When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll quickly realize that they tend to break their promises.

They may act like they care about you and want to give you the world, but it’s all an act.

Below, we’ll delve into the reasons why you shouldn’t believe a narcissist’s promises, even if they seem genuine.

Narcissism and Future Faking

If you realize that a narcissist isn’t doing what they say they’re going to do, it’s time to learn more about future faking. This concept explains a lot of a narcissist’s failed promises.

Future faking occurs when narcissists talk about wanting a future with you. They may discuss getting engaged, getting married, buying a house, or having children together.

These future-focused discussions typically happen early in the relationship. The narcissist makes promises about the future, to give the impression that they’re committed to the relationship.

Ultimately, future faking is a form of manipulation. By making promises about the future, the narcissist is convincing you that they’re deeply invested in the relationship.

Once you realize that they are deeply committed to you, you will be more willing to devote your time and attention to them.

Related : Six Reasons Narcissists Suddenly Go Silent

Plus, you won’t be surprised when they take advantage of you, such as borrowing money or living with you rent-free.

By faking a future, the narcissist gets exactly what they want: you devote all of your time and attention to them, which you will be willing to do because you are convinced that you have met your soulmate.

LoveBombingRole

Another way that narcissists attract people at the beginning of a relationship is through a tactic called love bombing. This involves showering you with affection, attention, and promises of a happy relationship.

Unfortunately, these promises never come to fruition. By showering you with affection at the beginning of a relationship, the narcissist succeeds in making you fall madly in love.

You may think you have found your perfect soulmate, and the relationship will feel like a fairy tale romance you have been searching for. Over time, you will realize that the narcissist cannot truly deliver on his promises.

Once they’ve gotten you hooked, they’ll start to change their behavior. They may start to insult you, disappear for hours or even days, and act like you mean nothing to them.

This is part of a cycle where they shower you with love at first, only to devalue you over time.

Since you’ve fallen for the love bombing trap, you’ll simply work harder to win back the narcissist’s affection.

If you still believe the promises they made during the love bombing phase, you’ll convince yourself that you made a mistake, and that you’re responsible for returning the relationship to the happy romance it once was.

This is exactly what the narcissist wants: for you to believe the promises they made in the beginning.

As long as you believe these promises, you’ll allow them to continue to exploit you and break your heart.

Understand that a narcissist can’t keep their promises; it’s just a manipulation tactic.

They may return to the love bombing phase from time to time, but the toxic cycle will continue, and they’ll be back to devaluing you before long.

Narcissistic Fantasies

It is also important to understand that you should never trust the promises of a narcissist. Fantasies are a contribution. People with narcissistic traits tend to fantasize about perfect love, power, and beauty.

At the beginning of the relationship, they may believe that you are their ideal partner. As such, they will put you on a pedestal, convinced that you are their ideal lover, perhaps sent to finally make them happy.

They will promise you everything because they see perfection in your eyes. They will quickly talk about settling down, building a family, and spending their lives with you.

Related : All Narcissists Have a Hidden Agenda

The painful truth is that this is just a fantasy. No one is perfect, and once the narcissist realizes that you are a human being with your own flaws and characteristics, the fantasy will suddenly stop.

Once a narcissist stops seeing you as their ideal soulmate, they will start treating you differently. They may become cold and callous, or they may abandon you for someone else.

You will be shocked, wondering what happened to the promises the narcissist made to stay committed to you for life.

Narcissism and Lack of Empathy

Narcissists, by definition, are selfish and lack empathy. This is another reason why believing their promises is so risky.

A narcissist may promise you a happy life together, but only because it serves their needs. They don’t really intend to be a supportive, loving partner. They just want to play on your desire for loyalty and commitment to get what they want from you.

Unfortunately, this has nothing to do with their desire to keep their promises to you. Narcissists’ motivations are entirely selfish, and they don’t particularly care about you.

Because narcissists lack empathy, they won’t care about hurting you. When they break their promises to you, they won’t be able to recognize your hurt feelings or negative emotions.

Skilled Manipulation

Finally, narcissists are skilled manipulators by nature. They are willing to exploit you to get what they want from you, which requires a certain degree of manipulation.

A person with manipulative traits cannot be trusted to keep their promises. They will tell you what they think you want to hear, so you will comply with their demands.

Because a narcissist is a skilled manipulator, they may deny that they made a promise to you at all.

For example, if they talk to you about wanting to get married, they may later deny that conversation happened when you propose a year later.

Signs a Narcissist Makes False Promises

If you’re still not convinced that a narcissist is untrustworthy, consider the following signs that their promises to you are false:

They repeatedly fail to do what they say they will do.

Related : 9 Ways To Stop Attracting Narcissists

They promise to do something for you, but later deny that they made that promise.
When you mention how their lack of commitment is affecting you, they may get angry, defensive, or find a way to blame you for their behavior.

They promise to change their behavior, but only when you threaten to end the relationship.

Their behavior is hot and cold; one day, they talk about spending the rest of their lives with you, only to withdraw and give you the silent treatment a few days later.

Conclusion

Narcissists are notorious for failing to keep their word. They may promise you everything your heart desires, but the chances of them actually delivering are slim.

Narcissism is all about arrogance, selfishness, and a lack of empathy. This means that narcissists will use manipulative tactics, including making promises they never intend to keep, to convince you to stay loyal to them.