Looking back is great, and it would be great if we could refuse to let all narcissists into our lives, right?

Feeling them come and kicking them out of our lives would be a dream—but that’s not always possible.

We can’t choose who our family marries. We can’t choose who we work with most of the time. If we could, we’d all live peaceful, happy, fulfilled lives.

So what can you do when a narcissist comes knocking at your door? You can avoid getting sucked into it and do it with these eight powerful tactics that will keep them out.

Think of each one of them as your own personal can of bug spray. Arm yourself, and keep them away for good!

1 No More Second Chances

Stop it.

Don’t think, “Oh my god, that’s so harsh.”

We all make mistakes, and every so often, we all deserve a second chance to prove ourselves. In the process of atonement we find our connections with each other again, but what I’m talking about are those times we give narcissists time and time again.

Related : What is Gaslighting in Narcissism? Narcissistic Gaslighting Explained

Time and time again, you give them a second chance after they make a mistake. The first time you call them out on a grievous mistake should be the only time, because when you ignore the other times, you give them permission to treat you the way they want to.

More than that – you’re telling them in no uncertain terms that you actually have no boundaries. None. Ever.

Having no boundaries or self-preservation means that others can step on you. Narcissists will love that – but it’s only bad news for you.

2 Knowledge is Power

Trust me when I say how helpful it would be for you to learn about narcissism. You’ll hear this word a lot these days, as we live among a generation of selfie-obsessed, social media-obsessed, celebrity-obsessed people with inflated egos.

Don’t let that detract from the true meaning of narcissism.

Narcissism is constant. Narcissists annoy you and will live there for free as long as you let them, but by knowing their behaviors, and the way they use people through charm and intelligence to work for them (aka the flying monkey) – you can win.

Narcissists don’t have to be in your life, and it’s up to you to do what you can to recognize them, so you can always be one step ahead.

At all times.

3 Trust Your Intuition

The mind and intuition are closely linked. The way we feel stressed or excited comes from our thoughts about what to expect.

Do you see yourself as someone who trusts their gut right now? Knowing the phrase and being the phrase are two separate things, but when it comes to a narcissist, it’s important to be able to sense when someone is not normal.

The Magic of Spying on the Eye

Whether it’s the deceitful charm you see, or the way they act around different people. It probably has a lot to do with how often you hear them talk bad about other people when they’re not in the room.

Your gut, if you listen to it, will tell you whether or not this person’s energy is worth getting to know. This is more likely to happen if you were exposed to narcissism as a child because your body will learn how to respond to threats or types of people who are physiologically threatening.

Related : 6 Alternatives to Calling Out the Narcissist

It’s your call who you let into your life, but it’s much easier to reject a narcissist than to clean up the mess they make when they claim their rights to your deepest, darkest secrets.

4 Love and Abuse – Learn They’re Not the Same Thing

When you keep getting dragged into situations that hurt you or make you feel worthless and worthless, it’s time to be honest with yourself.

Love and abuse are not the same thing.

What you tell yourself is not the same thing as what can happen in a relationship with a narcissist of any kind. You see them as someone who is trying to be better. You see your life with them. There are times when they treat you very well. They say they love you.

These narratives need to end. You can’t live knowing how much pain and hurt you feel because of the actions of someone who claims to love you.

Stop Calling Abuse “Love.”

5 Know What Love Bombing Is

I can’t stress enough that life is not a fairy tale.

We see it all the time, don’t we? Romantic movies, Disney happy endings, and even the perfect life people portray to us through social media. We see everyone living the life we ​​want, so when the opportunity arises, it’s easy to see the narcissist’s charm in your moment.

No.

Love bombing is different from someone being genuinely nice to you for several reasons.

Reason number one – with love bombing there is a motive. The narcissist wants to get you hooked, so they will say or do really grandiose things to make you believe them.

Reason number two – love bombing makes those with low self-esteem suddenly feel seen or heard. They will start to see their own insecurities being covered up by the narcissist’s affection. This never lasts.

Number three – anytime you feel like the narcissist has dragged you down, there is an opportunity for the narcissist to erase your memory of the abuse and pain by giving you anything you want. Date night, vacation, showering you with compliments.

Related : What is Narcissist Triangulation And Easy 6 Ways To Stop It

They are all designed to manipulate you into believing that the narcissist is a nice person, so finding out how someone does these things is a way to know that they have narcissistic traits and it is best to avoid them altogether.

6 Gaslighting Must Go

Oh, the narcissist will try to light you on fire every chance they get.

They aim to diminish your idea of ​​reality and eventually diminish it and replace it with theirs. They don’t want you to think for yourself or care about your version of events.

You will be denied all of those things under the control of a narcissist, but one very effective way of disallowing that is to stick to your values. Do not let them fall for anybody no matter how charming they may seem.

Holding onto what you know to be true keeps that self-assured part of you well and truly alive, and will keep the narcissist at bay.