Narcissistic parents talk to their children.

Narcissistic partners talk to their spouses.

Narcissistic bosses talk to their employees.

Their words come out of their mouths with candor and boldness, but what’s going on in their eyes?

Have you ever noticed that a narcissist can’t look you in the eye? Maybe they have fleeting moments where they feel brave enough to confront you, but otherwise, forget about it.

Why is that?

Well, you’ll be surprised to find out, but it comes with a healthy dose of knowledge so you can learn everything you need to know about narcissists and their eye contact.

TheNarcissisticEye

Paying attention to a narcissist will reveal the narcissist’s true self-esteem, and it can be funny at times to witness.

Related : Do you need to be financially stable to leave the narcissist?

Hey. Can we talk about that problem you’ve been having with me lately? What’s going on? Can we make some time?

Nothing. Not even a single look at you.

Not now. We’ll have to talk another time.

Oh yeah, of course. Making them look at you even from a distance means they are confronting something, or rather someone, that they feel threatened by.

A narcissist hates feeling threatened or backed into a corner, so they will usually avoid it at all costs.

This is the thing to remember with a narcissist – they don’t always like confrontation.

So what is the narcissistic gaze?

Disinterest

The narcissistic gaze can sometimes be the opposite too, to make matters even more confusing.

A tactic that many like to use is to keep your eyes closed while you try to get them to talk, and once you’ve exhausted them enough, they will visually withdraw. They will almost treat you like you’re a nuisance, making angry noises, looking away, and telling you that they don’t want to talk about it.

This will be met with annoyance, and you will be treated as the perpetrator.

So my next question is what can you learn from narcissists and eye contact?

1 Maximum Roar from Maximum Cowardice

Narcissists have this inner core of cowardice. And this isn’t just the odd narcissist out there, no. This is every narcissist on the planet.

While they may be overt, covert, or any other type of narcissist, they are all basically cut from the same boring, predictable cloth.

Narcissists can’t look you in the eye in all conflicts. So their bullying, dismissive nature is driven by fear underneath it all.

Related : Six reasons why narcissists put your friends against you

Fearing their own vulnerability and shame, this fear can be exacerbated when they are cornered, and that’s when you’ll see them stop engaging in eye contact.

The more disrespectful they are, the less they will look at you. They do this because they know they’re usually overdoing it.

This can happen when you’re also trying to tell them something important, and they just stare at the TV, or look out the window. They’re cowards. They don’t want to hear your problems or the truth, they just want to withdraw because anything above that will lead them into deeper waters.

And the narcissist doesn’t know how to swim.

It’sHard

When you’re in the middle of an important conversation, it can be hard to look someone in the face because it shows that you’re willing to take responsibility for their feelings. You want to share a moment of connection, but guess what, the narcissist has no idea how to do any of that.

The narcissist doesn’t want your shame in their face – so they look away and ignore.

This doesn’t have to be a distant look, but it can be just an “I refuse to see you.”

We can all agree that this is painful enough.

2 The Narcissist Looks Away

Narcissists will avoid making eye contact with you while laying down their rules. It’s like they’re not negotiating with you in any way. What they want is for you to listen to them and for them to talk.

Looking at you and making eye contact means that they’re willing to hear your side of the story and, more importantly, to engage in a conversation.

Related : Six ways to take power away from the narcissist

Narcissists hate conversations. They don’t know how to have a conversation because being a participant means you have to take the time to listen to the other person.

Is Anyone There?

Eye contact is nonexistent, and it can be extremely frustrating for the person receiving the conversation. You feel like you’re talking to yourself, or like you’re talking to a brick wall.

Narcissists know this, and because they know it, they love to continue to annoy you through the channel of visual rejection.

And guess what? When you get upset, you become the problem.

3 Fear and Contempt

No one likes to say or hear uncomfortable things, but unfortunately, sometimes we can’t help falling into their trap.

A narcissist will do whatever it takes to avoid being upset, and this is a fundamental emotion driven by two things:

fear and contempt.

They’re afraid of what you have to say, but what’s even more interesting is the fact that you have the courage to confront the problem instead of doing what they do:

Blame someone else.

Ignore it.

Pretend it had nothing to do with you.

You’re a good, honest person, and they envy you for it.

To the point where they can’t even look you in the eye.

4 They Don’t Value You Enough

All of the above can be combined into the rather disturbing idea that the narcissist simply doesn’t value you enough to look you in the eye.

Due to deep, irreparable insecurity, they will refuse to look you in the eye because they feel they’re too good to interact with you.

Related : 8 Reasons Why it’s So Hard to Leave a Narcissist

This is designed to make you stop talking and feel like you don’t matter or don’t have enough important things to say.

We all know this isn’t true, but narcissists will make it hard for you to remember this because they will be so focused on ignoring you and refusing to acknowledge you.

This is the point where you have to lift your head up and realize that you’re not the one with the problem.

Their value is in your value, not your value, so that’s something you should never forget when you’re in the middle of a conversation with a narcissist.

They lack capacity and hate that you have enough for everyone.

Let them look away – and acknowledge that it’s something interesting to focus on rather than something you’re necessarily doing wrong.