Ah, the beginning.

The beginning is the one time you won’t see the narcissist standing in front of you. Instead, you’ll see a sweet, loving, overly complimentary person vying for your attention.

Recognizing a narcissist is like being hypnotized into believing that they’re not wearing a mask. It’s when they convince you that they’re the best thing you’ve ever had.

All your dreams will come true. They’ll promise you so much and stop at nothing to make you emotionally attached to them.

Related :What to Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down

I want to help you avoid a narcissist by looking for the key things they say in the beginning.

You can avoid disaster!

PushPullLikeTides

Narcissistic relationships are built on the push and pull of one person (the narcissist) and how that push and pull affects you.

Their sole purpose is to control you. They do this through their mood, how they act around you, and the subtle actions they commit right in front of your eyes.

This push and pull can be intense, and the pull can be dizzying.

In fact, so much so that you get used to their energy very quickly. You think it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. You don’t want to be without it, even if it means tolerating the pushes…

WarningSigns

You’ve probably all heard of warning signs, but I wanted to share them here. After all, warning signs can come in the form of seemingly positive messages.

A narcissist’s love bombing may seem like a far cry from the warning signs you’re used to looking for. Yelling, agitation, maybe even violence. None of that is in the love bombing phase, after all, what’s the love in all of that?!

Love bombing is a warning sign in and of itself. Noticing it will keep you from having any chance of falling into any “firsts.”

It’s Never Too Early to Leave

Listen, even if you’ve fallen into the trap, I want you to know something. I’ve told dozens and dozens of people this in the past, and it will never “stop.”

It’s never too early to leave someone. If something feels off, if his love for you is intense and exaggerated, if he promises you overwhelming things – you may feel narcissistic nausea.

If that happens – leave.

It will be the escape you deserve.

You don’t “need” anyone

No one needs.

No one should need. The need to be with someone in any relationship indicates a more attachment style of relationship. Attachment is how narcissists hold on to people, with the idea that one cannot live without the other.

The seven most common things narcissists say in the beginning:

Let’s go together!

What an exciting idea, to be lured by a wonderful person and take you on a vacation. They might even describe it as an adventure – luring you in with all the lights and noise of a city break.

Related : Things That Make Narcissists Lose Their Mind

When someone wants to go away with you, it usually means they see you as someone serious about them. This goes along with the concept of being special enough to take you away, of course.

This kind of suggestion is the narcissist’s way of making you feel alone and like you’re the only person they want to be around.

I’ve Never Met Anyone Like You

Yes, that’s right. That old chestnut!

Narcissists love to use this line. It picks you out from a pool of other potential love interests and sets you apart.

It puts you in a category of your own.

Your own.

This phrase is another tactic to isolate you, until you return the feeling. Phrases like this are an invitation for narcissists to match what they say so they feel as loved as you appear to be.

I say “show up” because narcissists never love.

You’reTheOne

A done deal, right? “You’re the one for me” really means, “I’ll do everything in my power to keep you forever because you’re a really good source of supply.”

To the innocent eye, ear, and heart, this is a wonderful thing to hear. You’ve finally found the person you were meant to find.

Your soulmate.

Soulmates encourage independence, growth, and nurturing one’s identity. They compromise and are loyal, and they show affection and honesty with their emotions and feelings.

None of these conditions apply to narcissists. Remember love is unconditional.

YouAreTheAnswerToAllMyProblems

Sorry, what?

It sounds like a good thing, but if you rub that gold-plated surface, all you see is cheap metal.

All my problems?

How many problems do you have exactly?

How can one person be the answer to everything that is wrong in their life?

Do they need a new car? Do you have a lot of money?

Related : How Do You Deal with Silent Treatment from Narcissists?

Do they need a mansion to live in, and you have your own apartment?

Think about what that could really mean, and run!

I want to get married and have kids

Absolutely. That’s enough to prepare anyone for such a huge and important step.

Hearing words like that is very tempting. It means that someone sees you as the person they trust to handle their children. It means that you will be an excellent parent – ​​it’s tempting.

What’s not to love about hearing something wonderful like that?

Of course, narcissists will say this at first. Because they want you to see it with them for the long term and not go anywhere.

Move in with me?

Oh my god. How long has it been? A week? A month?

Don’t move in with anyone early in a relationship. Not knowing someone well enough yet willing to give up your personal space for them is dangerous and unhealthy.

It’s dangerous in and of itself.

Narcissists like to say this because they don’t set boundaries – but that doesn’t mean you don’t or shouldn’t set boundaries.

Don’t isolate yourself and fall into financial dependency by agreeing to this.

That’s exactly what they want – for you to depend on them.

MyLifeHasBeenSoRough

Oh my god. It’s not that you shouldn’t care. You should be careful.

You’re listening to one side of one story, and if you find that they’re sharing too much too soon, you should listen to your gut.

Related : How Do You Know a Narcissist is Lying?

Narcissists want maximum empathy. They also want to set up a whole bunch of excuses for their future misbehavior by being able to say, “Well, I’m feeling impatient because of… X Y Z.”

Narcissists like to rehash their struggles at first but they handle them with caution. They’re likely to be greatly edited, exaggerated, or completely made up.

No.

There should be no oversharing.

There should be no excuses.