Flying monkeys are important to narcissists, they do their job and make them feel superior. Flying monkeys tend to be people who want to please; they don’t want to let the narcissist down. This works to the narcissist’s advantage.
In many cases, the flying monkey is someone the narcissist has manipulated. They may fear the narcissist, so they submit to them, so as not to become victims.
Narcissists often turn the people closest to them into flying monkeys. This is done slowly. They start by winning their hearts, by presenting themselves as non-threatening and innocent.
Remember, narcissists need constant admiration. They have an inflated sense of importance and lack empathy. They need to be in control. If they feel criticized or threatened, they will use manipulation tactics to protect their self-image. One such tactic is to use flying monkeys.
Why do narcissists need flying monkeys?
Narcissists need to appear innocent
Narcissists need to appear innocent, and they often portray themselves as the victim. At the same time, they aim to control their victim. When they use flying monkeys, they immediately distance themselves from any consequences of their actions. This helps them avoid all accountability.
Narcissists have learned the art of lying. They are deceitful, yet they can remain innocent in the eyes of others. The flying monkey often helps them achieve this, as they are not blamed.
EgoBoost
Narcissists need admiration. They believe they are superior and when the flying monkey supports their version of events, they are given the ego boost they so desperately need.
They need constant validation and admiration; this is what helps them stay superior. Flying monkeys are those who do not question their motives or their recollection of events. Flying monkeys protect their narcissists, ensuring that their version is accurate, and boosting their vanity and self-importance.
Manipulation
The narcissist has learned the art of manipulation and when he has a flying monkey by his side, he can do it with ease. When he uses his flying monkey, his victim is isolated. This helps the narcissist turn others against the victim, making them vulnerable to manipulation.
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Manipulation enables the narcissist to control his targets. Control makes them feel important, which gives them the self-importance they thrive on. Remember, the narcissist is a dominant person; they need to control those around them.
Keeping Their Hands Clean
Flying monkeys give the narcissist a much-needed sense of control and power. When he gets the flying monkeys to do the dirty work for him, he can influence his victims without ever getting their hands dirty.
Narcissists never take the blame for anything they do. They will never admit to any wrongdoing. Flying monkeys enable them to do what they want, manipulate others, and remain in control while still being able to feign innocence.
Minimize Confrontation
Narcissists rely on their flying monkeys to minimize any consequences for their actions. The flying monkey becomes the narcissist’s “go-between.”
When they implement the narcissist’s tactics, it is difficult for anyone targeted to directly confront the narcissist. This helps them keep their innocent persona intact.
They turn a one-on-one situation into a two-on-one situation. The flying monkey may approach the victim and berate them for something they didn’t do.
If you have a disagreement with the narcissist, they will not try to solve the problem, but will involve their flying monkey, making it even more difficult to confront them and fix the problem.
Positive Public Image
Although the narcissist is manipulative and controlling, they must maintain a positive public image. They work hard at this, trying to make everyone like them, so that people cannot see what is behind their facade.
Flying monkeys help them achieve a good public image. When a narcissist has flying monkeys supporting them, they appear innocent. This innocence is what helps them with their controlling behavior.
SelfManipulation
Self-manipulation is a tactic used by a narcissist to make their victim question their perception, memory, or sanity. They use this as a control tactic, often leading to the person questioning whether or not they are remembering correctly.
Related : 8 Ways How Narcissists use Guilt To Control You
The flying monkey is used to reinforce what the narcissist is saying. In return, the victim doubts themselves, causing them to doubt themselves and their sanity.
GuiltTrips
Anyone who has been in a relationship with or close to a narcissist knows how they can make you feel guilty about your actions or choices. Narcissists use flying monkeys to help them with this, ensuring that their victim feels bad about the choices or decisions they make.
If a narcissist doesn’t want you to do something, they will use their guilt to try to control you. If that doesn’t work, he uses his flying monkey to do the bidding for him. The flying monkey will approach the victim, making them feel bad about what they want to do, and play the narcissist’s role as victim. The goal is to change your mind, get you to do exactly what the narcissist wants you to do, and give him the control he needs.
Defaming the Victim
Narcissists are known to use a smear campaign to spread rumors or lies about their victims. This is done to turn others against them, giving the narcissist the upper hand and enabling them to gain control. Their flying monkey often plays a significant role in this, as the narcissist helps spread the rumors or lies.
They can maintain their power by defaming their victim and dominating the situation.
Are You a Flying Monkey?
Are you in a close relationship with a narcissist and are afraid of being their flying monkey? If you find yourself constantly coming to the narcissist’s rescue, you may be their flying monkey.
When you ally yourself with someone else, whether a close friend or family member who has narcissistic traits, you may fall into the role of the flying monkey.
If you find yourself spreading rumors or lying about others to protect the person in your life or yourself from the narcissist’s wrath, you are likely a flying monkey.
Related : 8 Reasons Why Narcissists Cant Change Their Behaviour
Most flying monkeys feel they need to defend the narcissist. Narcissists blame everyone and everything for things that go wrong in their lives. If you defend them, you help them feel valuable and important.
Most Flying Monkeys find that they have lost their sense of self, and have often suffered years of emotional abuse by the narcissist. They are unable to make their own decisions.
Others love the drama that narcissists cause. If you are in a relationship with or close to a narcissist, you have likely been involved in a lot of drama at some point.
There are cases where Flying Monkeys have narcissistic traits, and they enjoy attention while also wanting to manipulate others. When they team up with a powerful narcissist, their own needs are met.
If you are concerned that you are a Flying Monkey to a narcissist, consider the facts above. Do you protect the other person no matter what they do, even when you know they are wrong? Do you defend them in arguments, distorting the facts to protect them at all costs? These are signs that you are a Flying Monkey.
