeling high on anxiety or stress.

This can be done in friendship or family circles, so if there is a narcissist in your life, maintaining a level of vigilance with them is vital if you want to avoid isolation.

If you feel increasingly isolated from those you care about, ask yourself if you are dealing with a narcissist in your life.