It doesn’t take much to surprise narcissists – but birthdays are one of the most interesting ways to spot narcissists, and why they care so much about their birthdays.
Some people love them, some hate them, and some even try to avoid noticing them because it means they’re getting older – but where do narcissists fit into all this?
A narcissist’s birthday is a big deal. If you don’t notice it, you might be telling them straight up that it doesn’t matter.
They can’t stand it. They feel entitled to be seen and noticed, even if they pretend not to be bothered by their big day approaching.
TheMostTruthfulDayOfTheYear
Happy Birthday to You
The Most Important Person Is You
Today is all about you…
Happy Birthday to You.
Ah, the beautiful song that a narcissist loves to hear on their birthday, in fact, if they could hear it every day, they definitely would.
Related : How Are Narcissists Made?
The narcissist’s birthday comes around, and they expect everyone to remind them of how great they are, and maybe even how good they look – all the things that narcissists love to hear on their special day.
These aren’t things they hope for, but they automatically feel they deserve them.
Things get weird if they don’t get that attention.
SelfApathy
Me? Oh my god. It’s no big deal.
Birthdays happen every year – I’m over it.
Well, I still work on my birthday because life goes on, right?
Oh my god – the narcissist is so humble, so humble.
Suddenly, the narcissist you know as someone who craves attention comes to their birthday and seems almost hypocritical while you try to make a fuss and you are brutally pushed aside by their indifference.
Weird, but surprisingly common!
WaitingForGreetings
Have you ever noticed the narcissist in your life lying on the couch, staring at his phone, waiting for all the likes or calls to come in?
He can’t ignore them!
With each ding or chime, his wry smile (which is never a real smile) grows bigger and bigger. Soon, his face lights up with pride that there are people who are thinking of him and taking the time to show him how much they love and appreciate him.
It’s enough to make the strongest of people flip out, but it’s a strange trait to have on your birthday, when the healthiest of us simply go through the day checking our messages from time to time.
That’s because we don’t need to rely on others to feel good about ourselves the way a narcissist does.
Forgot? Hell is the price
A narcissist will throw a tantrum the moment they realize you forgot their birthday. They don’t care if they forget about you—it doesn’t matter to them.
What matters is that you’re hurting them by failing to remember them on their special day.
The fact that they haven’t heard from you will eat away at them quickly as they obsessively check their phones to see if you’ve sent them a message or, better yet, wished them a happy birthday publicly on their social media account.
Narcissists want you to make it all about them every day of the year, but be prepared for even more weirdness from them if you don’t do it on their birthday.
Remember? Whatever
Malignant narcissists don’t really like their birthdays.
Birthdays are emotionally silly ways to get the wrong kind of attention, usually because they either don’t like the fact that they’re getting older or feel like they’re being too delicate.
“My birthday? Forget it!”
They downplay the importance of the entire day and pass it off as nothing more than an excuse to get people to the necessary side of it—whatever that may seem like to them.
That means you can be as nice as you can. Bake them a cake, buy them something you know they usually like, or even wish them a happy birthday when they specifically told you not to. You may be doing this because you didn’t do it last year, and they got angry.
Gaslight Central!
Accept this strange reaction to the narcissist’s birthday as a form of manipulation. It’s meant to confuse you and throw you off track on the day, because you won’t know whether to come or go.
Too Much, Too Little
On that note, nothing else you do will be right either, and gifts and cards can be left unopened and untouched all day, even in the following days. They don’t want the fuss, but if you forget or refuse to buy based on previous similar years, you’re probably wrong,
Nothing you do is good enough – and nothing you try to make their day special will work!
BadBehavior – As if it could get any worse!
Whatever standards narcissists typically set throughout the year are increased on their birthday. It has to be more than usual for them.
Related : The Insults You Hear in a Narcissistic Relationship
Nothing is good enough, you didn’t spend enough on them, and they “deserve more”. Everything you try to do for them is wrong, and if it doesn’t go their way, it’s your fault for ruining their big day.
Planning and executing the perfect day for a narcissist will never go right, because what they want will constantly change to suit the moment.
The weird way they treat you, and their birthday, is how they end up feeling wronged.
The Nervous Trait of a Narcissist
A narcissist’s birthday is the one day of the year when their traits are more outrageous and more powerful than any other day.
Narcissists don’t see this special day as something you’re going to win, so if you do your best to make it exactly how they want it to be, and if people don’t perform well on it—their one day where validation should be at its highest—they’ll never let you forget how you made their day more about you than it was about them.
Their weirdness affects you
The only thing you end up doing is carrying around all the weirdness of the whole day, holding onto it like it’s a distorted memory that you can’t forget because the same day eventually comes back 365 days later.
It becomes a horrible day. What do you do, how do you do it, what will make them happier?
The truth is—nothing will make them happier.
They are, after all, narcissists.
