You probably know that narcissists thrive on maintaining power and control. When they have you under their control, they feel superior, which feeds their fragile ego.
They will do whatever it takes to stay in power, and you may realize that they have an arsenal of games they can play to stay in control.
You may think that you are stuck in this dynamic, destined to be the narcissist’s puppet forever, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
The truth is that you can take back your power. The narcissist has convinced you that you are small and helpless, but that is just part of their game.
Strategies to Take Back the Power
The truth is that spotting a narcissist’s games is not that hard. You can probably figure out their patterns pretty quickly.
Related : Things That Will Drive a Narcissist Crazy
Once you do, taking back your power is easy. You just have to stop participating in their games.
Let’s look at some key strategies below.
1 Set Boundaries
Never take the blame for a narcissist’s bad behavior. However, this behavior will continue as long as you allow it.
So, one of the best ways to take power away from a narcissist is to set boundaries and stick to them.
Be clear about what behavior you will and will not tolerate.
How to Set Boundaries
For example, you might tell them that you will not communicate with them if they use profanity or other degrading language toward you.
Set that boundary, and when they violate it, you should stick to it firmly. Get out of the conversation as soon as they get nasty.
Walk away, and tell them that you will be happy to talk when they are ready to respect you.
Now, the narcissist is no longer in control of the conversation; you are!
2 Emotional Detachment
Narcissists love to get an emotional response from you. They may deliberately pressure you to get a reaction.
Don’t give them that pleasure. Realize that their manipulative tactics are an attempt to tease you, so they feel superior.
When they get an intense emotional response from you, they feel important. They must be very special, if they can make you cry, scream, or show disappointment!
Distance from the Narcissist
Realize that this is all just a game, and refuse to participate. When the narcissist is trying to upset you, simply don’t react.
This may be easier said than done, but when you realize that the narcissist is just putting on a show, it’s easier to disengage.
Stop your emotional responses to them. If you’re struggling, practicing self-soothing strategies, such as counting to 10 or taking a few deep breaths, can be helpful.
3 Learn the Art of the Gray Swing
The gray swing is one of the best tactics you can use to put an end to a narcissist’s power games. The gray stone sounds like a pretty boring thing to do, doesn’t it?
This is the whole point of the gray swing. Be as boring and uninteresting as possible.
How to Gray Swing
If they try to start a fight, give them one-word answers.
Better yet, change the subject. Maybe they bring up an emotionally charged topic or make a silly accusation or criticism.
Related : 8 Reasons Why it’s So Hard to Leave a Narcissist
Don’t play the game. Smile and nod and then talk about the weather. They’ll be so taken in by this behavior that they won’t know what to do.
When you don’t offer any strong opinions, the narcissist gets no satisfaction from you. You’re no longer feeding their ego, and they’ve lost all control over your emotions.
4 Practice Self-Care
When the narcissist has all the power and control in the relationship, it’s easy to sacrifice your own needs. Maybe you’ve spent so much time caring for the narcissist that you no longer take any time for yourself.
You may have convinced yourself that you simply aren’t allowed to meet your own needs, or make time for the things you enjoy.
That’s what the narcissist wants you to believe, but it’s not true!
Create a Habit of Self-Care
You are a human being with needs, rights, and preferences, just like them. Stop giving them control over your time, energy, and well-being.
Instead, make time for self-care. Get plenty of rest, eat nutritious foods, and find time for physical activity.
As you do this, don’t feel guilty about making time for something you truly enjoy. Don’t worry about the narcissist; they are capable of taking care of themselves.
When you stop letting your life revolve around the narcissist, and start taking care of yourself, you reclaim the power that is rightfully yours.
5 Educate Yourself About Narcissism
Knowledge is one of your greatest allies when dealing with a narcissist. If you don’t understand their behavior, you’re likely to fall victim to their attempts to control others.
Don’t be a victim; learn all you can about narcissism. Learn the key signs of narcissism and the common tactics they use to control their victims.
Related : Why Are Narcissists So Mean?
Once you know, you can identify and confront manipulative behavior.
For example, you will no longer fall for these games when you know that they use tactics like manipulation and blaming you to make you feel like you’re at fault.
With knowledge, you will be able to see the narcissist for who they really are. Instead of blindly giving in to them, you will be prepared to confront their bad behavior.
6 Believe Your Truth
A narcissist will do everything in their power to convince you that your version of events is false. They want to make you believe that you are the problem.
You are overly sensitive, have high expectations, or simply remember things incorrectly.
The narcissist needs you to believe these things so they can continue to treat you like the servant they think you are.
The Problem with Believing the Narcissist
When you are constantly being told that you are wrong or that you are to blame, you will doubt yourself. The problem is that once you believe the narcissist’s version of reality, they take control.
Stop believing the narcissist’s version of events! They live in a different world than the rest of us.
In their world, they are superior, and you are just a puppet who caters to their needs and feeds their ego. Allowing them to get away with convincing you that you are always wrong leaves them in power.
Related : Things Narcissists do When They’re Jealous of You
Instead of accepting them for who they are, see them for who they are: cold, cruel manipulators.
Your version of reality is likely accurate. Trust your gut, and stop accepting their twisted narrative.
Conclusion
Narcissists love power and control games, but you don’t have to play. Recognize these games for what they are, and you’ll be more than willing to sit out.
If you can, it’s also helpful to distance yourself from the narcissist as much as possible. The less access they have to you, the less power they have.
