Have you ever seen a flying monkey? Of course not – they don’t exist, do they?

Wrong.

They definitely exist in worlds where narcissists reign.

Remember the Wizard of Oz, where the flying monkeys stood up to the Wicked Witch and treated Dorothy with contempt.

Now, apply that to real life.

You’re being treated unfairly because there are people who defend the narcissist, and you wonder how on earth they could stoop so low.

So… what can you do?

What is a Flying Monkey?

Flying monkeys are people who the narcissist connects with and manipulates into believing horrible things about you. They may spread rumors, or share information at your expense – but that will drive them away from you…

… The narcissist’s goal!

The flying monkey doesn’t care about who you are, because they make their decisions about you slowly, and usually against you.

Related : How Are Narcissists Made?

The flying monkey walks on the narcissist’s side of the street.

“Give me an example”

Imagine you’re in the middle of a breakup with a narcissist. You hope your friends will support you, but suddenly all you get is radio silence from them.

This can only be for one reason – the narcissist is recruiting flying monkeys to work and live on his team, instead of yours.

The narcissist needs an army to withhold their loyalty from him.

Who could be a flying monkey?

Anyone – and this is the really scary thing.

They could be your family members, or even old friends you’ve had for years.

Think about how it must feel to have been misled by the narcissist, only to find that the people around you are suddenly dropping like flies to support the one person you’re trying to get away from?

Being doubted by the people you love is a very lonely place to be.

How Can Narcissists Do This?

Narcissists are the most charming people. You know yourself, because that was the lure that drew you to them in the first place.

So now—the charm is gone for you, but for everyone else, the narcissist is just getting started.

They put on their best persona in public, speaking softly or harshly, depending on their audience and the narrative they want to take away from their time with them.

I worked hard on this relationship.

There are things you don’t know about your friend/sister/daughter/brother.

They were my soulmate.

I need to talk to you, do you have time?

It’s very hard for me to discuss this, but I have no one else to turn to.

You’re going to be really uncomfortable hearing these facts, but you need to know them for your own good.

I hate to be the one to tell you this.

The performance is world class, and they’ll use you and spread everything they can about you to get attention and sympathy.

WhatCanYouDoAboutIt?

It’s time to process all the emotions that are bubbling up inside of you. It’s hard enough dealing with the end of any relationship, but the drama that unfolds when you end a relationship with a narcissist means there’s going to be more heartbreak, and there’s going to be more hurt.

You may notice people refusing to return your calls or text messages. Plans with friends and family are constantly being cancelled, as they make excuses for not seeing you.

Ignore the Smear Campaign

Narcissists are adept at starting smear campaigns right after a conflict, and it can be a confusing and frustrating time.

It’s sad how easily people who listen to narcissists can be lured into believing lies and exaggerations without even having the decency or wisdom to consult you, but that’s the manipulative and coercive nature of narcissists.

They will do what they need to do.

It’s your job not to resist. The more you try to protest your innocence, the crazier they make you look.

Have you seen? Have you seen what they do because I speak the truth?

It’s very damaging, and not just in your personal life, but it can happen in any environment, including your workplace.

Communicate without defense

When you are the focus of a smear campaign, the best advice is to reach out to those people (only if they are truly important to you) who have been lied to and do your best to be yourself.

Don’t mention what happened. Don’t talk down to the narcissist. Act as if nothing happened.

Why?

By default, without raising your hands or waving the white flag of surrender, you are being authentic. You are proving the narcissist wrong by simply being there, living, and showing your positive, bright light.

Related : The Insults You Hear in a Narcissistic Relationship

They have always loved you, remember that. It’s just that someone else’s words have tarnished it a little.

Hook and line – but not drowning

If the people you are losing are important to you, you can stop them from drowning in lies. You can free them from the twists and turns and stories that are being told.

The narrative that is being woven is a figment of the narcissist’s imagination, a tactic used to destroy your reputation and make them look better.

They need approval.

They need love.

They need empathy.

Since they are no longer getting it from you, they will punish you.

Be kind

Narcissists are like used car salesmen. They have the charm to sell you a car without an engine for three times its original value just by convincing you that you need it.

When you find a smeared person stuck on the side of the road in their car, tell them how sorry you are that they bought it in the first place.

Ask them if what they were told aligns with your character.

Apologize that they had to listen to the narcissist in the first place.

Don’t take the opportunity to humiliate the narcissist, as this will only bring you down to their level. Instead, act with kindness and dignity.

And most importantly – continue to be you.

The best way to take the power away from a narcissist is to put the spotlight back on them. Narcissists work to overcome their insecurities, which are always in the darkest corners of their personality.

If you can shine the spotlight on them without sound or justification, you will automatically allow people to see who they really are, freeing you from the lies.