Social media has made it much easier for people to find partners and go on dates than ever before.
It has helped couples separated by time zones stay in touch despite the distance.
Despite these benefits, social media can also be a cause of breakups as well.
Since it’s largely a public space, it’s easier than ever to spot when your partner is up to no good.
You might see them flirting with strangers in the comments, or you might see them tagged in a recent photo with their ex.
These are the red flags that could be real breakups.
Here are 12 signs to look out for to help you protect your relationship, and especially yourself.
- They’re not accepting your online connection
Maybe you work in the same building or next door to each other.
And you’ve been seeing each other for a while now.
On the surface, everything seems fine.
Maybe you’ve been so immersed in day-to-day interactions that you never noticed that they haven’t followed you on Instagram or added you as a friend on Facebook.
It’s definitely weird, especially in today’s social-media-crazed world, that they haven’t done these things yet.
It’s something that seems harmless — but they just won’t do it.
This could raise a small red flag, meaning they don’t plan on keeping the relationship going for the long haul.
- You’ve seen them making flirty comments to others
You’re scrolling through your timeline until something suddenly catches your eye. It’s them. They’ve posted a flirty comment… in response to someone you don’t even know.
They haven’t stopped to think about how others might notice them doing it.
This is a clear red flag that your partner may not be as committed as you think they are.
Flirting with someone else is behavior that tends to be tolerated in healthy relationships.
This could help you convince yourself that you need to end the relationship.
- They don’t post anything about your relationship
It’s understandable that some people don’t want to share things about their lives. Everyone has a right to privacy, and you respect that.
But what bothers you is the fact that they rarely post anything about you.
It can get even worse when they post almost anything else – their food, their new clothes, places they’ve traveled, friends they’ve met – but not about you.
You may have already posted about them or even changed your relationship status.
But they haven’t.
This could be a sign that they don’t want to put your face on their profile for long, or that they’re not as committed as you think.
- You find out they went on a trip without telling you
You asked them if they wanted to grab dinner somewhere but they said they were too busy.
Being the respectful partner that you are, you understand and support them as much as you can.
But a few minutes later, you see a photo that one of their friends shared online: it’s your partner somewhere that’s definitely not their office, having a good time with people you’ve never met.
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They’ve gone behind your back; catching them doing this can be annoying.
They clearly didn’t want to be honest with you, so they kept this information from you.
Keeping secrets in any relationship can lead to something bad.
- They’re always on their phones
When you’re on a date, it doesn’t seem as romantic as it could be.
Why?
Well, it could be because your partner has their head down, staring at their phone most of the time.
You’re having lunch and you see them scrolling through social media.
There’s a beautiful sunset ahead of you, but they never notice.
This might not just mean they love social media; it could mean they’re addicted to it.
This could be a clear warning sign that you’re not even a priority; their attention is clearly directed elsewhere.
- They’re constantly seeking attention online
While you enjoy seeing their selfies, you can sometimes feel like they’re posting too much of themselves.
They post selfies of themselves doing the most mundane things, posing and posing in almost the same poses every time.
It can eventually get awkward with the number of selfie albums they post.
This could be a subtle and not-so-subtle way to get attention.
It could be a red flag because they don’t think that validation from you is enough for them, so they’re looking for likes instead.
What can make it even more suspicious is when they’re constantly posting photos of themselves donating to charities and helping others.
While it might be nice to encourage others to do the same, you can’t help but feel like they’re bragging about how nice they are – even though you know they’re usually not.
- They post suspicious photos
After a night out with their friends, you might see their photos online in the morning.
You scroll through the photos, enjoying how silly they look, until your heart sinks: it’s a photo of them with their ex.
They haven’t told you anything about it.
This is a clear red flag; they’ve deliberately not told you for one reason or another.
If they say they don’t even remember what happened, that could be another reason to be suspicious.
- They refuse to add your friends and family
Social media allows for another level of meeting their family in the digital age: connecting with them online.
But the problem is, they don’t want to, even though they’ve already met them.
This may not be your biggest hurdle, but it can make you question how committed they are to you.
They may not want to connect with you if they eventually decide to break up with you.
- Their erratic and unstable online behavior
They constantly share inspirational posters and videos; they post positive affirmations that focus on being happier and living a better life.
While you may like these things, there’s a problem: in real life, they’re extremely pessimistic, or even aggressive.
You know that it’s not in their nature to be so positive. They’re dishonest and they lie to people.
If they don’t see this as a problem, it’s a warning sign.
Their relaxed attitude toward casually lying to people online could lead to some bad things in your relationship down the road.
- They publicly support people you don’t agree with
When you go on dates, you can connect with them on a deeper level.
There’s no one you’ve ever met that you can have meaningful conversations with.
It makes you feel refreshed and grateful to have them in your life.
But then you ignore something they’ve shared that doesn’t make you happy.
Maybe they shared a post supporting a presidential candidate you strongly disagree with.
Or they’re constantly sharing controversial, radical content that completely contradicts your political or religious beliefs.
These are major warning signs to be aware of. They may not be someone you want to be involved with, romantically or even platonically.
- They follow too many sexual accounts
Now that you’ve committed to each other, there’s an implicit expectation that no one will look at other attractive people anymore.
You’re so immersed in them that others don’t even compare their looks and personality.
You wish they thought the same way—until you accidentally look over their shoulder and see what’s on their phone: photos of naked models in sexy poses.
They may be following more pornographic accounts.
While expressing your sexual orientation can have its benefits in any relationship, it can also make you feel uncomfortable and insecure about yourself.
It’s a clear red flag that they may be more sexually active than you thought.
It can be even worse if their phone wallpaper is a sexy model, too.
- They Have a Secret Account
You may have found out from a friend or glanced at their laptop or phone that they have an account… that doesn’t have their name on it.
At first, it may seem strange to you; it may be confusing.
But it may be an account they’re hiding from you.
It may be like they’re living a double life, keeping secrets, and talking to different people under different names.
This is one of the most obvious warning signs to look out for.
- Dealing with the Warning Signs
When you notice these warning signs, it can be heartbreaking.
The most important step is to be honest with your partner.
Talk to them about it, and express your concerns openly.
It may be easy to launch a barrage of insults at him, but that may not solve anything.
Instead, be honest and polite.
Try not to be too aggressive as he may deny his behavior even more.
If you can’t talk to him, or if you’ve lost all trust in him, it’s time to break up to save yourself from a potentially toxic relationship.
