The externalization of children’s self-identity due to today’s ubiquitous pop culture and social media, which I discussed in my last post, has led to an unhealthy internal focus on the self among young people today.
Remember the story of Narcissus? The handsome man in Greek mythology was punished by the gods for his indifference and disdain for others by falling in love with his image. He was so entranced by his beauty that he couldn’t tear himself away from his reflection in a pool of water, so he faded away and died.
To put it all together, narcissism is a personality trait associated with self-absorption, selfishness, an overestimation of one’s importance and abilities, a sense of entitlement, and a disregard for others. According to recent research, narcissism has produced many offspring in our current generation, and narcissism is alive and well in America. One study found that 30% of young people were classified as narcissists according to a widely used psychological test. That number has doubled in the past 30 years. Another study reported a 40% decline in empathy among young people, a personality trait that is inversely correlated with narcissism, since the 1980s. These findings are not surprising to anyone paying attention to the “it’s all about me” culture we currently live in. So what has caused this rise in narcissism and what impact will it have on our children and society as a whole?
One obvious place where young people learn about narcissism is in popular culture. In a study conducted by celebrity psychologist Dr. Drew Pinsky, who had 200 “celebrities” (I put the word in quotes because the bar for being a celebrity is so low these days) complete a narcissistic personality test, they found that they were significantly more narcissistic than the general population. Interestingly, celebrities who had real talent, such as musicians, were the least narcissistic. Guess who are the most self-absorbed celebrities? Reality TV stars! Unsurprisingly, the celebrities who were famous for being famous were the most narcissistic; their narcissism drove them to become famous.
Another fascinating study explored changes in song lyrics over the past three decades. The researchers found a significant shift toward words that reflect narcissism (“I” and “me” appear more often than “we” and “us”) and hostility (a shift from positive to angry words and emotions). These findings are not only due to the growing popularity and influence of hip-hop (which is notorious for its self-absorption, artist aggrandizement, and toxic messaging), but are evident across genres. You don’t have to go far to gather your data on narcissism. Remember these names: Charlie Sheen, Terrell Owens, Kanye West?
It’s no surprise that we’re seeing a rise in narcissism among this generation, given that young people are bombarded with these messages through all forms of media, including modern technological developments such as celebrity websites and social media. Other research suggests that social media sites, such as Facebook, are reservoirs of narcissism because they give young people outlets to share trivial things and get attention. Additionally, the amount of time kids spend immersed in technology may be playing a role in fostering narcissism. All that screen time has reduced the amount of real (i.e. face-to-face) human contact kids have, depriving them of the experiences needed to develop essential social skills, such as empathy, compassion, and consideration for others, that combat narcissism.
Here’s the really disturbing part: How can kids these days avoid contracting this “disease” when, thanks to the connected world they live in, most of the messages they’re receiving sanctify and encourage narcissism?
The self-esteem movement and the recent shift toward “over-parenting” are also likely contributing to the rise in self-esteem. Although the exact causes of narcissism have yet to be confirmed, researchers have identified several risk factors associated with parenting, including 1) praise for innate qualities such as physical appearance, intelligence, or other abilities; 2) praise that is not consistent with reality; 3) excessive rewards for good behavior and unjustified criticism or punishment for bad behavior; 4) excessive pampering by parents; and 5) parents who invest their self-esteem excessively in their children’s achievements. In addition, children born with a sensitive temperament are more susceptible to these parenting styles.
In addition to the alarming rise in narcissism among our children, perhaps a greater concern is that our culture now seems to not only accept narcissism but promote it as the norm. Certainly, the shift in societal values away from collectivism toward individualism, away from civic responsibility toward self-gratification, away from meaningful contributions to society and toward personal success (as defined by wealth, power, fame, and status) has also contributed to the cultural messages of narcissism that children are immersed in today.
Related : 6 Keys for Narcissists to Change Toward the Higher Self
No doubt, narcissists are glorified in popular culture (narcissism = coolness), and new technology is used to feed this narcissism among the masses (otherwise how do we explain why Ashton Kutcher has over seven million followers!). Moreover, the apathy, selfishness, disrespect, and lack of consideration that are at the core of narcissism also reflect the increasingly polarized and apathetic tone of our current political structures, the recent unethical behavior of corporations, the rise in cheating rates among students in schools, and a wide range of misbehavior among professional athletes. It is no surprise that children who are constantly exposed to these messages are becoming prey to them.
The discussion up to this point leads me to ask two questions that I find very frightening. First, what impact might an increasingly normalized culture of narcissism have on our children’s development, including their self-identities, self-worth, values, and aspirations? Think of all the qualities that enable your children to become healthy, contributing members of our society—hard work, respect, compassion, tolerance, altruism—and you will find that they are lacking in the narcissistic personality or the culture in which they are raised. Second, what impact might future generations of narcissistic children-turned-adults have on the direction of popular culture and our society as a whole? Think about it. At least the current generation of parents was raised in a time that was less narcissistic and more grounded in healthy values and attitudes (even if many adults have now gone to the “dark side”). Imagine a society made up of the current generation of soon-to-be adults who know no other world than the present, “everything revolves around me,” a world dominated by pop culture and technology.
I don’t have a crystal ball, so I can’t look into the future and know the answers to these questions. But if what’s happening now to our children and our society is any indication, it’s hard to hold out much hope for the future.
